What is your worst sex escapade?

It can be plain ol sex, oral sex, monkey sex lmao WHATEVER. Before we bring in the holidays we need a bit more perversion.

Mine was definetly sex with Pete in the woods. It was awesome because the thrill of getting caught was HOT BUT then i realized some of the heat wasn't from his passion....but from the fire ants that crawled up from log I was against and bit me in th @ss....

Nature Diva I am NOT!

Okay I have a confession. For my baccalaureate party we went pole dancing. It was awesome and the best workout I have ever gotten. At my rehearsal dinner a friend of ours bought us a pole as a joke. So when we returned home from our honeymoon, my husband put up the pole and I was going to show him my moves. So he put it up and I did my thing. I must have gotten one swing around the pole until it collapsed crashing me into the corner of my four post bed. I ended up cracking my head open and needed to get staples in my head. Needless to say, my husband thinks pole dancing is the least sexist thing ever.

on our trip to Vegas one year we got this wonderful suite at the MGM grand... well it had a great jacuzzi tub . we filled it up , and yeaaaaaaa... well it just wasnt working out with the angles of the tub...

omg i have the story to end alllll stories---but i think it might be a little TMI and gross ppl out and get this thread moved!

Okay I have a confession. For my baccalaureate party we went pole dancing. It was awesome and the best workout I have ever gotten. At my rehearsal dinner a friend of ours bought us a pole as a joke. So when we returned home from our honeymoon, my husband put up the pole and I was going to show him my moves. So he put it up and I did my thing. I must have gotten one swing around the pole until it collapsed crashing me into the corner of my four post bed. I ended up cracking my head open and needed to get staples in my head. Needless to say, my husband thinks pole dancing is the least sexist thing ever

OMG, OUCH!!

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Posted by gonzo23456

Okay I have a confession. For my baccalaureate party we went pole dancing. It was awesome and the best workout I have ever gotten. At my rehearsal dinner a friend of ours bought us a pole as a joke. So when we returned home from our honeymoon, my husband put up the pole and I was going to show him my moves. So he put it up and I did my thing. I must have gotten one swing around the pole until it collapsed crashing me into the corner of my four post bed. I ended up cracking my head open and needed to get staples in my head. Needless to say, my husband thinks pole dancing is the least sexist thing ever.

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O M G!!!!!! I am so glad you are ok. Thats some scary stuff. But since you obviously are ok i will take a moment and...

LMAO thats worse than the time I ended up flipping off the bed from certain position, kickign DH in the face and busting his lip and giving myself a black eye on the hamper lid I carelessly left on the floor.

Ah the things we do for looove.

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Posted by MJDoc12

omg i have the story to end alllll stories---but i think it might be a little TMI and gross ppl out and get this thread moved!

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Oh come on Mel. If they move it we will fidn it again! LMAO. Post!

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Posted by gonzo23456

Okay I have a confession. For my baccalaureate party we went pole dancing. It was awesome and the best workout I have ever gotten. At my rehearsal dinner a friend of ours bought us a pole as a joke. So when we returned home from our honeymoon, my husband put up the pole and I was going to show him my moves. So he put it up and I did my thing. I must have gotten one swing around the pole until it collapsed crashing me into the corner of my four post bed. I ended up cracking my head open and needed to get staples in my head. Needless to say, my husband thinks pole dancing is the least sexist thing ever.

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OMG!!! I'm sorry But I am ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!

thank god your ok

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Posted by HeatherRose

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Posted by gonzo23456

Okay I have a confession. For my baccalaureate party we went pole dancing. It was awesome and the best workout I have ever gotten. At my rehearsal dinner a friend of ours bought us a pole as a joke. So when we returned home from our honeymoon, my husband put up the pole and I was going to show him my moves. So he put it up and I did my thing. I must have gotten one swing around the pole until it collapsed crashing me into the corner of my four post bed. I ended up cracking my head open and needed to get staples in my head. Needless to say, my husband thinks pole dancing is the least sexist thing ever.

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OMG!!! I'm sorry But I am ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!

thank god your ok

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The best was trying to explain to the nurses and doctors at the hospital how it happen. I am a flake!

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Posted by gonzo23456

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Posted by HeatherRose

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Posted by gonzo23456

Okay I have a confession. For my baccalaureate party we went pole dancing. It was awesome and the best workout I have ever gotten. At my rehearsal dinner a friend of ours bought us a pole as a joke. So when we returned home from our honeymoon, my husband put up the pole and I was going to show him my moves. So he put it up and I did my thing. I must have gotten one swing around the pole until it collapsed crashing me into the corner of my four post bed. I ended up cracking my head open and needed to get staples in my head. Needless to say, my husband thinks pole dancing is the least sexist thing ever.

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OMG!!! I'm sorry But I am ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!

thank god your ok

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The best was trying to explain to the nurses and doctors at the hospital how it happen. I am a flake!

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i was wondering how that story went

Do share what you told them

Uhm DH is a stalker so I plead the fifth!

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Posted by HeatherRose

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Posted by gonzo23456

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Posted by HeatherRose

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Posted by gonzo23456

Okay I have a confession. For my baccalaureate party we went pole dancing. It was awesome and the best workout I have ever gotten. At my rehearsal dinner a friend of ours bought us a pole as a joke. So when we returned home from our honeymoon, my husband put up the pole and I was going to show him my moves. So he put it up and I did my thing. I must have gotten one swing around the pole until it collapsed crashing me into the corner of my four post bed. I ended up cracking my head open and needed to get staples in my head. Needless to say, my husband thinks pole dancing is the least sexist thing ever.

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OMG!!! I'm sorry But I am ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!

thank god your ok

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The best was trying to explain to the nurses and doctors at the hospital how it happen. I am a flake!

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i was wondering how that story went

Do share what you told them

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I told the hospital that I fell off my bed and bumped by head against the post. The hospital did not believe me and kept saying, 'tell us the real story, you are Newlyweds!' I told my parents the same story and they did believe me. iguess everyone figures that newlyweds are freaky!

WHen we were in SC we always went and walked on the beach at night. One night DH joked about how my favorite drink was sex on the beach and we should do it....anyway shortly after we start going at it ont he boardwalk (it was out of season so no one walked on it) I kept getting this feeling like we were being watched and DH kept saying no dont worry, shortly after lights came on and it was 3 security guards....I grabbed my **** and jumped over the guard rail and benches. After they left (obviouslywe were being watched, b/c they had gotten phone calls) I realized that I had splinters up and down my back, scratched up my thighs by jumping the guard rail, i also had sand spurs all over....NOT FUN and very hard to explain to MIL why I had sand spurs on my ***, thighs and between my legs...oh did I add these things are very fine and practically invisible awful...i will never do that again

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Posted by gonzo23456

Okay I have a confession. For my baccalaureate party we went pole dancing. It was awesome and the best workout I have ever gotten. At my rehearsal dinner a friend of ours bought us a pole as a joke. So when we returned home from our honeymoon, my husband put up the pole and I was going to show him my moves. So he put it up and I did my thing. I must have gotten one swing around the pole until it collapsed crashing me into the corner of my four post bed. I ended up cracking my head open and needed to get staples in my head. Needless to say, my husband thinks pole dancing is the least sexist thing ever.

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O

M

G

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Posted by PegaLega

WHen we were in SC we always went and walked on the beach at night. One night DH joked about how my favorite drink was sex on the beach and we should do it....anyway shortly after we start going at it ont he boardwalk (it was out of season so no one walked on it) I kept getting this feeling like we were being watched and DH kept saying no dont worry, shortly after lights came on and it was 3 security guards....I grabbed my **** and jumped over the guard rail and benches. After they left (obviouslywe were being watched, b/c they had gotten phone calls) I realized that I had splinters up and down my back, scratched up my thighs by jumping the guard rail, i also had sand spurs all over....NOT FUN and very hard to explain to MIL why I had sand spurs on my ***, thighs and between my legs...oh did I add these things are very fine and practically invisible awful...i will never do that again

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That's hysterical! Big brother is always watching!

I think I've told this one before....

Here is a funny story of mine. DH and I were at my parents house and we were making guacamole (my mom was on her way back form the store). Well you know what goes in guacamole ight?? Avocados, garlic, tomoato, cilantro, red onion, JALAPNEOS!!! Well, when we were done we started fooling around and after a few minutes things started getting 'warm' down there And then it started to BURN BABY BURN....OH MY GOD....It was horrible and then DH started to burn and we started freaking out and we knew my mom was on her way home and we couldn't figure out what to do. So he gets the brilliant idea that lemon will kelp get rid of the burning. SO we start rubbing lemon down there...and IT MAKES IT WORSE

So we both jump in the shower and are soaping like crazy and my mom gets home....yeah and we are both in the shower together.

Eventually the burning subsided but I was sooo sore down there for weeks

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Posted by PeteysBride

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Posted by gonzo23456

Okay I have a confession. For my baccalaureate party we went pole dancing. It was awesome and the best workout I have ever gotten. At my rehearsal dinner a friend of ours bought us a pole as a joke. So when we returned home from our honeymoon, my husband put up the pole and I was going to show him my moves. So he put it up and I did my thing. I must have gotten one swing around the pole until it collapsed crashing me into the corner of my four post bed. I ended up cracking my head open and needed to get staples in my head. Needless to say, my husband thinks pole dancing is the least sexist thing ever.

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O M G!!!!!! I am so glad you are ok. Thats some scary stuff. But since you obviously are ok i will take a moment and...

LMAO thats worse than the time I ended up flipping off the bed from certain position, kickign DH in the face and busting his lip and giving myself a black eye on the hamper lid I carelessly left on the floor.

Ah the things we do for looove.

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Ouch. Both of those stories sound painful, but they are funny.