Brides Helping Brides ™ - What are you doing about work people?

leese Posted: Sep 29, 2005 08:48 AM

What are you doing about work people?

8 months ago it was so easy for me to tell someone 'just invite who you want' from work to the wedding.

But now that I need to finalize the guest list, I am so nervous!

Here are the options:

1. Just invite my two bosses (both men) and their spouses.

2. Invite 2 bosses plus my three secretaries (whom I am very friendly with - they know more about my life than my best friends!!! hahah) I would feel bad inviting the bosses and not the girls.

3. But then that leaves out 2 people in my immediate group. One I hate - and yes - I've always told people not to invite anyone they don't want to.... but I literally WORK WITH this one person and he is kinda powerful. But then.... there are others in the building that I like MORE.

I am definitely leaving this job within a year but still..... I have literally grown up here, fell in love with my FH while working here, became an executive here..... It's very emotional!!!

What would you do? And what are you doing?

Preshy7 Posted: Sep 29, 2005 08:51 AM

Re: What are you doing about work people?

INVITING 4 PARTNERS (WHOSE NAMES MAKE UP MY COMPANY)
MY IMMEDIATE BOSS, 2 JR PARTNERS, AND MY 4 FRIENDS AND THEIR DATES

SO 20 PEOPLE IF EVERYONE SAYS YES

leese Posted: Sep 29, 2005 08:53 AM

Re: What are you doing about work people?

Posted by Preshy7

INVITING 4 PARTNERS (WHOSE NAMES MAKE UP MY COMPANY)
MY IMMEDIATE BOSS, 2 JR PARTNERS, AND MY 4 FRIENDS AND THEIR DATES

SO 20 PEOPLE IF EVERYONE SAYS YES

wow!

see, i need to keep this low b/c we have too many people as it is....

i feel like it's a slippery slope.....

kissy27 Posted: Sep 29, 2005 08:55 AM

Re: What are you doing about work people?

I am inviting my 2 bosses & their spouses, 3 of my coworkers with their wives...

Considering I work for a small company, it is easy to invite everyone

In your case, it is difficult but you need to invite people that you deal VERY closely with everyday. You don't want to leave 1 of them out of the group, bc that would just not be a good thing to do....Even if you don't like that one guy, bite the bullet, you won't see him much that night anyway!

SIBride06 Posted: Sep 29, 2005 09:00 AM

Re: What are you doing about work people?

Im inviting all the other assistants (like me) the 3 guys I work for & my boss. Im pretty tight witht he girls here at work.. I cant imagine NOT inviting them. One woman I work for broke off her engagement, so she refuses to attend anything wedding related function. Shes bitter anyway. I cant stand her.

Better off without her.

Im so rotten. lol

tracy2246 Posted: Sep 29, 2005 09:02 AM

Re: What are you doing about work people?

If I am still where I am-I will invite my 2 bosses and a few co workers whom I get along with very well. In my experience with invites and co workers-no one really talks about it because you never know who was not invited-so only invite who you want.

chikita315 Posted: Sep 29, 2005 09:06 AM

Re: What are you doing about work people?

I'm having issues with this as well.

I was going to invite:

1. 2 Peers (with dates)
2. My Director (whom I'm very friendly with)

But, that leaves out my real boss and he's very sensative. So, I almost feel like I HAVE to invite him.

I'm still confused as to what to do about him.

There are a couple of people here who I've become very friendly with and feel a little bad that I'm not inviting them. But, if we recieve a few early NO's I'll probably invite them.

I don't know if that helped or confused you more. Sorry!

hsacks23r Posted: Sep 29, 2005 09:12 AM

Re: What are you doing about work people?

I read someplace you should always invite your 'boss' adn only co-works that you have out of office relationships with so I am only inviying 3 from the office--one girl who is in my dept. I dont like and so I willnot be inviting her.

JessicaM. Posted: Sep 29, 2005 09:26 AM

Re: What are you doing about work people?

I am inviting a few co-workers that I consider friends. fh has a bigger problem in his firm. we are definitely inviting his 5 partners and their wives (only a few will come and probably stag) but he has friends there and people that he would feel bad NOT inviting b/c's he's been there 7 years....his list keeps growing though...it's almost to 30

we are inviting most of them...and keeping fingers crossed that some say no.

edited to more directly answer your issue-

it is a sticky situation with this guy if he has any sway over you....do you think if you invited him out of pure courtesy (which if he knows you dislike him should be obvious) that he would do the right thing and decline, or say yes just to spite you?

you could also ask anyone you invite to keep tightlipped about it....and just openly invite the big wigs......

leighdvm Posted: Sep 29, 2005 09:34 AM

Re: What are you doing about work people?

For my full-time job at the law firm -- I'm inviting 3 partners that I work for and their wives. Also 2 girls I am close with, along with their husbands.

For my part-time job at the animal hosp., I am inviting the 2 doctors and their wives, and 3 girls that I like.

Basically, who I work for, and a few friends....that's it.

FormerlyKnownAsQ Posted: Sep 29, 2005 09:39 AM

Re: What are you doing about work people?

I have to (yes HAVE TO per my mother and stepfather whom I work for) 7 co-workers + their spouses.

leese Posted: Sep 29, 2005 09:40 AM

Re: What are you doing about work people?

Posted by JessicaM.

edited to more directly answer your issue-

it is a sticky situation with this guy if he has any sway over you....do you think if you invited him out of pure courtesy (which if he knows you dislike him should be obvious) that he would do the right thing and decline, or say yes just to spite you?

you could also ask anyone you invite to keep tightlipped about it....and just openly invite the big wigs......

Well, I only have one 'real' friend here - he is invited but works in another department.

But the 'guy' I am not fond of - he isn't my boss, he is a colleague - a direct colleague. we do the same thing. It's just that he's powerful outside of where I work and could help me/hurt me later on.

I just feel like it's a slap to him if I invite all the secretaries and my two bosses and then not him... It's like all or nothing.

ACK! I need to call my former boss to ask her opinion!

M&S Sept12006 Posted: Sep 29, 2005 10:12 AM

Re: What are you doing about work people?

This is really a tough one and now that you mentioned it HOLY CRAP what am I going to do??...my group consists of 5 guys (3 of whom I work for) and 1 paralegal and a secretary... I am close with the other paralegal and with 3 of the guys I work for (I like my boss but I am not close with him the way I am with the other guys...also he is Jewish (Orthodox) and very strictly observes the Shabbat and since my wedding is on a Friday he will most likely not attend)...I am having a small wedding (about 75 guests, mainly family and close friends) and was planning to invite only the other para I work with and another secretary from another dept...would that be wrong?

ETA: Im thinking that my best bet is to opt not to invite anyone...that way no feelings are hurt...they all ask me about my wedidng planning etc...so I know if I invited them they would all come! I dont have any more room! I have people coming from Europe for crying out loud...and at this point I cant even upgrade to a bigger room...

MayBride06 Posted: Sep 29, 2005 10:14 AM

Re: What are you doing about work people?

Not sure who I am inviting form work yet. Thsi is why I did not send STD's to work people! Why let the gossip start earlier than necessary. Let's face it, with the cost of weddings now, people at work should not assume they are invited and should get over it if they are not. God I hate this part!

kellwolfe Posted: Sep 29, 2005 10:20 AM

Re: What are you doing about work people?

I think that this is a hard one ...I have 1 really good friend at work - so she is a def. there is another girl here that invited me to hers so i have to ...and then just my boss...thats the way its looking now

I work for a small company but last year the pres. of the company got married and she only invited 2 people .....and she has been working with a few people for 11 years so if she can get away with it with all her money i dont see why i cant ....

leese Posted: Sep 29, 2005 10:24 AM

Re: What are you doing about work people?

Posted by MayBride06

Not sure who I am inviting form work yet. Thsi is why I did not send STD's to work people!

Neither did I - just in case. And neither did my FH.

mtdr1106 Posted: Sep 29, 2005 10:41 AM

Re: What are you doing about work people?

as of now - i only have on my list my 5 'lunch buddies' - we are a mish mosh from various depts.

i am not inviting any bosses (though it seems you may be higher on the corporate food chain) i am an executive assistant - and i am not even inviting my boss. i like her - but years ago i worked for a man who was invited to someone in the offices wedding - and he described it as an 'obligation' to go. i do not want ANYONE to feel obligated - so that is why i just stuck to my work friends - i know they genuinely care about my wedding and would enjoy every facet of my party.

hope it helps...........

smurray Posted: Sep 29, 2005 10:42 AM

Re: What are you doing about work people?

Our office is very big, but my department is only w/ three people. So w/ that in mind I'm only inviteing my boss, and the two other people in my department.(They all understand were trying to save money, so they have sadi they're coming alone, not to mention they don't get along w/ their spouses everyday(if you know what I mean)