WEDDING MAY BE OFF...FIRST UPDATE!!! SECOND UPDATE WITH RESOLUTION!!!

i'm sorry you're going through this and

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Posted by NY2Cincinnati


Mr. and Mrs. Bride's Parents
request the honour of your presence at the marriage of the daughter
Diana
to
Bradley
son of Mr. and Mrs. Groom's Parent

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This is exactly what I was going to post. Its not a big deal IMO. Sorry youre so upset.

I am sorry you are going through this and I hope you two resolve it quickly.

I am going to be repetitive here but it has nothing to do with how old his parents are. My parents are older and they are helping us out A LOT with our wedding. FILs have not contributed financially but they RAISED him for 24 years of his life.

I had a mini fit when I went to order my invitations too. I said I wanted it to say that my parents were hosting and then have 'Anthony SON OF so and so' and my mother refused. She was the one who said that both parents should be hosting or neither. I really wanted to recognize all of that my parents have done for me but in the end I realized 'is this any way to start my marriage?'

it is a sign of honor and respect to put BOTH the parents on the invitations and if it is THAT important to him IMO i would just put them both on there. Our parents raised us and loved us long before our fiances were in our lives so I think it is important to respect their wishes when it comes to minor details like the invitations.

I hope this blows over soon and good luck with your decision!

Hey Melissa

First off

Take a deep breath. I understand why you are putting your foot down with this, but try to think about the grand picture. Having his parents' names under his name does not mean that they paid for anything- just saying that they are his parents, which I think is fair to do. They are his parents in all fairness, no matter if they stink or not.

FH and I are paying for a large chunk of the wedding ourselves... My mother gave about double of what FH parents gave... but they gave what they could.

Either way... we put both of their names on the invitations... they didn't help plan it... lord knows I did all the planning (which its our wedding so I don't know why you would want their help... to many opinions if you ask me...)

I hope you both calm down and maybe got out to dinner and discuss this matter, if it means that much to your FH... just do it... its not worth arguing over...

Good luck, and I hope that it all works out.

I am sooooo Sorry you are stressing ... I understand your point about the money .. But you have to pick your battles I think this isnt that Big of an issue to end the wedding .. You both were upset and He didnt mean it .. He just wants his parents included. I wouldfigure out a wording that would work for the both f you.. Its not worth Fighting over

i didn't wanna do it either but i did. both our parents names are on there. in the end, it just didn't really wasn't a big deal. they are happy. the rest of the day is about me. so they can have a name on the invite which will be long forgotten about come the big day.

but it just pissed me off when FMIL didn't call us to tell us that she even got the invite

if it makes you feel better you can write:

mr and mrs your parents
request bla bla bla
at the marriage of their daughter
your name
to
FH's name
son of mr and mrs FH's parents

see if that works out for the both of you.

Ok I am answering and I didn't even read anyone else's response so I am sorry if this is something that is being repeated. However IMHO I think you are def blowing this out of proportion. I think that planning a wedding is seriously for woman only. If a guy is too much into it, I think that would be very weird. I am sure if you asked him his opinion he would tell you what he thought or if you asked for help he would help. Maybe I am wrong. If that is the case this should have been a given in other issues in your life before you decided to marry him.
I think it is completely disrespectful to speak about $ amounts and to put a value on what someone gives you. His parents gave life to him and should be honored if your fh would like them too. Marriage is about compromise and if you can not get through the planning of a wedding you really should reconsider then. I don't mean to be harsh but really you have to sit and think is this all worth it. There is no reason why you can't compromise and put their names on... or just put your names and together w their families or together w their parents.
You need to pick and chose your fights better and if you can't well then that's an indication of what the outcome of your future will be.

I understand you're upset, but you need to ask yourself if this battle is really worth your relationship with your FH.

My invitations have both my parents' and my FH's parents' names on it -- but they are worded so that my parents are hosting. They are the ones with the honor in the invitations.

They read:

Mr. and Mrs. James George LAST NAME
request the honour of your presence
att he marriage of their daugher
Kara Patrice
to
Todd Charles
son of
Mr. and Mrs. Todd Kenneth LAST NAME

This wording would clearly give your parents the honor position and still have his parents on the invite.

And not for nothing, just b/c his parents are old and have older friends doesn't mean they are any less important to your FH.

I'd not make this a fight and put their names on the invite. JMHO. Don't sweat the small stuff. In the end it's not worth it.

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Posted by imas98

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Posted by NY2Cincinnati

Mr. and Mrs. Bride's Parents
request the honour of your presence at the marriage of the daughter
Diana
to
Bradley
son of Mr. and Mrs. Groom's Parent

---

I would do it this way...their names would be there & everyone knows who's paying.

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I think this is the ONLY way I would do it, if I have to do it...we'll see tonight when we talk...

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Posted by jayandjenny

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Posted by hmv12

I am so sorry for what happened. I will admit that my FH's parents have done 0% for this wedding as well, but I put their names on the invite for respect. I understand how you feel, but if it is important for your FH maybe you should just do that for him...JMO

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BTW, your dress is beautiful!

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Thanks, you made me smile for the first time today =)

I completey agree with Kristina.. I'd do that.

For the record. Neither of our parents are paying for the wedding and we but

- Bride's Name
&
Groom's Name
Together with their parents


just out of respect.

I can understand though why you're frustrated.

I didnt read any of the posts before responding..

Putting the parents name on the invitation does not equal to who is paying for or who is helping for the wedding more...

Having the names of the parents on the invitations simply says....We the parents present our child...to wed so and so...

It does not indicate who is paying for the wedding or helping.

I think you are just reacting to alot of other frustrations that you are dealing with., which is totally understandable...

Please just let this go...to have his parents on the invite is an honor..and its done out of respect.., if you dont put their names on it., its a very big smack in the face to them....

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Posted by TreAnt425

It's not worth fighting over - put their names on the invitation if it will make him happy. The invitation is going to go in the garbage and no one will know the difference!

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I agree.

And whether or not they paid, they are HIS PARENTS!! They should be on the invitation if they want to be. No one will assume they are paying for the wedding.

Heck, you saw our wording -- we paid for more than half of the wedding ourselves!

i really see both sides to this argument but when it comes down to it, it isnt the best battle to fight. In truth, it is probably true that his parents couldnt afford to help with the wedding even if they wanted to. Many older people live on a fixed income and are just getting by as it is. Consider that the concept of a wedding now is very different than what it was when they got married. Go tell anyone over 70 that weddings can cost $30K on average and they will be amazed!

In the end, i do feel its about respect and they are his parents and raised him just as much as your parents raised you. they shouldnt be publicly embarrassed by their son's wedding and i dont think putting their names on the invitation is disrespectful to your parents. If FH parents were totally uninvolved with our wedding and it was important to him for them to be on the invitation, i would include them, for FH is anything. It's his wedding too.

As for your FH threatening to cancel the wedding because of it, well, that is not good and i would explore that. everytime something comes up that is stressful that the both of you disagree on if he going to threaten to call the wedding off/divorce you? im sure he is just stressed and dosent mean it, but i would clarify that those words should not be uttered in anger EVER!

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Posted by kokopelia

I think that planning a wedding is seriously for woman only. If a guy is too much into it, I think that would be very weird. I am sure if you asked him his opinion he would tell you what he thought or if you asked for help he would help. Maybe I am wrong.

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its funny that you say that, because i have no desire at all to wedding plan. I told FH if he wants his wedding (i wanted to elope) then he has to plan it himself, lol, we have done a lot together, but he is the one who deals with the RH(i REALLY hate the guy in charge, hes all slimey and salesmanny). i love this site because its the only place that inspires me to be more interested and help FH and see the fun in it. If it werent for this site, i would never have found my dress! But i do agree with you, i am weird, but i dont mind

First .....what does their ages or being old have to do with anything? Does being old mean they have no feelings or don't matter to your FH?
Second...I do understand that they should contribute, but if it means something to your FH then why not just let them be on the invite. Your parent's names will be first and you can always note that your parents are hosting so people will know who is paying for the wedding. By doing that you can save a lot of hard feelings for everyone and have a joyous wedding. JMO