FSIL has the reputation for being quite difficult. Unfortunatley she is a BM. When we told her last year that we were not having small children at the wedding, she said she would not attend without her 3 year old. Fine, we gave in. She and her husband has since split up.
Today, she asks me, since she will not be bringing a date for the wedding, could she bring a babysitter to watch her daughter at the wedding. This is 5 minutes after she tells me she cannot afford to give us a gift, which, believe me, is more than fine, I totally understand her situation. But now we are expected to pay for a complete stranger, so she doesn't have to watch the child she refuses to come without?!
I said okay, just because I am in not mood to argue. But the more I think about it, the more I am like, 'WTF??'.
Does she have nerve, or am I just being a bridezilla?!
nferrandi
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Re: What do you think of this? (mini vent)
I would have to say I agree with you, she sounds pretty ballsy. I think you should 'nicely' point out to her that you don't feel comfortable paying for stranger to attend your wedding. I'm not sure why she even needs someone to watch her daughter if she's going to have plenty of family there and will be solo.
sophie78
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Re: What do you think of this? (mini vent)
Wait!!!!!!! She wants to bring the kid so badly, but doesn't want to watch him????? I would imagine that the babysitter counts as a vendor meal??
July2004Bride
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Re: What do you think of this? (mini vent)
That's not right... why can't she have the babysitter watch the child at home??
wenndypoo
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She wants to bring the kid so badly, but doesn't want to watch him?????
Yeah Andrea, my thoughts exactly! It's a control issue, like everything else with this girl.
wenndypoo
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That's not right... why can't she have the babysitter watch the child at home
Yep, again, a control and attention issue.
Gotta love the in laws.....
nehaliasz
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Posted by am470
Wait!!!!!!! She wants to bring the kid so badly, but doesn't want to watch him?????
That makes no sense to me at all!!
Baldshrimp
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Re: What do you think of this? (mini vent)
Wendy
What does WTF mean ? Hehehehe Only kidding.
How old is the kid? We are having kids at our wedding because alot of the couples we are inviting have them. YOU AREN'T HAVING KIDS SO WHY SHOULD YOU BE EXPECTED TO LET SOMEONE BE THE EXCEPTION.
Now that they have broken up she expects you to invite a perfect stranger to your special day? Well to that I simply have to say ' Would you invite a stranger into your house ? HELL NO
She should use her brain
Maybe she'll come to her sense and see how much an inconvienence this is for you.
I know you are trying to be the better person but honestly what you can't take back is something as special as your wedding. Alot of people will say it's ' Her Day ' .
As the groom I have to say it's only her day if you make it.
I hope it all works out in the end and if she does end up coming with the kid, and babysitter.
For me I'm not inviting my brother, simply because he has to show me up and acts like an ***. It goes way beyond that and I know I'm gonna get heat from this but it's my day too and it wouldn't be fair to have my parents watch him. He's 27 now and should be able to have some respect and common courtesy for others, especially ME
FM me if you want to vent some more.
Best Wishes to the both of you,
Thomas
PS MEAGHAN SAYS HI
kathleenmarie
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Re: What do you think of this? (mini vent)
That sound VERY strange. I had to tell my nephew he couldnt bring his two children and my brother he couldnt bring his girlfriends child. We ARE having a ton of kids, but they are all either involved in the bridal party, or babies that we dont have to pay for. Its hard and uncomfortable to deal with these situations, and I know we have to pick our battles, but I am determined to make this MY wedding, and I was willing to have them not come if that was the case. The point to my long story..............Dont let anyone push you around. you are NOT being unreasonable on this one!
RedHead
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Re: What do you think of this? (mini vent)
I commend the way you have handled the situation.. I agree with you but let's face it, she is going to be family and i just wouldn't start rocking the boat over this issue...
But i think she is quite rude.....And i hear you on the in law issue...
NYCHICK
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O absolutely not.........people have got some real nerve. I would have to put my cards on the table for this one. She has no money to get you a gift, yet she is going to put added stress on you by bringing her daughter(in most cases kids don't count towards your minimum), and bringing a babysitter(complete stranger and has no right to be eating on your tab). There is no way I would allow this because it seems a bit advantageous. If you want to bring the child so bad you HAVE to watch him. Poeple are soo silly sometime.............
OctGroom
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Re: What do you think of this? (mini vent)
wow.. i admit.. I don't have the guts to be so 'nervy'.. seriously.. she is asking WAY too much. I thik she needs to understand that this is YOUR Wedding and she should be there for you.. not for you to be there for her. JMO
razz1031
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Posted by July2004Bride
That's not right... why can't she have the babysitter watch the child at home??
My thoughts EXACTLY! I mean, I know you said money isn't an issue but if she brings a babysitter, that's another plate you have to pay for too, right? I'm sure the babysitter isn't going to bring a gift?!
Baldshrimp
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Re: What do you think of this? (mini vent)
What she probably said to the sitter was that she would eat a great meal for free so she wouldn't have to pay her. WTF. I still vote HELL NO
I'm sorry you have been put in this situation
Best Wishes,
THomas
eogara
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Re: What do you think of this? (mini vent)
Wait, I have a question - what does your FH have to say since this is his sister?? IMO, he's the one who should have to say to her 'Hell no!', not you! This girl's got some nerve!!
PrincessRose
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I agree, this woman REALLY has balls. Has FH said anything?
Bacardi527
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How about she should respect your wishes and pay a babysitter to stay at home with the daughter- people kill me this is your special day-
Donna
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She has some nerve. Another option, why can't the child stay with the dad? Then there's no need to pay for a babysitter.
Jax430
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Tht is absolutely ridiculous. First of all, if you don't want kids there, she shouldn't be bringing one, but if she really wants a babysitter to watch the child, SHE should pay for her, not you! My sister is bringing my 1 1/2 year old nephew to the wedding, and is hiring a babysitter who she is paying for herself. We will provide her with a meal, but that's it. There are also a couple of elderly people at my wedding who have personal attendants. Again, WE aren't paying for them! I think you should point out to her, nicely, that if it is going to be a hassle having the child there, maybe the babysitter can watch him/her at home. I do not think there is any way you should be responsible for paying.
wenndypoo
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Re: What do you think of this? (mini vent)
Thanks for your input everyone. I'm trying to be reasonable, but that one took the cake!
Fh hit the roof when I told him. He's going to say something to her.
If it's not this, it will be something else. This girl is determined to make it about her somehow! GRRRR!!!
Thomas - thanks for your support! How's the planning?
