what does 'can't afford a ring' mean?

Original post by Rodiah

Mar 30, 2007 09:39 PM

I was reading the topic about the girl who's friend does not have an engagement ring and It made me wonder what exactly does 'can't afford a ring' mean? Does it mean that the guy is so poor that he does not have money for anything other than the necessary or does it mean that he cannot afford the ring that the girl wants??

I know a lot of guys who have girl pressuring them for a ring and they are very specific about the carat and the cut, etc...

The reason I ask is because my FH asked me to marry him 10 years ago when I was 19 and he bought me a small gold ring with a heart and a teeny tiny diamond and I said 'yes' and the ring did not matter.... We didn't start planning a wedding tho, we were young and my mom called it a 'promise ring'

but he could 'afford a ring'... technically..

He proposed this summer 'officially' as he calls it, with the big diamond and the platinum band... My FH and I always knew we were going to get married but he felt this time was official because he was proud to give me this ring. I didn't even look at my ring until people started with the questions; 'how many carats', 'platinum or white gold' and he answered before I could even say, 'oh, I don't know'..

but he didn't have to change my ring, ofcourse, I never asked him

I don't think you need a ring to be engaged but you don't have to have an extravagant ring... it can be a small gold band with a gold heart...

So when someone says a guy 'can't afford a ring', can he really not afford a ring or can he just not afford the ring that she wants????

opting not to have a ring is fine, I agree with the majority of people that it depends on the couple and if they are acutally making wedding plans, etc...

but am I wrong to assume a 'ring' can always be afforded?

Pencils Posted: Mar 31, 2007 05:43 PM

Re: what does 'can't afford a ring' mean?

I think it means 'can't afford the ring I want/he wants/we think people expect us to have.'

This thread really blows my mind. Do parents really raise their kids not to accept anything under 1 carat? My mom doesn't even have an engagement ring--they eloped, and had no money back then anyway. And they've been happily married for 45 years. My parents only wanted me to find someone that I truly loved and who truly loves me back, and someone who values himself and me enough to earn enough to pay the bills. Nothing in there about being rich. And maybe it's because I'm rather older than the average bride, but I don't give a **** what others might think about my relationship when they look at my beautiful, but non-diamond ring. My ring is exactly what I wanted, and I wouldn't trade it for anything. The strength of a relationship is not judged by the size and clarity of the engagement diamond. A guy who cheats might buy his fiancee a really huge diamond to dazzle her eyes and confuse her emotions. But I wouldn't marry someone like that for the Koh-i-noor.

You can have a great marriage without a diamond ring or a big wedding. And isn't it the marriage that's the important thing?