Wedding Reception or a House?

Original post by Dibo2b

Dec 24, 2006 03:09 PM

I have always thought that this would happen and I always knew what my answer would be. Now that this decision needs to be made I'm not sure what to do....

I have been told that I can have a wedding reception or a down payment on a house....

Weddings do get very exspensive very quickly and they only last a few hours - a house is an investment in your future - but no one really gets to share that with you.... Both my fiance and I have LARGE families so even an intimate family only wedding we are still looking at close to 100+ people.

This decision has become harder then I thought it would be... Can anyone help give this some perspective or even tell me what you would do?
Thanks,
Totally Undecisive.

EastEndBride Posted: Dec 27, 2006 04:34 PM

Re: Wedding Reception or a House?

well the 'logical' thing to do is of course go for the house... but in matters of weddings, its much more about what's in your heart. just because you use the money now for a wedding does not mean that you will never have the money for a house, right? fh & I really struggled with this decision as well, but in the end we felt that we would regret not having a wedding. so our engagement is over 2yrs so that we have time to save, we're paying off the wedding ourselves without creating any debt, and it'll take us 2-3yrs more to save for our first home. that's fine to us. I don't need a house the day after I'm married. We have a great apartment now that we can afford, and there's even room for a baby. Go with your gut feeling, but remember you can have a wedding & still have a house down the line. You can buy a house anytime, but you'll never get back this special time in your life when you get to be a bride!

ewickens Posted: Dec 27, 2006 04:48 PM

Re: Wedding Reception or a House?

I got married 3 months ago and DH and I are in the process of entering house contracts within the next 24 hours.

Just my opinion here.....have the wedding. Every girl has a dream of wearing a white dress and have the wedding ceremony with their DH in front of all their family and friends and then partying until the sun comes up the next day. It's a dream come true, it's a mirage at times, but it's worth it in the end. DH and budgeted for our wedding and we ended up paying around $15k for everything, excluding our HM and this was for around 120 guests. And now we started house hunting in Nov and finally found a house we love and want to buy.

In today's market, $15K will only cover your closing costs. And depending on how much you and your DH make per annum, you could qualify for HUD mortgages, etc. You can still have both, but you need to work at it and budget and save. We did this throughout the wedding planning, and yes we said no to some things re: the wedding, we still had a great time with our family and friends celebrating our new begnning as a family. Not to mention, you'll get financial wedding gifts and this money can be put towards a CD to get interest on it and used towards closing costs or help on a downpayment on a home.

It's all very possible to have both dreams but IMO, don't sacrifice one for the other if you have always dreamed of both!

Meaghan729 Posted: Dec 27, 2006 05:11 PM

Re: Wedding Reception or a House?

HOUSE! definitely!

you can always have a very small, inexpensive wedding and then have a big bash to renew your vows when you have the $$$.

TheFutureMrsM Posted: Dec 27, 2006 05:18 PM

Re: Wedding Reception or a House?

I say a house, and even though i can be materialistic at times lol, its one night, and i could never justify spending alot on one night.

We did it backwards and bought the house first, then got engaged and then our wedding is in 2008. We are still young, 26 and 25. but also remember a house is alot of expense, just because you have a downpayment doesnt mean you will afford the mortgage or taxes or just the utilites for running the house. I think you have to look at your financial situation as whole before you can decide.

Personally i feel that 30k-50k is no where near enough money to put down on a 420k house. Your payments will be enourmous, but again i do not know your finances.

So if this is the case then you should do a small wedding and try to save up more for a larger down payment.

JMO

mcb916 Posted: Dec 27, 2006 06:40 PM

Re: Wedding Reception or a House?

House. Hands down. I loved my wedding, but if I had to do it again I would elope. Honestly my favorite part of the day was being in my dress. I could have done that anywhere and still felt amazing (and of course marry the man of my dreams ). Whenever I talk to anyone newly engaged I tell them to elope. To me, it's not worth the cost.

Tria1110 Posted: Dec 27, 2006 07:13 PM

Re: Wedding Reception or a House?

Posted by PreshusSmurf

Posted by LaurenF

I agree with PreshusSmurf.

Whew! I'm glad to hear that someone agrees with me ... I figured there was a possibility I'd get flamed for my opinion!

You are not alone! I agree... you can always buy a house but you can never re-live your wedding day. Others here have wrote 'its just a party, its just a few hours' but I know I would hate to regret the choice a few years from now....

Good Luck!

tbone66 Posted: Dec 27, 2006 11:19 PM

Re: Wedding Reception or a House?

If I were in your situation I would ask my parents for the $$ upfront and use 1/2 for the downpayment and 1/2 for the wedding and hold off on buying the house for a year or so.

JazzyT Posted: Dec 27, 2006 11:40 PM

Re: Wedding Reception or a House?

You always knew your answer but now you don't meaning that a wedding is probably more important to you than you orignally thought. I can't tell you what to do but I think faced with the same dilemma I would go for the house.

BubbasBride Posted: Dec 28, 2006 09:37 AM

Re: Wedding Reception or a House?

I stress about this on a daily basis. I am trying to do both. I desperately want to buy a house before we get married, but I want the wedding too. I am doing my best to keep all wedding costs down and save the bulk of our money for the down payment....

Like I said, daily stress....

DanNette Posted: Dec 28, 2006 09:42 AM

Re: Wedding Reception or a House?

Get the house! You can always have a big anniversary party that won't put you over the edge, $$-wise and you can keep things to a simple ceremony for the wedding. If my parents weren't taking care of things, this would be my option!

Bridex100 Posted: Dec 28, 2006 09:48 AM

Re: Wedding Reception or a House?

You can have a break even wedding. One of my friends had a wedding at the Metropolitan on a Sunday afternoon for $55 per person. She bought a dress for less than $1000, did her own make-up, didn't go crazy with flowers.

I think the average person gave her a $100 gift.

She ended up making money at her wedding.

There are many ways to save costs - Thursday, Friday, Sunday weddings, daytime weddings vs evening weddings, off-peak (Dec-Mar), etc.

Good luck.

MsDiva Posted: Dec 28, 2006 10:01 AM

Re: Wedding Reception or a House?

Easy choice...A house!!!! You can always have a wedding reception, but if you have the opportunity to get a down payment for a house you should go for it. I am a new home owner and it is the best, but it is also expensive, especially if you are considering LI. If we had someone to offer to give us a down payment on our house or pay for the wedding reception I would have jumped at the house offer. Now is the prefect time to buy too. It's been a sellers market for so long, but right now buyers have the edge.

Meaghan729 Posted: Dec 28, 2006 10:28 AM

Re: Wedding Reception or a House?

Posted by tbone66

If I were in your situation I would ask my parents for the $$ upfront and use 1/2 for the downpayment and 1/2 for the wedding and hold off on buying the house for a yea or so.

luckily for you your parents would be able to do that - not everyone is so lucky.

Kris10546 Posted: Dec 28, 2006 12:07 PM

Re: Wedding Reception or a House?

My fiance and I got into this argument last night and we are still mid-fight about it. My defense is that a wedding is something that can only be done once. I always wanted a huge wedding when I was growing up and even while we were dating, but now that I am here and presented with this situation, I know I can't have the $100,000 bash I have always envisioned. I am trying to do this conservately, but it's hard. So, you can only have a wedding once...buy a small home or a condo. I said to him last night, we can ALWAYS buy a bigger house, but we can NEVER have another wedding.

MrsMichel07 Posted: Dec 29, 2006 03:54 PM

Re: Wedding Reception or a House?

Posted by pixiechickie

I wouldnt be able to scramble up the money for a house like Im doing for this wedding. I know I have a deadline and we are doing everything we can to save. If it was for a house Im sure we could be more flexable. Im hoping the $$ from gifts will be a downpayment for a house.

I agree....

lmavolio Posted: Dec 29, 2006 04:10 PM

Re: Wedding Reception or a House?

No doubt about it - definitely a house!! I like the other idea of another poster where you have a party at your house after you move in. You can do some really elegant (yet inexpensive) things with home parties, so it doesn't have to just be a backyard bbq - even though that would be fun too....Take the house - you will not regret it!!