What advice would you give the 2010 brides?

This is awesome!! Thank you so much 2009'ers!!! All of the advice is greatly appreciated!!!

i would first ay..enjoy the engagement..it goes by so fast u may feel like u r 500 days away but it will be here b4 u know it

my best advice would be stay true to what and fh want..dont let anyone tell u this is not proper or this is not for a weddng..its ur day..not anyone else's.in the end it's you 2 who have the pics and the video and u want to see what u wanted not what other people wanted


forgot to add...when it gets too much..def have a day in the week when no wedding talk or planning is going on...just get back to being you and him...im sure every fh would appreciate it once n a while

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Posted by AdriandSteve

This is a great thread.

Thanks for starting it.

I have a silly request. Could one of you 09'ers send me your excel sheet so i could see how i'm setting it up? You can x out the $ amounts. I hear about all your detailed sheets and my budget sheet is totally bare! I kinda want to get an idea of what i'm in for.

TIA!

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Please send to me too!!! TIA

And thank you all so much for the advice!!! It's so helpful!

I have so many but here are a few key ones....

1. Dont over plan every little detail. You are working with professionals and you should be on top of them but also let them do the job you paid them to do.....mostly applies to the DJ. I gave him 2 artists not to play and then genres to play....a good DJ will play to the crowd and picks songs they seem to be reacting to......if you give an extensive 'must play list' they cant do this and you might as well have jsut used an Ipod.

2. Dont stress about the weather.....it is the one thing that is out of your control. A little rain or snow will not ruin your day.

3. Do not buy your dress to far ahead of time.....and if you do...stop looking at dresses after you order yours. You WILL second guess your dress cause there are always new ones coming out.

4. Try not to freak out on your BP. Yes you are the bride but I found the less I asked of them the more they wanted to help. And understand that while it is your wedding life does not stop around you and there will be scheduling conflicts along the way.

5. also just because people cant make the wedding does not mean they love you any less or that you arent important. Yes we tell them to save the date but things happen and peoples situations change. You will have a beautiful day with or without them and Im sure they are still thinking about you on your day even though they are not there.

I did stress along the way but also didnt get caught up in all the extras that other people were having so I think that took some of the stress away. Also since I paid the bills for the wedding the only opinion that matter was mine and DH's.

Here's a bunch of things that I've learned throughout this process, as well as from going through it with friends and family during their weddings:

1. Enjoy just being engaged for a while! Float on that cloud for a bit before diving into all the hectic plans. Get used to saying “my fiancée” instead of “my boyfriend”.

2. Speak with your FH about the type of wedding you both imagine for yourselves (NOT what either family or friends want). Determine what you can afford on your own and who you want there (not who you think you have to invite).

3. Speak to each family early in the process to determine what contribution and input, if any, they will have throughout, and set limits that you can stick to. ESPECIALLY in regards to the guest list! You will be amazed at how fast it can grow if you allow it to.

4. Set a priority list as far as what aspects of this whole event are most important to you – rank your major vendors (ie, hall, photo, music, dress, etc) for budgeting purposes. If you decide you have to splurge on one, then make up the difference on another. Also, if you find your dream hall but it’s a bit too expensive, determine if it’s more important to have that Saturday night you always wanted, or if you want that hall on a different day/season. Everything has to balance out in some way if you’re going to stick to that budget.

5. Bargain with ALL your vendors – they will come down on the price or add on extras. This goes for the hall, DJ, photographer, even on your dress and veil. EVERYTHING is negotiable.

6. Don’t spend too much time on DIY projects if this is not your thing. For all the time and frustration that comes with certain projects, it might be worth it to spend a little more to have peace of mind. Don’t nickel and dime on these issues – saving a few dollars is not worth the added stress in many cases.

7. Be VERY CAREFUL of who you ask to be in your bridal party. This is not the place to include everyone. It should be those that you’re closest with who will be there for you through thick and thin. Do not ask anyone because you feel obligated to if you really don’t want them there. Ask yourself, will you still be friends with this person in 10 years? 20 years? If not, think long and hard before asking them. You do not want drama in your bridal party.

8. Do not fight with your FH over little details that don’t matter in the grand scheme of things. Remember why you are doing this in the first place (you found the person you love and want to spend the rest of your life with). Be thankful to have each other, and pick your battles wisely. Compromise with each other.

9. Remember that the world does not stop spinning because it is your wedding. Everyone has their own lives, problems, and triumphs. Don’t expect everyone to be elated for you all the time if there is something bigger going on in their life. Your wedding does not come above major events in the life of someone else. Be happy and supportive for them, just as you would like them to be for you.

10. Enjoy your day and realize that not everything may be perfect or go exactly as planned. Don’t sweat the small stuff or things that you can’t control (like the weather). Enjoy every second of it – it’s over in the blink of an eye!

11. Lastly, book that honeymoon of your dreams, and go right after the wedding. This is the happiest time of your life, so make it last as long as possible, and go on that once of a lifetime trip if you can manage it. The opportunity may never present itself again as life gets in the way.

Thanks so much ladies...awesome advice!!!!

Hmm good question... here is my advice:

1) Book only with reputable vendors that have been around for a long time and do lots of weddings -- if it looks like they aren't getting too much business and you are getting a great deal you risk the chance of them going out of business.

2) Start planning early! Better to get it done and have it checked off than to be stressing at the last minute.

3) Spend more money on the things you will have for the rest of your life: pictures, video, wedding rings

4) Don't fight over the guest list - let parents invite whoever they want (within reason) bc the wedding is special for everyone and it only happens once.

5) Be good at your bachelorette party and don't do anything you might regret later.

6) Buy comfortable shoes!!!

7) Don't stress (easier said than done) and have fun -- the obvious one!

Thank you so much girls! the '09 brides are the best! Such great tips.
Definately notebooking this!

Don't let NERVES get to you the day of. I was SO nervous walking down the aisle that I don't think I even smiled.

I know everyone says the day goes SO fast, but it does so make sure to truly enjoy every second, no matter how tired you!!!

Oh, one more thing...

If you can try to wait at least a day or two after the wedding to leave for your honeymoon. I know this may not be possible for some of you but you are SO tired the day after. I think I slept the entire day after our wedding. I was SO glad we had two days before we left.

1. Have your hair and makeup people come to the reception. Im sure it will be a bit extra but I wish I would have done it. I dont like my pictures from the reception bc I was a mess by that point.

2. Look extra happy in your pictures. In many of my pics my smile looks fake and thats bc it is bc they are telling you to smile lol. So make sure to look truly happy.

Great advice.... Thanks girls

Don't care what anyone else thinks about you! If you want something that some people might sneer at, think is cheesy, or just plain weird, and you like it...just do it. In the end, it's YOUR wedding, and you need to be happy and be able to look back and say I owned that, and it was totally me.

Enjoy every wedding event while it's happening, even if there's drama before it and after it. I had such strife leading up to my shower, and there's mild strife after it now as a result, but during it I had a BLAST, so make sure that when it comes down to it, let everything go and just have fun.

It's very possible to still have a fabulous wedding on a 'modest' budget...don't feel like you need to go nuts with things just because you see other girls doing it! I should really heed my own advice, because I need scatter jewels for my tables like a hole in the head, but see point one....sometimes it's ok to cheat on things like that if it's something that will complete your vision!

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Posted by SoonToBeMrsR

Wait to pick your bridal party! There is more advice I would give, but I'll have to sit and put something together, but for now this was the biggest lesson, wit to pick your bridal party

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i learned that the hard way

Breathe & enjoy every moment of it b/c it is over in a heart beat. Also no matter what you WILL get it all done, and even if you don't no matter what it will still be amazing.

To remind yourself the wedding is just one day, the marriage is forever.

Use your time wisely. Dont wait till the last minute (like me )
Do NOT drive urself crazy with all the things you see on LIW. Focus on the things YOU really love and want and can have.
ENJOY every second of your wedding day. it really does go by super fast. take time to say hello to your guests but most importanly ENJOY IT!!!!

this is great thanxs.