Wedding related job issues!

Original post by MrsTC

Apr 30, 2003 02:41 PM

I was offered a position (decent salary) this week. (I've been laid off since January). I just called the lady who offered me the position back - she hadn't told me much about benefits. I am not happy at all with the benefits. There would be a 90 day probation period - that is fine (standard). 6 days sick leave (after 6 months!). 2 personal days. No health insurance until September! And the biggest issue - she was not happy at ALL that I am getting married in Sept. I would get 10 days vacation after a year of employment (that's nuts!) and she wants me to tell her by this Friday what my wedding and honeymoon plans are. In other words, I would have to book my h-moon etc. by Friday just for her benefit. Most companies are not like this from an HR standpoint. Another thing is, she asked me if I was currently going to grad school, and I said no - and she was happy I am not currently (though I am planning on it-what would she do then- fire me??). I told my FH and he doesn't want me to take the job. How crazy is that? She was all happy to have me until I said I was getting married in Sept. (which I am CERTAIN) i told her in the intervew process. Would you take the job? (I'm currently temping at a friend's company which I like).

KarenK122 Posted: Apr 30, 2003 03:57 PM

Re: Wedding related job issues!

If you are financially strapped then I would take the job, but if you are able to make ends meet by your temping position then I would wait until a better offer came around.

If she is giving you grief before you even start working about your wedding and time you will need off, it will only get worse once you start. Remember you may need to leave early a few times or take a day off before the wedding, as examples, for dress fittings, final menu selections, marriage license and it doesn't sound like they would be too happy about giving you any extra time.

The economy is tough right now, but there are jobs out there and companies are hiring sparingly so I'm sure you'll find something you love soon.

Good luck!!!

Alvatorre74 Posted: Apr 30, 2003 04:47 PM

Re: Wedding related job issues!

I wouldn't take it..

Fletch Posted: Apr 30, 2003 05:00 PM

Re: Wedding related job issues!

Coming from a fellow HR person, my advice is to make the decision based on your financial situation and the vibe you are getting from this person. It sounds like she is demanding to much. It is very common for new hires to have already set plans for vacation time and most employers are flexible on this. They have the choice to not pay the peron for this time and all they need to do is make that known.

We also have the same wedding date!!

julybride444 Posted: Apr 30, 2003 08:39 PM

Re: Wedding related job issues!

IF they are this anal from the start, it's probably not a very positive work environment. Don't take it.

reallybehind! Posted: Apr 30, 2003 09:11 PM

Re: Wedding related job issues!

i agree with most of the other people, if you don't absolutely need it i wouldn't take it. i'm at a job i'm miserable at and i wish i could leave but financially i can't. trust me you don't want to be in the situation where you HATE going to work everyday, where you end up crying and angry etc. no job is worth that, imo. i would stick with the temping and keep looking. life's too short to be miserable at work, even if another job is months down the road. just my opinion though. good luck!!

holly231 Posted: Apr 30, 2003 09:22 PM

Re: Wedding related job issues!

I agree 1000% with reallybehind! I am now at a job that I HATE, despise, get angry, frustrated, upset too often, and hate to get out of bed in the mroning becasue I do not know how much theyar e going to throw at me or how much ruder than can be. I was a temp before, and I loved it, but I took the position permanent and all HE LL broke loose afterwards!! If you get a bad vibe from teh beginning, just imagein how much worse its going to get....I am staying at mine now only because we need the money and they pay my health insurance...so after the wedding, planning to get a new job!!!

MrsTC Posted: Apr 30, 2003 09:23 PM

Re: Wedding related job issues!

Thanks so much everyone!!

Fletch, from an HR perspective, I am glad you agree, normally we HR people are a bit more flexible.

Well, I came home today and was yelled at by my mother who thinks I am just being petty. I told her if she is going to be negative, don't bother telling me anything. I am just getting these weird vibes, and like someone said before (sorry i forget who!) there may be occasions i need to leave a little early for WR stuff, and it may be hard to do that. My fiance says he doesn't know what to tell me, we need the $ but he doesn't want to see me unhappy either. We can get by if I temp and who knows , I may find something else that feels 'right'. I don't know, it just feels like this is such an important time in my life and i don't want more drama to add to it. I have enough already!

I feel like it's time to do what feels right. Anyone get that feeling sometimes?

pschica Posted: Apr 30, 2003 11:07 PM

Re: Wedding related job issues!

hmm. this is tough one...what do you want to do? you ultimately have to live with the deicison, not us - is it a job you wanted before all this?? then maybe you can take it and see what happens - if it doesn't work out, go back to temping while you look but at the same time, if you were just settling then skip it - there is a better one out there for you!

MrsTC Posted: May 01, 2003 12:16 PM

Re: Wedding related job issues!

Well, after much deliberation, I am leaning towards taking it for $$ reasons. I am going to call and give the lady the days I need off (9/25-10/5) unpaid. I am going to ask her if this is acceptable, if not, then ADIOS!

sound good?

mv1003 Posted: May 01, 2003 01:59 PM

Re: Wedding related job issues!

I think taking the job is a wise decision.
I do not think offering to take the vacation time unpaid is something I would do. I would let them tell me I had to take it unpaid b/f I offered.

I have never worked at any place where they didn't give a new hire their already planned vacation the time off. (ESPECIALLY for a wedding)

Since you're getting a vibe from this woman though, just be on your guard at work. Feel her out, ya know????

Good luck!

JENHOS Posted: May 01, 2003 02:02 PM

Re: Wedding related job issues!

I agree with Michelle. I wouldn't offer to take it unpaid unless I have to. Feel it out.

Good Luck!!

HeatherandNick Posted: May 01, 2003 02:37 PM

Re: Wedding related job issues!

I would take the job, tell her the days off you need. But make no mention of taking the time as unpaid!

MrsTC Posted: May 01, 2003 02:43 PM

Re: Wedding related job issues! -UNBELIEVABLE

Get this-
I called the job offer lady. I told her the dates I would need are 9/25 through 10/5. She said it would be a major problem and she wished I would have told her this during the interviews (I did! -but whatever). She pretty much retracted the offer. So that solves that issue - oh well! Didn't need her anyway, prob would have been a nightmare to work for LOL!

HeatherandNick Posted: May 01, 2003 02:45 PM

Re: Wedding related job issues!

What a B I T C H

Fletch Posted: May 01, 2003 02:47 PM

Re: Wedding related job issues!

If HR treats you this way you def don't want to work for the company. HR represents a company during the interviewing process and this person obviouly didn't care about how she represented herself. You are better off.

soon2bmrs2004 Posted: May 01, 2003 07:04 PM

Re: Wedding related job issues!

I would not take the job. Sice all is fine other wise then wait it out.

alina Posted: May 01, 2003 07:07 PM

Re: Wedding related job issues!

You've definietly locked out on this one... How unprofessional. totally agree with fletch

atlastbride Posted: May 01, 2003 08:08 PM

Re: Wedding related job issues!

I am a recruiter and this is not the way I nor anyone else would treat a new hire. JMO, but I would steer clear. If you take the job and become so miserable that you are forced to quit to save your sanity, then you risk being seen as a 'job-hopper'. That is far more difficult to explain than why you continued to temp until the right thing came along. Best wishes to you and whatever you decide.