my nephew (who most of you know by now is staying with us while his mom parties her life away) well I just finished pottytraining him and he is doing great UNTIL his Mom calls ...he talks to her and then hands me the phone and poops and pees right there and then he screams and cries
so I clean him and hug him and tell him its ok and things are fine.....my SIL takes him for a sleepover at her house and she told me he talked to his mom and then pooped in his pants right after that
Its like she scared the sh*t right out of him literally could that be possible???
jantany26
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Re: what does this mean and is it a coincidence?
omg, i think the poor little boy is traumatized. can you get him to go to some sort of theraphy?
lolita4life
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Re: what does this mean and is it a coincidence?
aww poor kid. maybe he gets nervous around her and cant control himself? i honestly ahve NO idea. 's to him
holly231
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Re: what does this mean and is it a coincidence?
He must fear her. She musta done something so bad to him that makes him fear her & because of it, regresses to being a baby.
I am no expert, but my cousins daughter, who is now 5, has virturally no relationship with HER mom...but when s her mom does come by, his daughter reverts back to baby talk, goo goo gaa gaa poo poo pee pee talk, and it is impossible for us to understand her. Theya re just getting her into counseling etc..but as far as the research shows, she shows childhood depression, and it just breaks my heart to know she has experienced so much in her short life.
Goldi1021
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Re: what does this mean and is it a coincidence?
I would do your best to have the child evaluated. I venture to say that you could get Early Intervention Services for free. try contacting your local school district office and ask them for help. This child is fragile. You are incredible for helping him too. Talk to as many people as you can.
LImom
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Re: what does this mean and is it a coincidence?
This is no coincidence. The boy needs help. I didn't read what you posted in the past, but this is absolutely not normal behavior. Please start talking with a pediatrician and then get a referral for some intervention. It sounds to me like he was abused and is terrified of him mother. I don't think this is something that you should be handling on your own.
MamanDaddyof2
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Re: what does this mean and is it a coincidence?
well actually her ex boyfriend who isnt my nephews biological father but lived with him since he was a few months old told my MIL that he has seen more than any 4 yr old should have in his lifetime It is so sad
LImom
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Re: what does this mean and is it a coincidence?
Posted by MamanDaddyof2
well actually her ex boyfriend who isnt my nephews biological father but lived with him since he was a few months old told my MIL that he has seen more than any 4 yr old should have in his lifetime It is so sad
One can only imagine what that means!!! God bless you for taking him in. I didn't realize he was old enough to be in school. Please go immediately and talk to a counselor there and have a pediatrician see him as well. Tell them all everything you know and get this child some help. He is definitely traumatized. What other symptoms are you seeing? Does he eat and sleep well? Does he have nightmares? Does he socialize with other children or communicate openly with adults. All these are things you should be taking notice of and should be ready to convey to those you will be meeting. Keeping a journal on him will probably prove to be helpful. Sometimes bits and pieces don't make sense on their own, but together they often help a great deal.
Jax430
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Re: what does this mean and is it a coincidence?
This is absolutely not a coincidence. Children who have been traumatized display their trauma through enuresis and encorpreisis (urinating and defecating in places other than the toilet). Talking to his mother likely stirred up major anxiety in him, causing this reaction. From everything you have shared with us, this little boy should be in weekly play therapy with a licenced child psychologist. He needs professional intervention.
Best of luck with him. You are doing a wonderful thing by giving him such a loving home.
MamanDaddyof2
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Re: what does this mean and is it a coincidence?
He will be 5 yrs old in 2 weeks and he weighs less than my 3 yr old (34lbs) He needs a lot of attention and he is very whiny but we are just giving him the love he needs right now so hopefully that helps At first he told me that if he drinks water when his tummy hurts then the pain goes away (hunger pains) so I told him if he eats food it goes away and now he eats like he never tasted food and has already gained 2 lbs He tells me he never wants to go home.....
Jax430
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Re: what does this mean and is it a coincidence?
Posted by MamanDaddyof2
He will be 5 yrs old in 2 weeks and he weighs less than my 3 yr old (34lbs) He needs a lot of attention and he is very whiny but we are just giving him the love he needs right now so hopefully that helps At first he told me that if he drinks water when his tummy hurts then the pain goes away (hunger pains) so I told him if he eats food it goes away and now he eats like he never tasted food and has already gained 2 lbs He tells me he never wants to go home.....
It's amazing that he says that. I work with foster children, and even those who have experienced abuse often say they want to go home and live with their parent(s). I have a feeling that this child has experienced more than any of us can imagine. He is going to need major support to succeed socially and in school.
MamanDaddyof2
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Re: what does this mean and is it a coincidence?
I NEVER ask him about home because he doesn't bring it up but a few times he was fighting over a toy with my daughter or I said no he couldnt do something and he cried Mommy Mommy and I said you want Mommy and he said NO dont call Mommy I dont want to go home ...and then he will grab my thigh and hug it so tight and I just tell him he doesnt have to leave and everything will be ok
I do know that she left him in daycare for 20 hours and they called the police to get him and they had to get her ex bf to pick him u[p or he would have to go to a foster care for the night
Jax430
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Re: what does this mean and is it a coincidence?
It is a sad commentary on our social services system that he was not removed from his mother's care ages ago.
Do you and your husband have legal custody of him, or is this just an arrangement with his mother?
ETA: He is going to need to express himself about the events he has experienced, and is going to need a professional to help him do it.
Feel free to FM me if you want. I am getting my doctorate in school/clinical child psychology, and I'm currently working in a foster care agency, so I have some experience with abused children.
MamanDaddyof2
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Re: what does this mean and is it a coincidence?
she was supposed to send us a notorized letter that says we have permission to get him medical attention if need be....she never sent it
she packed hm 3 shirts that were too small and a pair of shorts
so we went out and bought him a new wardrobe and underwear instead of pullups and socks that fit
I definitely want to see if this will be a permanent thing or what but right now I dont know what to do I guess we will see
Danielle
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Re: what does this mean and is it a coincidence?
I feel so bad for this poor little boy--but Thank God you are there for him-- I hope she never gets custody of him again (maybe that wouldn't be good for you--but it's probably the best thing for him!!)
I think he definitely needs help--and he will need it before he goes to school and has to deal with other children!
t
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Re: what does this mean and is it a coincidence?
you should still speak to a lawyer or a professional to see if there is a way you can get some sort of custody under the circumstances. You have a strong hold on the situation just dont let it go. Good Luck with him.
tourist
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Re: what does this mean and is it a coincidence?
I was just thinking about your nephew on my way in this morning. Please do keep us updated.
I know it may be difficult to get him help since you don't have legal custody or that notorized letter, but maybe your kids' pediatrician will have some advice for you.
It is great that he is eating & is potty trained for the most part.
However long you are able to keep him will definitely do so much good.
MrsERod
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Re: what does this mean and is it a coincidence?
Leighann, God Bless you and your DH for caring for this child. It breaks my heart to even imagine what this poor baby has been through. Thank GOD for you and your DH.
Jax430
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Re: what does this mean and is it a coincidence?
I went to sleep last night thinking about you and this little boy.
My concern is that his mom is going to want him back, and since you don't have any legal custody and it's not a foster care situation, you will have to give him up and he will go back to his old life with her. In my opinion, he should have been removed from her care long ago. I know there are so many issues for you and your husband to think about, and it must be somewhat overwhelming, but you should think about what you will do if that situation does arise. Will you fight to prevent him from being reunited with her?
Also, if she doesn't give you the papers allowing you to provide him with medical care, she can be charged with medical neglect. Are you going to be able to enroll him in school without her signature?
swags1016
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Re: what does this mean and is it a coincidence?
God Bless you both for doing right by this little precious boy. It sounds like he is definitely traumatized!!!! I agree with the girls that you definitely need to get him some professional help. But you need to contact a lawyer ASAP, you have no legal documentation giving you him and no medical consent form. Both could be potentially very bad. God forbid something should happen to him and he needs medical treatment or to get him into therapy you need that. The other thing is with out some kind of documentation giving you permission to have him, she could turn around and take him back at anytime! That is not fair to him. Please contact a lawyer ASAP.
