I have always thought that this would happen and I always knew what my answer would be. Now that this decision needs to be made I'm not sure what to do....
I have been told that I can have a wedding reception or a down payment on a house....
Weddings do get very exspensive very quickly and they only last a few hours - a house is an investment in your future - but no one really gets to share that with you.... Both my fiance and I have LARGE families so even an intimate family only wedding we are still looking at close to 100+ people.
This decision has become harder then I thought it would be... Can anyone help give this some perspective or even tell me what you would do? Thanks, Totally Undecisive.
Mrs. V 2008
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Re: Wedding Reception or a House?
probably the house! for the reasons you stated! And the reception isn't as important as the fact that you are marrying the love of your life..Who cares when or where it is...all that matters is your getting married!
sfmullen
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Re: Wedding Reception or a House?
I would get the house then have a big party at your house celebrating your wedding!!!!!!!!!!!!!
PreshusSmurf
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Re: Wedding Reception or a House?
Even though we booked our hall and major vendors about 6 months ago, my Dad keeps telling me that I should change everything to a destination wedding and they'd give us the money towards a house.
Maybe I'm a fool (a definite possibility!!! ) ....
.... but we're having the wedding!
My reasoning: even though the wedding only lasts a few hours, it is something we will remember for the rest of our lives. Its important to me to have. FH & I have been together for almost 6 years, I feel like I've been waiting for this for a LONG time.
I just didn't want to look back in a few years and realize that I 'missed out' on having a wedding with all our friends and family there to celebrate with us. I have a huge family too, so I know what you're saying about it being a minimum of 100+ people. To me, having a big anniversary party in 5 or 10 years just isn't the same.
And I think that the house will come, when it is time. I have faith that it will happen eventually. But again, maybe I'm the fool!
This is all just my opinion and my thoughts though, you have to go with your gut feeling and do what is best for you & FH. And maybe in your case it is better to pick the downpayment for a house ....
LaurenF
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Re: Wedding Reception or a House?
I agree with PreshusSmurf. My FH thinks weddings are a huge waste of money and he kept trying to convince me that we should just use the money towards a downpayment on a house. My whole thing is that once you give up the chance to have a wedding, you can't change your mind later. I'm willing to give up the house for a few years so that I can have a wedding. With time, the house will come! Also, hopefully you can use your cash wedding gifts towards the purchase of a house!
SoontobeMrsH
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IMHO: I'd chose a home over a party... Well I'd try to get te best of both worlds, like buy the and have a small reception, evrn in the home or yard.. good luck
PreshusSmurf
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Posted by LaurenF
I agree with PreshusSmurf.
Whew! I'm glad to hear that someone agrees with me ... I figured there was a possibility I'd get flamed for my opinion!
Pencils
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House!
Personally, I'd buy the house. My fiance and I are having a very nice, but cost-conscious wedding, and are spending the rest on a house later next year. You can have a nice wedding and not spend $30,000 (or more) on it, you know. Our budget is $10,000 and we're sticking to it. We also just bought a new car, will have a nice honeymoon (not in that budget), and will buy a house next year.
However, it's your money, do what makes you happy. The only thing I find foolish is putting a wedding on credit. You could ruin your credit for life, and you will end up paying a lot more with finance charges.
Dee606
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Re: Wedding Reception or a House?
Posted by perfectpair
IMHO: I'd chose a home over a party... Well I'd try to get te best of both worlds, like buy the and have a small reception, evrn in the home or yard.. good luck
I totally agree with this suggestion. good luck making a hard decision
TakingtheLongWay
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Posted by sfmullen
I would get the house then have a big party at your house celebrating your wedding!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Great idea!!
snydl40
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I would love the house. But that being said, you can have a fairly reasonably priced wedding-maybe go upstate-not on LI, and the gifts you receive can be your down payment on a house.
AllJoy
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Re: Wedding Reception or a House?
A house in a heartbeat!
Trishthedish
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Re: Wedding Reception or a House?
Posted by sfmullen
I would get the house then have a big party at your house celebrating your wedding!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is what I would do.
My FH always says that we should have just taken the money to put down on a house as a downpayment but my parents offered to give us $10,000 for that. In my eyes, a wedding costs so much more than that and $10,000 just does nothing for a downpayment. Therefore, we are having a wedding that in the end is costing like $40,000, which is crazy. Also, we already own a condo so maybe that is why I feel differently too. I suggest to use that money as a downpayment on a house and then have an amazing party at your home celebrating your wedding.
Good luck with whatever you decide!!
Blu-ize
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Re: Wedding Reception or a House?
I've been married for a while and I loved my wedding but honestly if I would have had a downpayment on a house I would have taken it. We paid for our wedding and it was done economically. The cost of the wedding would have been half of a downpayment.
I would get the house and then plan a day to celebrate. get a dress, hire a photographer and have a pool party later with a BBQ theme. My friends did that and I was quite jealous! That was a great day!
rachel212
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Re: Wedding Reception or a House?
Definitely a house, but that's just me. It's your decision and you're the one that knows if you would regret not having a big wedding...but like the girls said before me, I would get the house and have a party in it to celebrate the wedding, or have the reception in your backyard if it's big enough. I love backyard weddings, and if mine was big enough, I would do that in a second.
evnme
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the house!
pixiechickie
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Re: Wedding Reception or a House?
I wouldnt be able to scramble up the money for a house like Im doing for this wedding. I know I have a deadline and we are doing everything we can to save. If it was for a house Im sure we could be more flexable. Im hoping the $$ from gifts will be a downpayment for a house.
Kara and Todd
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Re: Wedding Reception or a House?
Personally, I'd get the house UNLESS I knew I'd be able to get the house a year or so later... Otherwise, I'd take the house.
I'm lucky I can have a lovely wedding... but the marriage itself is far more important to me than the reception. I'd go with the house if I had to choose between the two, without question!
(To be clear, I don't think that those who are advocating for the wedding reception think the party is more important than the marriage. I don't mean that at all. I am just giving my reasoning for choosing the house in this situation.)
Mrs.Ptobe
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Re: Wedding Reception or a House?
What we did - we bought the house and waited a few years for the wedding. I do have to admit though - once you have a house there are ALWAYS expenses and sometimes one's you don't even anticipate. We bought our house 3 years ago when we got engaged. We are hoping to marry July 2007. Can't say we are incredibly financially prepared for the wedding, but we are getting a little help. I know it's not the best idea, but between gifts and a small amount on a low interest credit card, I'm sure we can pull off a budgeted wedding. Keeping it to 100 people hopefully. I can't say I would have been happy getting the house and never having a wedding... I know I'd regret that... but I was okay waiting for the wedding and most people understood what we were doing. A few didn't, but some people still don't agree with 'living in sin' either. Can't please everyone... in the end it was the smarter idea b/c now when we have kids we'll have the equity to buy a larger home on LI within a few years.
DavaDay
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Re: Wedding Reception or a House?
House. Your wedding day will be the happiest day of your life because you're marrying your favorite person, not because you're having an expensive party. The ceremony, and the party after it (because you KNOW you'll have a party regardless - even if it's just 15 people out for dinner at a nice restaurant with good food and a couple of bottles of wine) should be enough. I don't think you need to spend a ton of money to have a beautiful wedding day.
