Wedding Reception or a House?

Original post by Dibo2b

Dec 24, 2006 03:09 PM

I have always thought that this would happen and I always knew what my answer would be. Now that this decision needs to be made I'm not sure what to do....

I have been told that I can have a wedding reception or a down payment on a house....

Weddings do get very exspensive very quickly and they only last a few hours - a house is an investment in your future - but no one really gets to share that with you.... Both my fiance and I have LARGE families so even an intimate family only wedding we are still looking at close to 100+ people.

This decision has become harder then I thought it would be... Can anyone help give this some perspective or even tell me what you would do?
Thanks,
Totally Undecisive.

vmystique33 Posted: Dec 25, 2006 04:43 PM

Re: Wedding Reception or a House?

Im having my wedding at the polish hall in port jefferson station and my whole wedding is going to be less than $10,000 im sure you can do something cheap But i think i would still have the wedding

drpepper318 Posted: Dec 26, 2006 12:57 AM

Re: Wedding Reception or a House?

I'd go for the house to spend the big $ on, and then have a very small intimate wedding.

natseven Posted: Dec 26, 2006 09:39 AM

Re: Wedding Reception or a House?

Posted by snydl40

I would love the house. But that being said, you can have a fairly reasonably priced wedding-maybe go upstate-not on LI, and the gifts you receive can be your down payment on a house.

My thoughts exactly.

Wintersbride Posted: Dec 26, 2006 10:23 AM

Re: Wedding Reception or a House?

House is a better investment

The wedding is a wonderful experience, but it's over very quickly and is not as good of an investment. You could always have a party whenever, but if you have the opportunity to put a down payment on a house, especially with the cost of homes these days, you are better off getting the house.

ETA: I had a reasonably inexpensive wedding, but it was very nice. However, we did not even get back half of what we spent...many brides tell the same tale.

stephanief Posted: Dec 26, 2006 10:41 AM

Re: Wedding Reception or a House?

without a doubt, the downpayment for a house.....sorry but IMHO, that is a no-brainer

JPC1125 Posted: Dec 26, 2006 11:24 AM

Re: Wedding Reception or a House?

We faced the same choice...do we spend all our hard earned $$$ on just one night or on our future home

We chose the wedding and we wouldnt regret iut for the world!!!!
Everyone we love were all together for one day and showed us that they loved and supported our marriage.
We are always thinking back on our big day and wish we could do it again!!!

Even though now we are financially just where we were before the wedding (not enough yet for a house) I still wouldnt trade my wedding for ANYTHING!!!!

((And I was the girl whose LIW name used to be Anti-Bride and wanted to elope to be practical!))

Bridex100 Posted: Dec 26, 2006 11:31 AM

Re: Wedding Reception or a House?

It depends on your earnings. If you can save up a down payment on a house in a year, I think you should have the white wedding. If you don't think you can save this amount for a long time, definitely the house.

I would have a simple wedding that isn't too expensive. You could always just have a cocktail hour type reception at the church. I've been to weddings like that.

Also, you can expect that most people who attend your reception will cover their plate in the form of a gift so it isn't like you'd have to pay for the entire reception out of your pocket. If you have a cheaper reception, you will probably come out with positive money.

tara08 Posted: Dec 26, 2006 11:36 AM

Re: Wedding Reception or a House?

I do think it depends on your earnings... and how quickly you could get the momey together for a down payment on a house... You can always buy the house and have a great party in it to celebrate your wedding.

LaurenluvsTJ Posted: Dec 26, 2006 11:46 AM

Re: Wedding Reception or a House?

Posted by JPC1125

We faced the same choice...do we spend all our hard earned $$$ on just one night or on our future home

We chose the wedding and we wouldnt regret iut for the world!!!!
Everyone we love were all together for one day and showed us that they loved and supported our marriage.
We are always thinking back on our big day and wish we could do it again!!!

Even though now we are financially just where we were before the wedding (not enough yet for a house) I still wouldnt trade my wedding for ANYTHING!!!!

((And I was the girl whose LIW name used to be Anti-Bride and wanted to elope to be practical!))

I agree with this...
I see I am in the minority here, but even though the wedding was ridiculously expensive, it was the best day of my life and I would never trade it for the world.
Had we not done the big wedding, the money we spent plus the money my parents contributed could have been a down payment. But then I think I would regret not having done the wedding.
Yes, yes, I know the marriage is the most important part, and yes I would still be happily married even if we had a civil ceremony and a dinner with family. My parents had a small wedding at a friends house and my mom to this day regrets not having a big wedding, she really feels she missed out on something. They have been married over 30 years and are very happy, but that regret always lingers.
You may have to hold off a year or two to save up the money to buy a house after the wedding, but you will never regret the memories that day will give you.
Yes everyone says a house is an investment and a wedding is not - but you don't have a wedding for an investment.
Also, you don't have to have a lot of money as a down payment for a house. We don't and are still making it it work.

ali120206 Posted: Dec 26, 2006 12:10 PM

Re: Wedding Reception or a House?

I agree with JPC1125 and LaurenluvsTJ. I was on the fence about having a wedding reception or buying a house. I chose to have the large wedding because I felt that I would regret it in the future if I didn't! It was such a great day, I'm so glad we did it. I had so much fun having all of our family and friends around us and dancing most of the night away with the band.

We are currently starting our house hunt using the remainder of our savings and the gifts we received from our family and friends at the wedding.

donegal419 Posted: Dec 26, 2006 12:36 PM

Re: Wedding Reception or a House?

NO question... the house. i wouldn't even debate it if it were me..... a house is an investment, and if you have someone that can help you with the INSANE cost of houses and property on long island, i would jump on it!!!!

a wedding is special and a memory you will always have, but the house is the better investment in the long run.... a party lasts 5 hours, you can live in the house for the rest of your life. i would take the house and then have a small wedding.... there are so many ways to have a wedding on LI without spending $200.00 a head and it can be just as nice and special. good luck!

Dibo2b Posted: Dec 26, 2006 01:45 PM

Re: Wedding Reception or a House?

Thank you everyone for the great feedback!

My ideal resolution would be the best of both worlds! We want the wedding - maybe not an over the top wedding - but we want the wedding!

We plan to save a portion of the wedding budget to be used towards a house and will take some time to save up more money. We currently live together and rent a spacious comfortable apartment so there really is no rush for the house... yet.

Thanks again for everything and if you'd like keep the comments coming.

Just incase you wanted to know my original thoughts were 'house hands down!' But when that decision was actually laid in my lap it was hard to make.

Thanks for everything.

rojerono Posted: Dec 26, 2006 02:06 PM

Re: Wedding Reception or a House?

For me.. there was no question. I would not even CONSIDER having a wedding if I did not have a house.

The house is actually helping us pay for the wedding. We are using a HELOC to finance a good portion of the wedding expenses! Which means we get all that interest from the wedding payments BACK at the end of the year! Whoo hoo!

kellygirl Posted: Dec 26, 2006 02:14 PM

Re: Wedding Reception or a House?

I think I would have to go with a house. My FH and I are paying for our wedding by ourselves, so we opted for the wedding b/c at least we may break even (give or take). But if I were in your shoes, I'd take the money for the house and pay for the wedding yourself (if that's even an option). We figured if we bought the house first, we'd never have the wedding.

TheFutureMrsM Posted: Dec 26, 2006 03:58 PM

Re: Wedding Reception or a House?

This was a major decision for us as well. We decided on buying the house First. And waiting til jun 08 to get married. we have been in the house 4 months already and love it.

A house has alot of expenses but in the end it is an investment. A wedding is not an investment.
Its a party for 1 day.

babygirl71777 Posted: Dec 26, 2006 04:38 PM

Re: Wedding Reception or a House?

if i could go back, i would of taken a house over a wedding. cause you would have a place to live forever and you could always have a big bash at your house in honor of a wedding

melbalalala Posted: Dec 27, 2006 12:27 AM

Re: Wedding Reception or a House?

House house house!!! WEddings are 5 hours, houses are forever!

MillerFord742008 Posted: Dec 27, 2006 02:11 AM

Re: Wedding Reception or a House?

Both! Have a small party afterwards...if you can cut corners do that, so that you may be able to have what you wanted.

nocode Posted: Dec 27, 2006 03:16 PM

Re: Wedding Reception or a House?

Posted by Trishthedish

Posted by sfmullen

I would get the house then have a big party at your house celebrating your wedding!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is what I would do.

My FH always says that we should have just taken the money to put down on a house as a downpayment but my parents offered to give us $10,000 for that. In my eyes, a wedding costs so much more than that and $10,000 just does nothing for a downpayment. Therefore, we are having a wedding that in the end is costing like $40,000, which is crazy. Also, we already own a condo so maybe that is why I feel differently too. I suggest to use that money as a downpayment on a house and then have an amazing party at your home celebrating your wedding.

Good luck with whatever you decide!!

i totally agree...originally fh and i wanted a very small inexpensive wedding, however we both have big families and im the only girl and my two bothers are definately not getting married anytime soon, so my parents wanted a wedding wedding, you know....anyway if we didnt already have a condo to live in after the wedding and sell for a downpayment on a house i would take the money and put it toward a house its just a better investment, i agree that you should still have a wedding jusy maybe do it more casual