Well ladies..FH and I have done some serious talking..

Original post by kam0813

Feb 04, 2006 10:01 PM

After doing a lot of thinking and soul searching I realized that this wedding is turning into this thing that I never envisioned for myself. I wanted small and intimate on a beach with just our families and close friends but instead it turned into this 250 person monster. I'm not happy and my parents have given me a lot of problems and stress and grief because of this wedding. They've said a lot of things to me that are valid and make sense and it made me re-think my priorities and what i really wanted for myself, and I realized that this big wedding was never what I wanted. I was only doing it to please FH's parents (both their daughters never got married and probably never will) and everyone who kept asking us when we were having a wedding.

So finally I took FH aside and told him everything I just wrote and he understood and agreed with me. He only wanted a traditional wedding because that was the only kind of wedding he's ever been exposed too, but once he knew how I was really feeling he and I came to an agreement, we'd try to get our deposits back and if we could...we'd plan to have our wedding at Sandal's. If we can't get our deposits back well..we'd keep the wedding and everything exactly the same but cut down the guest list significantly.

I just wanted to let you ladies, my friends, know what's been going on and let you know why I haven't really responded as much to posts and what not. And I wanted to thank you all for your undying support and encouragement.

If anyone wants to book Fox Hollow for Feb. 9th, 2007 let me know! Maybe we can go there together and work something out with the people there so that way I can get my deposit back.

Also if anyone wants to use my vendors: Flower Michele, Royalty, Twelfth Night Photography, Wild Rose Videography, High Voltage. Also let me know, maybe, if I have difficulty getting my deposits back and you're interested in booking them they'll be willing to refund knowing you'll take the date.

Thanks everyone for listening while I vented.

Soon2BeMrsD Posted: Feb 06, 2006 09:48 AM

Re: Well ladies..FH and I have done some serious talking..

BTW...my original hall was in nassau..i cancelled a little of a year in advance ( i cancelled last week of october, the wedding was supposed to be in nov)...im STILL waiting for my money back, and they said they keep 1000 no matter what...and i dont get money back unless they rebook for equal or greater value...nassau county laws suck i hope you have better luck!!

Missladybug15 Posted: Feb 06, 2006 11:11 AM

Re: Well ladies..FH and I have done some serious talking..

I am happy that you talked to your FH about it Kam before too much time passed, I am proud of you and give you alot of credit for voicing your opinion, now you can relax and have the wedding you want!!

kam0813 Posted: Feb 06, 2006 10:30 PM

Re: Well ladies..FH and I have done some serious talking..

Posted by Soon2BeMrsD

BTW...my original hall was in nassau..i cancelled a little of a year in advance ( i cancelled last week of october, the wedding was supposed to be in nov)...im STILL waiting for my money back, and they said they keep 1000 no matter what...and i dont get money back unless they rebook for equal or greater value...nassau county laws suck i hope you have better luck!!

omg you should take them to small claims court! that's horrible! they definitely need that suffolk county law here in nassau to protect people like us

Nina Posted: Feb 06, 2006 10:31 PM

Re: Well ladies..FH and I have done some serious talking..

Kam so how is it going with the deposits so far?

kam0813 Posted: Feb 07, 2006 11:53 AM

Re: Well ladies..FH and I have done some serious talking..

Posted by Nina

Kam so how is it going with the deposits so far?

eugene is gonna contact the hall today he's just going to ask them if they would refund the money we've put down if we were no longer able to have our wedding there, if they say yes than I'm going to send them a letter that's certified with return receipt. That way if they give us problems and we have to take them to small claims court, I have proof that we gave them over a year's notice. I just hope that it doesn't have to go down that route.

chrissyandvin Posted: Feb 07, 2006 12:02 PM

Re: Well ladies..FH and I have done some serious talking..

I just can't get over how Beautiful that place is!!??? The beaches there are gorgeous!

Nina Posted: Feb 07, 2006 12:21 PM

Re: Well ladies..FH and I have done some serious talking..

Posted by kam0813

Posted by Nina

Kam so how is it going with the deposits so far?

eugene is gonna contact the hall today he's just going to ask them if they would refund the money we've put down if we were no longer able to have our wedding there, if they say yes than I'm going to send them a letter that's certified with return receipt. That way if they give us problems and we have to take them to small claims court, I have proof that we gave them over a year's notice. I just hope that it doesn't have to go down that route.

sounds good, keep me posted!!!!!

kam0813 Posted: Feb 07, 2006 01:24 PM

Re: Well ladies..FH and I have done some serious talking..

Posted by chrissyandvin

I just can't get over how Beautiful that place is!!??? The beaches there are gorgeous!

yeah we'd be going to Sandal's Whitehouse if we decide that Sandals is the way we want to go. There's another resort we were looking at the Royal Plantation...here's the link to the resort: Royal Plantation

We're also considering a place called Half Moon: Half Moon Resort

We also like a place in St. Kitts called Ottley's: Ottley's

Soon2BeMrsS Posted: Feb 07, 2006 01:39 PM

Re: Well ladies..FH and I have done some serious talking..

Kam,

Are they all - inclusive? Jas & I are looking in to some places in St. Thomas (& the other Us Virgin Islands)... Air fare to St. Thomas is about $486pp (info I got from Expedia) and Bahamas is $216.

Bahamas may be more affordable for our guest, but we love St. Thomas, so we're torn, just researching our options and planning mini vacations(5-day) to both....

Are you & Eugene planning any type of celebration for those that couldn't attend your wedding?

This is so ironic, that Jas & I have been exploring thois option for the past few weeks too...

Soon2BeMrsS Posted: Feb 07, 2006 01:42 PM

Re: Well ladies..FH and I have done some serious talking..

WE NEED A Destination Wedding Thread

chellynyc Posted: Feb 07, 2006 01:44 PM

Re: Well ladies..FH and I have done some serious talking..

Good luck getting your deposit back - you guys should do what you both want for your wedding - it's your day!!

kam0813 Posted: Feb 07, 2006 02:16 PM

Re: Well ladies..FH and I have done some serious talking..

Posted by Soon2BeMrs.S

Kam,

Are they all - inclusive? Jas & I are looking in to some places in St. Thomas (& the other Us Virgin Islands)... Air fare to St. Thomas is about $486pp (info I got from Expedia) and Bahamas is $216.

Bahamas may be more affordable for our guest, but we love St. Thomas, so we're torn, just researching our options and planning mini vacations(5-day) to both....

Are you & Eugene planning any type of celebration for those that couldn't attend your wedding?

This is so ironic, that Jas & I have been exploring thois option for the past few weeks too...

Sandals and Royal Plantation are all-inclusive..and we would absolutely have a celebration when we came home for the people who couldn't make it..we could never leave out the people we care about..we'd have something at like a knights of colombus or something like that..nothing big and fancy..and you're totally right we should have a destination wedding thread...tee-hee..also i have lots of links to different resorts and a destination bride book...let me know if you want the links and the title of the book

Soon2BeMrsS Posted: Feb 07, 2006 02:34 PM

Re: Well ladies..FH and I have done some serious talking..

Posted by kam0813

Posted by Soon2BeMrs.S

Kam,

Are they all - inclusive? Jas & I are looking in to some places in St. Thomas (& the other Us Virgin Islands)... Air fare to St. Thomas is about $486pp (info I got from Expedia) and Bahamas is $216.

Bahamas may be more affordable for our guest, but we love St. Thomas, so we're torn, just researching our options and planning mini vacations(5-day) to both....

Are you & Eugene planning any type of celebration for those that couldn't attend your wedding?

This is so ironic, that Jas & I have been exploring thois option for the past few weeks too...

Sandals and Royal Plantation are all-inclusive..and we would absolutely have a celebration when we came home for the people who couldn't make it..we could never leave out the people we care about..we'd have something at like a knights of colombus or something like that..nothing big and fancy..and you're totally right we should have a destination wedding thread...tee-hee..also i have lots of links to different resorts and a destination bride book...let me know if you want the links and the title of the book

Kam,

I would love both!! BTW: Do you know a rough estimate of how much it would cost to fly from NY to Jamacia?

kam0813 Posted: Feb 07, 2006 11:16 PM

Re: Well ladies..FH and I have done some serious talking..

Posted by Soon2BeMrs.S

Kam,

I would love both!! BTW: Do you know a rough estimate of how much it would cost to fly from NY to Jamacia?

Ok the name of the book (and so far its been very informative) is: Destination Bride: A Complete Guide to Planning Your Wedding Anywhere in the World by Lisa Light.

for what i see...to go to montego bay for 10 days in feb on travelocity it comes to roughly $800 for economy class on american, which isn't bad at all...i thought it was gonna be a lot more...to go into kingston would be roughly $660 ecomomy class on us airways...i couldn't find anything for negril though but i'm sure if you looked it up you could find something...

ok here are some websites for places that i looked at:

Ottleys

Ottleys looks gorgeous, its on the island of St. Kitts

Out Island Honeymoon

Out Island has links to a bunch of different islands, its a good source for info.

The Buccaneer

The Buccaneer is beautiful too, its on St. Croix UVI

Rex Resorts

A co-worker of my mom's got married at their St. Lucia Royal hotel..its really pretty and she said she had a fantastic time

Here are a few other links I have:
Hilton Caribbean
Grand Lido
Casa Natalia
(This particular place is actually in San Jose Del Cabo, Baja California, Mexico)
Karisma Hotels
Couples
Discovery St. Lucia
Ladera
Almond Resorts
Coconut Bay Resort

I hope this helps!

Soon2BeMrsS Posted: Feb 08, 2006 01:00 PM

Re: Well ladies..FH and I have done some serious talking..

Kam,

Thanks so much, & Good Luck!! I'm really happy that you & Eugene are getting the wedding of your dreams!!!

BTW: FIL's & some members of my family disagree w/ us having a destination wedding, b/c it would be hard for a lot of our guest...

o- well at least Jas & I will have 2 weeks in the tropics for our honeymoon

ntunison Posted: Feb 08, 2006 01:19 PM

Re: Well ladies..FH and I have done some serious talking..

you only do it once... so it should be everything you've ever wanted. good luck!

kam0813 Posted: Feb 08, 2006 06:40 PM

Re: Well ladies..FH and I have done some serious talking..

Posted by Soon2BeMrs.S

Kam,

Thanks so much, & Good Luck!! I'm really happy that you & Eugene are getting the wedding of your dreams!!!

BTW: FIL's & some members of my family disagree w/ us having a destination wedding, b/c it would be hard for a lot of our guest...

o- well at least Jas & I will have 2 weeks in the tropics for our honeymoon

FIL's disagree with us having a destination wedding as well but they said its our wedding and we have to do what makes us happy. I think it made them feel better when we said we were going to have a party for the people who couldn't come when we came back..And my family is happy about us having a destination wedding, we actually decided to get married in Puerto Rico, which is were my family is from.

kam0813 Posted: Feb 08, 2006 06:41 PM

Re: Well ladies..FH and I have done some serious talking..

Posted by ntunison

you only do it once... so it should be everything you've ever wanted. good luck!

thanks!

mka06 Posted: Feb 08, 2006 07:34 PM

Re: Well ladies..FH and I have done some serious talking..

Good luck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Soon2BeMrsS Posted: Feb 08, 2006 09:06 PM

Re: Well ladies..FH and I have done some serious talking..

Posted by kam0813

Posted by Soon2BeMrs.S

Kam,

Thanks so much, & Good Luck!! I'm really happy that you & Eugene are getting the wedding of your dreams!!!

BTW: FIL's & some members of my family disagree w/ us having a destination wedding, b/c it would be hard for a lot of our guest...

o- well at least Jas & I will have 2 weeks in the tropics for our honeymoon

FIL's disagree with us having a destination wedding as well but they said its our wedding and we have to do what makes us happy. I think it made them feel better when we said we were going to have a party for the people who couldn't come when we came back..And my family is happy about us having a destination wedding, we actually decided to get married in Puerto Rico, which is were my family is from.

Kam that's awsome I'm so happy for you!!