What are you calling or call your fil's?

Original post by nrvbrd

Nov 22, 2002 01:38 PM

Do you think that you have the type of relationship with your future inlaws to call them mom and dad?

What do you and fh call each others parents?

It is 'Mom and 'Dad' for me.

Jeanene Posted: Nov 22, 2002 02:05 PM

Re: What are you calling or call your fil's?

I've called them 'Mom and Dad' since we became engaged . They sign their e-mails to me 'MAD' for Mom and Dad

dgtlsunshine Posted: Nov 22, 2002 02:07 PM

Re: What are you calling or call your fil's?

Thats so sweet. I don't call my ILs anything b/c I don't call them

IrishTracy Posted: Nov 22, 2002 02:08 PM

Re: What are you calling or call your fil's?

Everyone & their mother call my FMIL by her first name. And until about a year ago I've called her Mrs. XXX. She finally told me to stop doing that & to call her Eileen. But I have a tough time with it. (respect of elders type of thing) She lives in Ireland so I don't see her that often. And when she calls I just say 'Hi how are you!!'

sept20yay! Posted: Nov 22, 2002 02:09 PM

Re: What are you calling or call your fil's?

I don't know.... If I call them by their first names, I won't feel very much like a family. My husband will call them mom and dad and my future kids will call them grandma and grandpa and I'm calling them Barbara and Michael??? I want the set-up to be a close-knot, cohesive family --- i don't know.... Confusing....

VickiC Posted: Nov 22, 2002 02:14 PM

Re: What are you calling or call your fil's?

I call them Mom and Dad. Have been for years - it was just easier, especially trying to get their attention in a crowded room.
He also calls my parents Mom and Dad, and he seems ok with it. I think it was a little uncomfortable at first since he had always called them Mr. & Mrs.

eroxgirl Posted: Nov 22, 2002 02:19 PM

Re: What are you calling or call your fil's?

My FH is already calling my mother mom and she loves it. He's afraid to call my father dad. I might call his mother mom but his father will always be Tony - I call his grandmother Grandma but so does everyone. My best friend said she always wanted that kind of relationship where she could call her inlaws mom and dad but her MIL told her she thought it was silly that people did that so she just uses their first names.

antoinette Posted: Nov 22, 2002 02:20 PM

Re: What are you calling or call your fil's?

i try not to call them anything when we were dating- saince we are married i asked his mom what she would prefer- she said- mom but that it would be hard to here someone calling her mom on that note i'll say her first name. And his dad called the other day and said 'Hi this is your husbands father' - i said hi- ***!!

LisaT Posted: Nov 22, 2002 02:25 PM

Re: What are you calling or call your fil's?

This is a dilemma for me (we've been married for 7 months and I haven't called them anything yet).

Before the wedding they were Mr. & Mrs - I was never instructed otherwise. My parents asked Al to stop the Mr & Mrs thing with them when we got engaged - he could call them by their first names or mom & dad. He went with mom & dad.

His parents are called Mommy & Poppy by the kids and their spouses. I cannot get mommy to come out of my mouth for my MIL. Popppy's easier. So, I've been avoiding calling them anything (easier since we're in CA). I got a birthday card from them signed 'Angie - your mother in law'. Does that mean I can go with Angie? I know I can't do that Mr & Mrs thing anymore but how do I switch without some direction from them?

I fear she'd be terribly offended (she's like that) that I don't call her Mommy, but come on! Thats what I called my mom when I was 5!

nrvbrd Posted: Nov 22, 2002 02:28 PM

Re: What are you calling or call your fil's?

I didn't think this topic would get such a huge response.

For those who are uncomfortable with the mom/dad thing don't do it.

I think these things vary from culture to culture.

WishCandy Posted: Nov 22, 2002 02:33 PM

Re: What are you calling or call your fil's?

I call fmil by her first name, but my fi is trying to get me to call her mom since he calls mine that. Personally, I think it's disrespectful to my own mom who I think is on a totally different level to me than his mom.

Ronnie&Theresa Posted: Nov 22, 2002 02:36 PM

Re: What are you calling or call your fil's?

Has anyones FMI ever say..

You can call me mom?

Diane Posted: Nov 22, 2002 02:38 PM

Re: What are you calling or call your fil's?

I started this on another site. I LOVE my in-laws a lot, but I only have 1 mom. I called my MIL mom once and I felt very weird.

nrvbrd Posted: Nov 22, 2002 02:39 PM

Re: What are you calling or call your fil's?

I don't think my fmil ever told me to call her mom, but she always refers to me as her daughter.

We are very close, so I feel comfortable calling her mom.

Claud2001 Posted: Nov 22, 2002 02:39 PM

Re: What are you calling or call your fil's?

Ugh...this is a difficult one for me too. I thought that I would be okay with calling the in-laws Mom and Dad after the wedding, and for a little while, I was.

But, b/c of the way I get treated and some things that have gone on, I just cannot get Mom and Dad to come out of my mouth! I have never called them Mr & Mrs - it was always first names. But, since I had been calling them Mom and Dad for awhile, to go back to first names now would be weird for all.

My Mother is my only 'Mom' and b/c my Mom is SO IMPORTANT to me, I can't seem to call MIL the same thing. That's NEVER going to change. My biological father is not part of my life, but I call my stepfather by his first name (which happens to be 3 letters long, and a fine substitution for Dad ). But for this reason, I seem to handle calling FIL 'Dad' a little better.

So, my solution to the MIL problem came up when my son was born. MIL asked to be called 'Grammie' so that she is distinguished in the child's mind from my Mom, who was always going to be called 'Grandma.' So, now when I write MIL emails, or talk to her, I either leave out the salutation completely, or write/say 'Grammie.'

Latina511 Posted: Nov 22, 2002 02:39 PM

Re: What are you calling or call your fil's?

I call them by there first name. My FI asked me when was I going to start calling them by MOM and Dad. I told him that I don't fee comfortable and he understood. Since both my Mom and Dad have been decease for some years now it just sounds funny to me.

DaniRN Posted: Nov 22, 2002 02:40 PM

Re: What are you calling or call your fil's?

I still call them Mr&Mrs 'soandso' even after 6 yrs of dating. After we're married I don't know what i'll call them, I feel funny calling them mom and dad so maybe i'll use there 1st names. I'm sure his mom would love if I called her mom (she always wanted a daughter-lol).

LisaT Posted: Nov 22, 2002 02:42 PM

Re: What are you calling or call your fil's?

Claudine - that was my plan! Avoid calling them anything for a few years and then start using Nonna and Oppa when the kids come! (I guess I can still use that now when Al's nieces and nephew are around)

lilmrs Posted: Nov 22, 2002 02:44 PM

Re: What are you calling or call your fil's?

Making the adjustment to calling them mom and dad

Marcela1654 Posted: Nov 22, 2002 02:45 PM

Re: What are you calling or call your fil's?

I call them by their first names. But his Dad asked me to call him Dad, but I just feel weird doing it. So I've tried not to call him anything (LOL). But I probably will call him Dad after we get married. FH calls my parents by their first name, but calls my grandparents abuelo and abuela (which is grandfather and grandmother in spanish).