What do I do??

Original post by 2BeAMrs.

Sep 11, 2005 06:29 PM

My FH's BM called to say that he doesn't want to go to the bachelor party being planned for FH because he is not into strip clubs, etc.

My FH is sooooooo upset that his BM doesn't want to be there for him. What do I do- Aside from ripping BM's eye balls out????

2BeAMrs. Posted: Sep 11, 2005 09:17 PM

Re: What do I do??

Posted by Future_Mrs_B

If your FH really wants him there then why not just skip going to a strip club. Does he have to go to one? I mean I know that one of FH's BM wanted to take him to one and FH said he didnt want to and they dropped it at that. Why cant your FH just plan something else?

That makes total sense in your FH's case because he personally didn't want to go. But my FH kinda does - as a last hoorah with some buddies, including my brother and BIL.

I guess, FH will just have to deal with BM not being there. He'll have fun anyway!

littlebookworm4 Posted: Sep 11, 2005 10:22 PM

Re: What do I do??

Posted by dleeny

going to a strip club is not for everyone. my FH hates them.

besides, he could have a wife or girlfriend who is opposed to it.

is there something else that they can do so the BM wouldn't be left out?

my fi and i are same when it comes to this. it's not for everyone and when it comes to planning them or going to one we've always come right out in the beginning and said that we wouldn't go if that's what it was. it's just not our thing. maybe he can join them before or after if they're doing something else as well and he can just skip that part?

2BeAMrs. Posted: Sep 11, 2005 10:27 PM

Re: What do I do??

Posted by littlebookworm4

Posted by dleeny

going to a strip club is not for everyone. my FH hates them.

besides, he could have a wife or girlfriend who is opposed to it.

is there something else that they can do so the BM wouldn't be left out?

my fi and i are same when it comes to this. it's not for everyone and when it comes to planning them or going to one we've always come right out in the beginning and said that we wouldn't go if that's what it was. it's just not our thing. maybe he can join them before or after if they're doing something else as well and he can just skip that part?

That's what we're are hoping he will do. Thanks!!

ssdbk Posted: Sep 12, 2005 01:30 AM

Re: What do I do??

There really should be a dinner or something not tittie related. How many hours do they need tittie for anyway? The GM should go to the dinner. Also, I suspect this is a $$ issue. Bachelor parties are expensive. In all of the ones my FH has gone to, a few of the guys end up with the burden of paying. It usually happens that some guys don't bring enough. The guys that have $$ on them want the groom to have a good time, so they fork over more cash.

Mrs.Z Posted: Sep 12, 2005 07:54 AM

Re: What do I do??

Posted by Love_my_Freddybear

There is nothing he can do but to except it. Maybe BM will come around. Does the BM's girlfriend have anything to do with this????? Maybe so.
Didn't BM have anything to do with the planning????
It's just a little weird, I think there is more to it. B/c even if he wasn't into strip bars, he can s*ck this one up b/c it's his friends BP!!! The night is about your FH not BM and I am sure he knows that. JMO but I think there is more to it, like another party involved...AKA HIS WIFE/GIRLFRIEND!!!!!

I agree, one of my DH GM 'didnt want' to go to strip club, later we found out his wife gave him holy HE@@ about going

girlygrl33 Posted: Sep 14, 2005 09:17 PM

Re: What do I do??

Posted by 2BeAMrs.

The point was not about the strip club, but that his BM should be there for him regardless of the location.

I'm not going to argue with you over the internet on what's sleazy and what's not. That is just silly..................

Dont you'd be wasting your breath there!

that does suck, FH BM/BF wont be there for him cause it wont be the same. I dont think its that hes gay either- b/c FH gave him the option of going out to dinner and golf and he still said no, some guys just really really hate those kind of places and dont want to spend their hard earned money on the girls there, or maybe its that someone HE doesnt like is going to be there- and doesnt want to be around them- 1 of the guys.

nylibride Posted: Sep 14, 2005 09:31 PM

Re: What do I do??

I don't understand why he wouldn't want to do golf and dinner (unless it's a $ thing) that is hurtful.

however, I totally understand someone not wanting to go to a strip club. It really does offend some people, and some people don't want to support that industry or the way it degrades the people that work in it. I don't think he should have to suck it up for a night if he's really against it. There are SO many other things guys can do together for bachelor parties. And it is not a trust issue with significant other, I think it's sleazy, gross, and really degrading to women.

girlygrl33 Posted: Sep 14, 2005 09:35 PM

Re: What do I do??

I posted above , I really really think it has to do with some of the guys that are going!

FunBride Posted: Sep 15, 2005 09:39 AM

Re: What do I do??

why is your fiance having a bridesmaid? i'm so confused.

you should respect the 'BM's' decision to stand up for himself and not join a strip club. your FH should plan something else everyone wants to participate in.

DAVALJO2 Posted: Sep 15, 2005 10:11 AM

Re: What do I do??

well that's his porogative. Its not like he's not going to be part of everything else. Just try to respect his decision. Maybe he and your FH can do something else together.

DAVALJO2 Posted: Sep 15, 2005 10:11 AM

Re: What do I do??

Posted by FunBride

why is your fiance having a bridesmaid? i'm so confused.

you should respect the 'BM's' decision to stand up for himself and not join a strip club. your FH should plan something else everyone wants to participate in.

BM also stands for Best Man

2BeAMrs. Posted: Sep 15, 2005 10:17 AM

Re: What do I do??

Well good news has come. BM called last night to say he was in on the golf and dinner!!! And I was happy to see a smile on FH's face.

I probably should have edited my first post saying that dinner and golf was the 'pre-game', this way it would have been a little less confusing.

In anycase, thanks Ladies for your input!!

mable Posted: Sep 15, 2005 04:07 PM

Re: What do I do??

My FH is not into it either but they are having 2 parties,, one of a day of paint balling and then another of gmabling and boobs,,
one friend is a recovering gambler so he wants them all to have fun and now they are doign both..