Wedding planning gives me a panic attack!

Maybe its because I come from a family where marriage isn't really seen as a big deal... maybe it's because I've never planned anything and had it come out any where near what I envisioned and have since just given up on planning things altogether... but thinking about planning my wedding makes me hyperventilate... It doesn't help that I recently went to a friend's (FI's coworker actually) wedding and it was absolutely gorgeous! but other than that I've never been to a wedding and don't even know where to start... I keep putting it off because I have cold feet, not about getting married and spending my life with my FI, just about the planning... He's great and tries to take the lead, but I kno he doesn't kno what he's doing either and it makes me feel bad... luckily I've pushed the date back frequently and I think that 10/2013 should give me enough time to really take things nice and slooooooooow. but I still don't know where I should be starting... I guess my rant is over, thanks for reading.

I totally understand and it can be very overwhelming at times but keep in mind at this point, if you start to stress, take a month off from planning! We have time
What helped me begin me with planning was I made a journal of what I want for the wedding- visions, ideas, my non-negotiables (things that I want no matter what the cost), negotiables (compromisable) and neutrals (don't care either way). That helped me sort my budget out.
I also read both of David Tutera's books and other wedding planning books!
I won't start looking at a vendor until I know exactly what I want and I made a list of questions that matter to me for each vendor. It took me over 2 months to even walk into a hall bc I wanted a clear vision of what I was looking for! Maybe my lists and questions are overkill (its the virgo in me) but it works for me. Theres no right place to begin, but take it one step at a time! This site is sooo helpful too! Reading 2013 posts might give you insight on next steps

HTH

And welcome to 2013 brides! Join us on official list thread too

-kristy

Hi! Welcome and congrats! Another Oct 2013 Bride.. yay!! I totally understand where you are coming from. Like you, where I come from ppl don't get married too often. My parent were never married and I've only been to 3 weddings my entire life! Also I was never 1 of those girls who dreamed of her wedding her entire life so when I got engaged I was completely clueless as well. But as soon as we got engaged I began my research. I got a pad which I call 'my wedding pad' lol and I created a folder on my computer. I write everything down in the pad and whatever images of things I like I save to the folder. The internet has been the greatest help. I've learned so much. Especially since joining LIW.. this site and the ladies here have been the best!

In my opinion I would say start with the RH. That it 1 of the biggest 'checks' and also usually the most expensive. Think about your budget (if there is one) and decide about how much your willing to spend per person. Also think about the kind of ceremony you want. Do you want ceremony and reception in one loc? Is out door space important either for pix and/or ceremony? If your not sure what your looking for then just browse the websites of dif venues and i'm sure as you search things will catch your eye that you like and maybe things you didn't know you wanted in the beginning you will find out you love.

If your feeling stressed or overwhelmed just take day or whatever time you need off and try not to stress. You have plently of time so theres no need to rush. Also we're all here for you

HTH

Hi ..Welcome

Yea its alot to take in but you have alot of time to plan one thing at a time and you dont have to go nuts ....dont let it get you stress out ...just remember that u have alot of time ....this website is great for any advice ..all the girls on here will help you out!!!!!!! Good luck to you ...and i would start first finding the RH

Welcome and Congrats!

Wedding planning can be stressful, but so much fun!!!
If you really feel that you can't do it, and you can afford it, go with a wedding planner.
But, i think you can do it! Start with a hall ago take baby steps. You have some time (just dont wait too long, things are actually starting to book up for 2013).
The way i've been doing it is this:
Hall
DJ
Photo/Video - i'm currently on this hunt now
Limo
Flowers
Dresses

Then you can wait a little for
STD
Invites
and all other little things like menus, programs etc etc

Most halls have reccomended vendors, and soem even hall in inclusive weddings, so look into those as well!

Good luck and HAVE FUN
Did i miss anything girls?

---

Posted by BellaRegina

Welcome and Congrats!

Wedding planning can be stressful, but so much fun!!!
If you really feel that you can't do it, and you can afford it, go with a wedding planner.
But, i think you can do it! Start with a hall ago take baby steps. You have some time (just dont wait too long, things are actually starting to book up for 2013).
The way i've been doing it is this:
Hall
DJ
Photo/Video - i'm currently on this hunt now
Limo
Flowers
Dresses

Then you can wait a little for
STD
Invites
and all other little things like menus, programs etc etc

Most halls have reccomended vendors, and soem even hall in inclusive weddings, so look into those as well!

Good luck and HAVE FUN
Did i miss anything girls?

---

ITA! If you can afford a wedding planner then go for it. They will be there to guide you every step of the way. But if you ease your worries and just do some research and take everything 1 step at a time then i'm sure you and your FH will be just fine. You can also look into DOC (day of coordinator). They can be there just the day of your wedding to make sure everything flows smoothly and is in order. They will also be there to help you along the way. This is something I may look into myself for the day of bcuz I don't want to worry about anything the day of!

Thanks. You ladies are really nice. This forum definitely has a nicer feel to it than other forums I've been on (non wedding). I guess I will start with the RH first. I was telling my friend that even though I love the date we picked because it's our actual anniversary, it's not set in stone and we can be flexible if it means saving $$$ in the end.

Does anyone suggest I go to that bridal extravaganza or will that just be an overload if disorganized information?

I hope i can make it to be honest....its a little overwhelming...but youll get a lot of ideas and a ton of free magazines!!!
I'm actually sitting on my sofa right now with one bag (i have three!) of bridal mags, just cutting out things i like!

Np, we're all here to help each other out and get ideas and to vent if needed lol

Im not sure if ill make it to that expo cuz not sure if ill be able to get a ride thr but ill be attending my 1st one the following day (sept 13) in the city.. great bridal expo. Also the day after that on the 14th they have 1 in the bx at the villa barone. Im def looking fwd to it and experiecing it.

If u are flexible with ur date thats a big plus. Fri/Sun are in most cases a lot cheaper then a Sat. Also winter months are a lot cheaper. I switched my date frm oct 5th to the 6th bcuz having it on a Sun saved me $30+ pp. Big savings!

---

Posted by sapphirestarr14

Thanks. You ladies are really nice. This forum definitely has a nicer feel to it than other forums I've been on (non wedding). I guess I will start with the RH first. I was telling my friend that even though I love the date we picked because it's our actual anniversary, it's not set in stone and we can be flexible if it means saving $$$ in the end.

Does anyone suggest I go to that bridal extravaganza or will that just be an overload if disorganized information?

---

We are getting married on our anniversary! My brother is doing that too : ) as far as the bridal show, go! I went before I had any ideas but it was fun to walk around and see what its all about. There's lots of freebies too! But I remember feeling bleh though when people asked when I'm getting married and I said 'I don't know yet! We just got engaged'. They were kinda like whatever and most didn't give me more info. I get it, but still, I'm a bride! Even after I finally could say 'feb 2013' people are like 'o, well you have time...'. Hahahah. But I def got ideas and became more focused after the shows

Your going to become ADDICTED to the boards lol

---

Posted by BellaRegina

Your going to become ADDICTED to the boards lol

---

Lol. I believe you. I registered and then never came on because I had class, but I'm on break now and have been reading reviews and old posts all day!

Wedding planning is so overwhelming. Sometimes I find myself saying 'I wish we ran away and got married'.

That is such a terrible thing to say but because of the stress not only with the wedding but day to day life on top of it--it can just get so crazy!

I think you should, as someone else said first make a budget and then make a list of things that you ABSOLUTELY must have at your wedding.

Make sure it is enjoyable for you--don't let it become miserable. If it does.. take a break.

Remember we are here if you need us!

Also--October tends to be one of the more expensive months..so definitely keep that in mind!

Yeah. I think maybe November will be better, as far as funds go... I just don't want to give up the fall scenery. It's my absolute favorite time of the year....

In regards to coming up with a budget: what other fees are associated with a hall? I'd like to have everything at the same locale (assuming it's cheaper that way...) I know they charge per plate and then add 20% gratuity and the standard tax on top of that but my FH was saying that they also charge for having the ceremony and reception (are there separate fees for each? If so what do they usually range)? I want a garden type place or if at all possible a really nice place like westbury manor so that if it rains we can have an indoor option too...

---

Posted by sapphirestarr14

Yeah. I think maybe November will be better, as far as funds go... I just don't want to give up the fall scenery. It's my absolute favorite time of the year....

In regards to coming up with a budget: what other fees are associated with a hall? I'd like to have everything at the same locale (assuming it's cheaper that way...) I know they charge per plate and then add 20% gratuity and the standard tax on top of that but my FH was saying that they also charge for having the ceremony and reception (are there separate fees for each? If so what do they usually range)? I want a garden type place or if at all possible a really nice place like westbury manor so that if it rains we can have an indoor option too...

---

For most places I looked into it was the general per person rate for the date you choose. Most places like you said are 20% grat + tax. Usually there is a ceremony fee. Most places i've been to are about $500. In my location its $700. I haven't been to a place that charges a seperate reception fee, its just the per person rate. I don't know if its cheaper to do it all in 1 location but to me is easier to have everying in the same place. No traveling from church, to pix site, to RH and you will prob save on limo fees as well. For me I chose a place that had ceremony/reception and beautiful scenery all in 1. The only traveling will be from the hotel we get ready to the venue. Some places also have bridal attendant and/or matre D' charges that they add on (cpl extra dollars per person). They will most likely inform you of that when you go to your appts. Like Carol (summerbeauty) said Oct is still considered a peak month but if you really want Oct consider changing your day to a Fri or Sun which will def be cheaper than a Sat. I found a great price for the type of location I wanted by swtiching my date from a Sat to Sun. It was a tough decision at 1st bcuz I really wanted Oct 5th but it just made more sense to save that money and use it towards other things. If your looking for garden def check out Swan Club. They have GORGEOUS grounds and the ceremony is held on the garden in an enclosed ac/heated room that has glass all around so your still protected if it rains yet still get all the views.

Np! Glad to help.

=)
Don't forget about tips for the staff on the day of! That can be expensive too.

---

Posted by SummerBeauty

=)
Don't forget about tips for the staff on the day of! That can be expensive too.

---

Very True. I hadn't even thought about that until I saw another bride on the boards asking about it. Def have to have extra cash for the day of for tipping