WHAT AM I DOING WRONG rp from 06

buggiegirl Posted: May 16, 2005 10:56 AM

WHAT AM I DOING WRONG rp from 06

to preface: we sent out engagement announcements to all of the people who we will be inviting to the wedding but cannot for space and $$ issues have at our engagement party.

so last night fh's aunt tells me that my friend julia's mom was so taken aback and did not understand why we would send an announcement and how could we not invite her daughter...we are not even inviting this woman who we see maybe once a year at the restaurant she owns!! basically she said she thought the invitation fell out of the envelope but when fh's aunt explained it to her she thought it was so rude to send an announcement...

huh?

i sent my friend an email basically telling her i sent her an announcement not to be rude but to include her because i love her!

WHAT AM I DOING WRONG HERE???

I feel like there is always a freaking issue

ChrissynRicky Posted: May 16, 2005 10:59 AM

Re: WHAT AM I DOING WRONG rp from 06

I'm not really sure about other opeople, but until I started coming on the boards, I had NO IDEA what STD's were - neither did any of my friends or family. I think Engagement Announcements are a pretty new thing, as well as STD's. Engagement announcements are usually by word of mouth or in the paper, but I've never received an announcement w/out the party. We didn't have a party and won't be sending out EAnnouncements. You have to remember who you send them to, the ultra traditional people who are new to this or the ones that are up on the new trends.

Mrs. dleeny Posted: May 16, 2005 11:00 AM

Re: WHAT AM I DOING WRONG rp from 06

hmm, that is weird.

maybe she thought it was rude because in her opinion, sending an announcement is like asking for presents?

buggiegirl Posted: May 16, 2005 11:02 AM

Re: WHAT AM I DOING WRONG rp from 06

Posted by ChristineAEid

I'm not really sure about other opeople, but until I started coming on the boards, I had NO IDEA what STD's were - neither did any of my friends or family. I think Engagement Announcements are a pretty new thing, as well as STD's. Engagement announcements are usually by word of mouth or in the paper, but I've never received an announcement w/out the party. We didn't have a party and won't be sending out EAnnouncements. You have to remember who you send them to, the ultra traditional people who are new to this or the ones that are up on the new trends.

I hear what you're saying, but engagement announcements have been around forever- plus i just think it is so rude to voice it in the way t his woman did. the announcement was not even for her!! IMO even if you have never heard of it why would it be rude??

marymoon Posted: May 16, 2005 11:03 AM

Re: WHAT AM I DOING WRONG rp from 06

I set out engagement announcements and it turned into WW3. I wanted to send them out just to my most important immedaite family ( I have a HUGE immediate family, so it would have been impossible to call them all). Then FMIL kept bugging me to send it to more and more people and I just told her no, because we had JUSt gotten engaged, we were both still in college and we had NO idea as to the scale of our wedding, who we'd be be able to invite and I didn't want to send an announcement to her 3rd cousin twice removed if we couldn't invite them to the wedding. So it was this big thing, and FMIL told people tey'd be getting them and then people got mad when they didn't and FMIL blamed us saying 'well you were on MY list..they didn't want to send you one'...That REALLY pissed me off.

Like I have a LOT of people in my immediate family. If I invited the same distnace of relatives to the wedding on my side as she wants to ivnite on her side, we'd have EASILY 500 people at the wedding.

Look, you can't please everyone, but you didn't do anything wrond, you wanted to share your happy news. Even with a WEDDING it's common to send an announcement to people you could not invite

akajt98 Posted: May 16, 2005 11:04 AM

Re: WHAT AM I DOING WRONG rp from 06

We also sent out announcements to people who would be invited to the wedding, but we were unable to invite to the engagement party.

Don't get yourself crazy over this. You didn't do anything wrong.

buggiegirl Posted: May 16, 2005 11:06 AM

Re: WHAT AM I DOING WRONG rp from 06

thanks marymoon- that is what i thought!!

we have our lists all finalized-
there is the wedding list, and that is broken into 3 parts: his side list for eparty, my side list for eparty, and then all the people we couldn't invite got announcements. I thought I was being nice and including people...

oh well i hope i hear from my friend soon and thst he is not upset like her mom is

buggiegirl Posted: May 16, 2005 11:06 AM

Re: WHAT AM I DOING WRONG rp from 06

Posted by akajt98

We also sent out announcements to people who would be invited to the wedding, but we were unable to invite to the engagement party.

Don't get yourself crazy over this. You didn't do anything wrong.

thanks!

melissaandsean Posted: May 16, 2005 11:30 AM

Re: WHAT AM I DOING WRONG rp from 06

Posted by buggiegirl

thanks marymoon- that is what i thought!!

we have our lists all finalized-
there is the wedding list, and that is broken into 3 parts: his side list for eparty, my side list for eparty, and then all the people we couldn't invite got announcements. I thought I was being nice and including people...

oh well i hope i hear from my friend soon and thst he is not upset like her mom is

I did the same exact thing. Some of the older people didn't 'get it' but whatever. It's done now and over. You can't make everyone happy!