What is your worst sex escapade?

the worst thing I can remember lol.....is me & DH back in the first year we were dating, we went up to the Catskills, we were staying in a hotel, and we were doing the dirty deed while standing up and I'm leaning against the wall w/ my legs wrapped around him.....well since we were drinking I guess DH just didn't have as much control as usual, he freakin' drops me ON MY HEAD!!!! My first response was 'owwwwww' lol, but then I got up and couldn't stop laughing, he felt so bad but he was laughing too

Gonzo your story is so funny!! and I love how your friend gave you the pole at your RD!!! glad you're ok though!!!

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Posted by gonzo23456

Okay I have a confession. For my baccalaureate party we went pole dancing. It was awesome and the best workout I have ever gotten. At my rehearsal dinner a friend of ours bought us a pole as a joke. So when we returned home from our honeymoon, my husband put up the pole and I was going to show him my moves. So he put it up and I did my thing. I must have gotten one swing around the pole until it collapsed crashing me into the corner of my four post bed. I ended up cracking my head open and needed to get staples in my head. Needless to say, my husband thinks pole dancing is the least sexist thing ever.

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I was wondering if you were going to post this

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Posted by PeteysBride

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Posted by MJDoc12

omg i have the story to end alllll stories---but i think it might be a little TMI and gross ppl out and get this thread moved!

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Oh come on Mel. If they move it we will fidn it again! LMAO. Post!

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ALRIGHT....i'll post

seriously this is hilarious and just gross at the same time.

worst and most embarassing moment in my LIFE!


so i hooked up with this guy--(pre -- DH days) brought him home and we were going at it. now i was trying to be all super porn star and show him my moves, and i was like clenching and releasing my PC muscle down there(that you clench when u stop the flow of your pee).....so that it would drive him wild (which it did---he was loving it)

welllllllllllll...unfortunately i was clenching and pushing a little TOO hard----and the next thing i know---i start to PEE on him!!!! i tried to stop--and hes on top and he says 'what is that?' and before i say anything he says 'oh thats so hot---your c**ming on me! oh yeah!' he didn't realize it was PEE!

afterwards he got up and showered---and then i think he realized what happened.

needless to say i never saw him again.

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Posted by MJDoc12

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Posted by PeteysBride

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Posted by MJDoc12

omg i have the story to end alllll stories---but i think it might be a little TMI and gross ppl out and get this thread moved!

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Oh come on Mel. If they move it we will fidn it again! LMAO. Post!

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ALRIGHT....i'll post

seriously this is hilarious and just gross at the same time.

worst and most embarassing moment in my LIFE!


so i hooked up with this guy--(pre -- DH days) brought him home and we were going at it. now i was trying to be all super porn star and show him my moves, and i was like clenching and releasing my PC muscle down there(that you clench when u stop the flow of your pee).....so that it would drive him wild (which it did---he was loving it)

welllllllllllll...unfortunately i was clenching and pushing a little TOO hard----and the next thing i know---i start to PEE on him!!!! i tried to stop--and hes on top and he says 'what is that?' and before i say anything he says 'oh thats so hot---your c**ming on me! oh yeah!' he didn't realize it was PEE!

afterwards he got up and showered---and then i think he realized what happened.

needless to say i never saw him again.

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omg...i cant believe that happened!! at least you didnt pee on your DH..lol
that story reminds me of the embarassing stories in cosmo...

Nothing too crazy ...

I think DH and I had been dating for 1 year and we went away to an Inn for the weekend. It had a jacuzzi tub in the room, and I decided to start a bubble bath for us. I put a ton of the bubble bath stuff in, and made sure the water temp was perfect. Sounds nice & romantic & relaxing, right?

Have you ever put bubbles in a jacuzzi and then turned on the jets?

I can't even tell you how the tub over flowed with bubbles! They wouldn't go away .... it flowed over the top of the tub, even onto the carpet too I think!

So we spent an hour or so of our romantic evening away scooping bubbles out of the tub and trying to clean up the mess we made! Not so romantic!!!

It took DH a while to stop laughing at me!

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Posted by PreshusSmurf

Nothing to crazy ...

I think DH and I had been dating for 1 year and we went away to an Inn for the weekend. It had a jacuzzi tub in the room, and I decided to start a bubble bath for us. I put a ton of the bubble bath stuff in, and made sure the water temp was perfect. Sounds nice & romantic & relaxing, right?

Have you ever put bubbles in a jacuzzi and then turned on the jets?

I can't even tell you how the tub over flowed with bubbles! They wouldn't go away .... it flowed over the top of the tub, even onto the carpet too I think!

So we spent an hour or so of our romantic evening away scooping bubbles out of the tub and trying to clean up the mess we made! Not so romantic!!!

It took DH a while to stop laughing at me!

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same thing happened to DH and i when we went on vacay to Cancun---i put all the bubbles in and thought 'there are no bubbles!! w t f!' and then turned the jets on---we were covered from head to toe in bubbles and slipping and sliding everywhere!

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Posted by FullersBride

I think I've told this one before....

Here is a funny story of mine. DH and I were at my parents house and we were making guacamole (my mom was on her way back form the store). Well you know what goes in guacamole ight?? Avocados, garlic, tomoato, cilantro, red onion, JALAPNEOS!!! Well, when we were done we started fooling around and after a few minutes things started getting 'warm' down there And then it started to BURN BABY BURN....OH MY GOD....It was horrible and then DH started to burn and we started freaking out and we knew my mom was on her way home and we couldn't figure out what to do. So he gets the brilliant idea that lemon will kelp get rid of the burning. SO we start rubbing lemon down there...and IT MAKES IT WORSE

So we both jump in the shower and are soaping like crazy and my mom gets home....yeah and we are both in the shower together.

Eventually the burning subsided but I was sooo sore down there for weeks

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OUCH!

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Posted by MJDoc12

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Posted by PreshusSmurf

Nothing to crazy ...

I think DH and I had been dating for 1 year and we went away to an Inn for the weekend. It had a jacuzzi tub in the room, and I decided to start a bubble bath for us. I put a ton of the bubble bath stuff in, and made sure the water temp was perfect. Sounds nice & romantic & relaxing, right?

Have you ever put bubbles in a jacuzzi and then turned on the jets?

I can't even tell you how the tub over flowed with bubbles! They wouldn't go away .... it flowed over the top of the tub, even onto the carpet too I think!

So we spent an hour or so of our romantic evening away scooping bubbles out of the tub and trying to clean up the mess we made! Not so romantic!!!

It took DH a while to stop laughing at me!

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same thing happened to DH and i when we went on vacay to Cancun---i put all the bubbles in and thought 'there are no bubbles!! w t f!' and then turned the jets on---we were covered from head to toe in bubbles and slipping and sliding everywhere!

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OMG REALLY?!?!?!???!

The way DH laughed at me, I thought I was the only one dumb enough to think bubble bath + jacuzzi = good idea!!

You just made me feel so much better Melissa!

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Posted by PreshusSmurf

Nothing to crazy ...

I think DH and I had been dating for 1 year and we went away to an Inn for the weekend. It had a jacuzzi tub in the room, and I decided to start a bubble bath for us. I put a ton of the bubble bath stuff in, and made sure the water temp was perfect. Sounds nice & romantic & relaxing, right?

Have you ever put bubbles in a jacuzzi and then turned on the jets?

I can't even tell you how the tub over flowed with bubbles! They wouldn't go away .... it flowed over the top of the tub, even onto the carpet too I think!

So we spent an hour or so of our romantic evening away scooping bubbles out of the tub and trying to clean up the mess we made! Not so romantic!!!

It took DH a while to stop laughing at me!

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I did the same thing when we went to Caesars Cove Haven. Bubbles were everywhere!! Ooops

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Posted by PreshusSmurf

OMG they moved this thread too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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i knew it would be! dangitt!

this is the funniest suff i ahve ever read!!!!

i love u girls!

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Posted by gonzo23456

Okay I have a confession. For my baccalaureate party we went pole dancing. It was awesome and the best workout I have ever gotten. At my rehearsal dinner a friend of ours bought us a pole as a joke. So when we returned home from our honeymoon, my husband put up the pole and I was going to show him my moves. So he put it up and I did my thing. I must have gotten one swing around the pole until it collapsed crashing me into the corner of my four post bed. I ended up cracking my head open and needed to get staples in my head. Needless to say, my husband thinks pole dancing is the least sexist thing ever.

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LMFAO

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Posted by MJDoc12

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Posted by PeteysBride

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Posted by MJDoc12

omg i have the story to end alllll stories---but i think it might be a little TMI and gross ppl out and get this thread moved!

---

Oh come on Mel. If they move it we will fidn it again! LMAO. Post!

---

ALRIGHT....i'll post

seriously this is hilarious and just gross at the same time.

worst and most embarassing moment in my LIFE!


so i hooked up with this guy--(pre -- DH days) brought him home and we were going at it. now i was trying to be all super porn star and show him my moves, and i was like clenching and releasing my PC muscle down there(that you clench when u stop the flow of your pee).....so that it would drive him wild (which it did---he was loving it)

welllllllllllll...unfortunately i was clenching and pushing a little TOO hard----and the next thing i know---i start to PEE on him!!!! i tried to stop--and hes on top and he says 'what is that?' and before i say anything he says 'oh thats so hot---your c**ming on me! oh yeah!' he didn't realize it was PEE!

afterwards he got up and showered---and then i think he realized what happened.

needless to say i never saw him again.

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OMG- too f*cking funny!!! That could've happened to any of us!

i mean i have passed out... and i think the best.. is that it wasnt bc the sex was THAT out of this world.. (it was b/f FH).... i just forgot to breathe bc i was being quiet!

Luckily DH and I have never had a Bad Sex Escapade! I don't know how, but we haven't! And we've done it in all sorts of places- the woods, our bosses desk, the bathroom at SDLI, the plane, the cars,

I have however had some pretty funny experiences with past boyfrineds!! One I can't tell about on here because NO-ONE knows about it (i'll have to tell you at the next GTG) BUT I'll tell you about the hottest guy ever who I was licking down there (c*ck, balls, @sshole) and he had a piece of SH!T hanging out of his @ss! EEEEWWWWW

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Posted by Brian and Marie

Luckily DH and I have never had a Bad Sex Escapade! I don't know how, but we haven't! And we've done it in all sorts of places- the woods, our bosses desk, the bathroom at SDLI, the plane, the cars,

I have however had some pretty funny experiences with past boyfrineds!! One I can't tell about on here because NO-ONE knows about it (i'll have to tell you at the next GTG) BUT I'll tell you about the hottest guy ever who I was licking down there (c*ck, balls, @sshole) and he had a piece of SH!T hanging out of his @ss! EEEEWWWWW

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O M G! dont ppl kno how to clean!?

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Posted by xXxNovember08xXx

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Posted by Brian and Marie

Luckily DH and I have never had a Bad Sex Escapade! I don't know how, but we haven't! And we've done it in all sorts of places- the woods, our bosses desk, the bathroom at SDLI, the plane, the cars,

I have however had some pretty funny experiences with past boyfrineds!! One I can't tell about on here because NO-ONE knows about it (i'll have to tell you at the next GTG) BUT I'll tell you about the hottest guy ever who I was licking down there (c*ck, balls, @sshole) and he had a piece of SH!T hanging out of his @ss! EEEEWWWWW

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O M G! dont ppl kno how to clean!?

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I know, tell me about it!!

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Posted by Brian and Marie

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Posted by xXxNovember08xXx

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Posted by Brian and Marie

Luckily DH and I have never had a Bad Sex Escapade! I don't know how, but we haven't! And we've done it in all sorts of places- the woods, our bosses desk, the bathroom at SDLI, the plane, the cars,

I have however had some pretty funny experiences with past boyfrineds!! One I can't tell about on here because NO-ONE knows about it (i'll have to tell you at the next GTG) BUT I'll tell you about the hottest guy ever who I was licking down there (c*ck, balls, @sshole) and he had a piece of SH!T hanging out of his @ss! EEEEWWWWW

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O M G! dont ppl kno how to clean!?

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I know, tell me about it!!

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expecially if you like stuff to be done down there... be considerate.... *sigh men*