What do you think is the secret...

I think it is patience, communication, commitment, and love

Realizing nothing is perfect and letting go of all the small stuff.. B/C in the long run.. it doesn’t matter.. It the BIG things.. that is what gets you throw the long hard years..

L-O-V-E.

I know it sounds naive and simplistic, but its true.

Communication, honesty, love, respect and friendship.

This is definitely going to sound corney on my part (so don't get used to it) - hehe.

I can only think of my parents when presented with this question. They've been married 28 years and have enjoyed every last second it is.

What I've picked up 'here and there' and advised of are as follows:

1) NEVER assume anything, your mind will only make matters worse. Confront your partner with honesty and respect (innocent until poven guilty) and everything will be at ease.

2) NEVER go to sleep or to work angry at each other. If you have to stay up later than expected or come into work late - so be it. Always deal with an issue right then and there b/c then number one (above) will occur and you might end up taking it out on someone else and/or it will eat away at you all night and day - and there is nothing worse than something eating away at you like that.

3) Saying small things such as 'Please' 'Thank You' 'I Love You' 'What's your Opinion on this' will keep it strong. You have to respect one another no matter how long you've been together.

4) No matter how many children you have, make it a point to do things alone at least once a month. My parents go on 'dates' once a month, and they've been doing it since I can remember. They get away, even if it's for an hour from everything going on and enjoy being a married couple (almost like newlyweds) for a little bit.

5) Don't let others interfere with your business. If it's 'family' business or issues, involve only immediate family and no one else. Your ordeals are private and others do live off of others' weaknesses.

6) If there are problems before a marriage that need to be dealt with - deal with them ASAP. A marriage does not 'solve' anything. All those problems before hand, magnify 100x's through a marriage. So, if your FI picks his nose and wipes it on the couch and it annoys you, confront him NOW, don't think he'll 'change' through marriage. Can't teach an old dog new tricks.

7) COMPROMISE and INVOLVEMENT - Don't make decisions for one another. Always involve your spouse in any and all decisions. Even if it's buying a handbag and it's with your own money and you think it doesn't affect your spouse, it does. Share everything and keep each other involved. It keeps things fresh and reduces the amount of 'secrets.'
(Note: I constantly don't involve my FI in my buys - shame on me - but I have a serious handbag and shoe addiction that he's slowly discovering - OH BOY!)

Compromise - on everything. Meet each other half way - if there is no half way - make one that will allow the both of you to settle your issues and come to an agreement.

easy- PICK YOUR BATTLES

if it wont be important tomorrow, dont fight about it. bottom line

TRUST
COMMUNICATION
LOVE
RESPECT

My grandparent were married 49 years when he passed away from a brain tumor. Before he died, my Pastor asked him the secret to a happy marriage and without hesitation he said, 'Infinite patience and understanding!'
To this day 7 years later, when my pastor talks to the couple on the altar about to get married, she always tells them this story and gives them that advice. That will be a very special part of my ceremony!

Christine.. That was awesome.

Well said!

my great-grandparents were married 73 years (until great grandpa passed away a few years ago). They always said it was communication!

I have to add a side note, i love that my great-grandma is still a live and kickin strong. She went to Hawaii for two weeks last year and las vegas this year. She's 96

When I got engaged and older woman (who's been married 35+ years)in my office gave me one piece of advice:

DON'T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF. She says arguing is natural, but if you pick and nag over every little thing you'll never stop arguing. More importantly, if you pick and choose your battles your husband is more likely to listen to you. But if you argue over every little thing...he'll just begin to think you a nag.

Of course there are other ingredients...trust, loyalty. I'm not saying those aren't important...but this is one that might not get mentioned too much.

Got to admit...planning this wedding...I AM SWEATING THE SMALL STUFF I GOT TO LEARN TO LET THINGS GO

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Posted by franksgirl323

When I got engaged and older woman (who's been married 35+ years)in my office gave me one piece of advice:

DON'T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF. She says arguing is natural, but if you pick and nag over every little thing you'll never stop arguing. More importantly, if you pick and choose your battles your husband is more likely to listen to you. But if you argue over every little thing...he'll just begin to think you a nag.

Of course there are other ingredients...trust, loyalty. I'm not saying those aren't important...but this is one that might not get mentioned too much.

Got to admit...planning this wedding...I AM SWEATING THE SMALL STUFF I GOT TO LEARN TO LET THINGS GO

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Hey you know theres a book called 'Dont Sweat the Small Stuff in Life'...its an awesome phychological book...

Love, FRIENDSHIP, communication, respect..all are very important, but none of them are sustainable without forgiveness and and having the ability to let things go.

Not keeping secrets .....

Communication, appreciation , respect, understanding

I'm proud to say my grandparents celebrated their golden anniversary back in '97, they're truly an inspiration to me. I look at them and wish all couples shared the happiness that they have, that's why it meant so much to me that they approved of my FH.

Communication is def important. Which is kinda funny, my grandmother gets so upset when my grandfather doesn't hear her (he's 83 y/o!).

Seriously tho, it's about being equal partners and sharing everything through the good and the bad. Respecting and understanding one another. Keeping things fresh and new, let excitement into your everyday lives.

Sure the flowers, candy, and bling is nice but I think a big hug and kiss is much more valuable. It's not about monetary gifts, but being there for one another. Appreciate one another. It's OK to argue, but never go to bed mad, always say good night and I Love You.

Keeping all the things that 1st made you fall in love alive in the relationship.

My parents have been married for 42 years, I have talked to my mom about this, and since I have been divorced, i know what NOT to do. ALthough I was a very good wife, and my ex husband would do anything to have me back in his life now. I enabled a lot of his problems. I ignored too many things, just closed my eyes, and before I knew it, my marriage was too far gone to save. We are good friends still, and our divorce was smooth, and there is still a lot of love, but there was wayyy to much irreprable damage done to save a Marriage. Anyway, so what my mom says is there were actually times she didn't want to be married to my dad, and she is sure that there were times that my dad wanted out too. But each one carried the other through those rough patches. There has to be equal effort, and they love each other so much, you have to realize that you will come through these bad patches, and there is light at the end of the tunnel, not to let money, jobs, material things end a marriage, because that is not the foundation of it anyway, it's about love, committment, family. SO now they are older, and sitting in those rocking chairs on the front porch together, and more in love than ever....ALthough if I have to see them make out ONE MORE TIME, I will puke, they are so lovey dovey, my dad is always grabbing my mom's butt...it's hysterical, like two tenagers again, now that we are all out of the house!