What seems to be the average wedding gift for a friend/acquaintance?

I did a search, and the general concensus is to give what you can afford.

To the married ladies: what was the AVERAGE monetary gift received from friends? (not best friends)

I've NEVER been to a friends wedding, so I'm really not sure!

TIA

It was all over the map.

If people gave cash they typically gave about $100 per person (so $200 per couple). People who have gifts selected gifts from the $30 to $150 range.

Hey Nick,,

My gf from hs got married at oheka, I wasnt in the bp ,& i went alone, I gave her $400,,

i know her for years & i wanted to cover my plate i heard that its very crazie expensive there

For me it depends.

We usually give at least 200 from the both of us(100 each). We want to make sure we at least try cover our plates.
If its a close friend/family member we give another 50-100 more. We havent had any close family members get married as of yet, but I'm sure itd be more. You give what you can afford.

The last wedding we went to we put 200 in the card, but we had also given 100 at the engagement party they had had as well.

Give what you can afford. Covering the plate is ridiculous! Should you cover the cost of the DJ, the flowers and photog too?

If I go alone or with DH it doesn't matter. It's what we can afford.

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Posted by tonimike

Hey Nick,,

My gf from hs got married at oheka, I wasnt in the bp ,& i went alone, I gave her $400,,

i know her for years & i wanted to cover my plate i heard that its very crazie expensive there

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true!
I understand the whole 'cover your plate' business. Of course, I would always do that, because that's what my family ALWAYS refers to .

When Vinny and I go to a wedding we give about $125-$150 for each of us... So that's usually between $250-$300 total for us as a couple.

The last wedding we went to- it was for friends of ours this past November- we gave $300. We went to a wedding in PA the year before that for friends of Vinny's from College and we gave $250.

I don't know how I came up with these figures or why- they just seemed right to us.

I wonder myself what the 'average' is and if Vinny and I are above or below-- or just right on. Good question Nicole-- I'll be interested to read everyone's responses!!!

ETA: I should point out that the prices I listed above are what we give for friends-- b/c I thought that was what she originally asked about-- with family members, we give a little more, not much-- maybe $350-$400.

How does the average person not planning a wedding know what the per plate charge is anyway?

If the plate cost $500 would I give that? Heck no. That would be $1000 gift.

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Posted by Blu-ize

Give what you can afford. Covering the plate is ridiculous! Should you cover the cost of the DJ, the flowers and photog too?

If I go alone or with DH it doesn't matter. It's what we can afford.

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Personally I agree -- you should never get yourself into debt trying to attend a wedding. However a lot people have some financial flexibility and 'covering your plate' is as good a rule of thumb as anything else out there.

As a transplant to NY I've found the cover your plate thing a bit odd (and it doesn't exist else where as far as I can tell) but people mean well by it -- they are trying to help the bride and groom.

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Posted by hocus

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Posted by Blu-ize

Give what you can afford. Covering the plate is ridiculous! Should you cover the cost of the DJ, the flowers and photog too?

If I go alone or with DH it doesn't matter. It's what we can afford.

---

Personally I agree -- you should never get yourself into debt trying to attend a wedding. However a lot people have some financial flexibility and 'covering your plate' is as good a rule of thumb as anything else out there.

As a transplant to NY I've found the cover your plate thing a bit odd (and it doesn't exist else where as far as I can tell) but people mean well by it -- they are trying to help the bride and groom.

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How do you know how much it is per plate? Do you ask the bride and groom?

This is a good topic!

My FH's cousin is getting married this June and he was saying that where she is getting married, isn't as expensive, but I pointed out that whatever we give to them, they might give us next year. I think we decided to give them $300.

I don't know exactly what each place charges per plate so I just try to make it an average. If it's an Oheka wedding then I know it's going to be above average so I plan accordingly.

When we went to the wedding in November, I knew for a fact that they got a last minute cancellation and a deal and a half (our friend's mother told my FMIL it was like $70 a head for a Saturday night b/c it was a last minute cancellation). But I didn't say 'oh let me take away some money now because I know they got a deal'. I just gave what I felt was nice to give them a good start at married life-- what I would love to get from someone else when I get married.

At the same time, when we went to the PA wedding-- LOL it was nowhere NEAR a LI wedding in terms of 'standards' and all that jazz. But we still gave $250-- it was a year before the november wedding. When we went to the PA wedding the people at our table had made them a 'Blockbuster Night' gift basket with a fleece blanket, candy and a gift card for three free rentals as a gift. I know there are people of limited means out there but I was shocked-- and Vinny said to me 'can you imagine the look on the bride and groom's faces when they open our gift after getting that?' It was surprising-- but like I said, I give what I give regardless. I could have given them a $50 vase if I wanted to but I just felt that what we gave was right for me and my FH and it's what we wanted to give. Of course, giving what you can afford needs to come into play. If we really couldn't afford to go- we would RSVP no and give a bit less because then they are not paying for our plates at that point. If it was a family member and we could not RSVP no, I would just suck it up and save. I mean, if we are planning the wedding we are planning then we can afford to go to other weddings (that's just our personal situation). Not assuming anyone else is the same as us.

OK, that's my logic-- if anyone can understand it haha

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Posted by STBMrsDaniRella

I don't know exactly what each place charges per plate so I just try to make it an average. If it's an Oheka wedding then I know it's going to be above average so I plan accordingly.

When we went to the wedding in November, I knew for a fact that they got a last minute cancellation and a deal and a half (our friend's mother told my FMIL it was like $70 a head for a Saturday night b/c it was a last minute cancellation). But I didn't say 'oh let me take away some money now because I know they got a deal'. I just gave what I felt was nice to give them a good start at married life-- what I would love to get from someone else when I get married.

At the same time, when we went to the PA wedding-- LOL it was nowhere NEAR a LI wedding in terms of 'standards' and all that jazz. But we still gave $250-- it was a year before the november wedding. When we went to the PA wedding the people at our table had made them a 'Blockbuster Night' gift basket with a fleece blanket, candy and a gift card for three free rentals as a gift. I know there are people of limited means out there but I was shocked-- and Vinny said to me 'can you imagine the look on the bride and groom's faces when they open our gift after getting that?' It was surprising-- but like I said, I give what I give regardless. I could have given them a $50 vase if I wanted to but I just felt that what we gave was right for me and my FH and it's what we wanted to give. Of course, giving what you can afford needs to come into play. If we really couldn't afford to go- we would RSVP no and give a bit less because then they are not paying for our plates at that point. If it was a family member and we could not RSVP no, I would just suck it up and save. I mean, if we are planning the wedding we are planning then we can afford to go to other weddings (that's just our personal situation). Not assuming anyone else is the same as us.

OK, that's my logic-- if anyone can understand it haha

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You have the same logic as my FH. IT totally makes sense.

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Posted by Soon2BeMrs2006

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Posted by STBMrsDaniRella

I don't know exactly what each place charges per plate so I just try to make it an average. If it's an Oheka wedding then I know it's going to be above average so I plan accordingly.

When we went to the wedding in November, I knew for a fact that they got a last minute cancellation and a deal and a half (our friend's mother told my FMIL it was like $70 a head for a Saturday night b/c it was a last minute cancellation). But I didn't say 'oh let me take away some money now because I know they got a deal'. I just gave what I felt was nice to give them a good start at married life-- what I would love to get from someone else when I get married.

At the same time, when we went to the PA wedding-- LOL it was nowhere NEAR a LI wedding in terms of 'standards' and all that jazz. But we still gave $250-- it was a year before the november wedding. When we went to the PA wedding the people at our table had made them a 'Blockbuster Night' gift basket with a fleece blanket, candy and a gift card for three free rentals as a gift. I know there are people of limited means out there but I was shocked-- and Vinny said to me 'can you imagine the look on the bride and groom's faces when they open our gift after getting that?' It was surprising-- but like I said, I give what I give regardless. I could have given them a $50 vase if I wanted to but I just felt that what we gave was right for me and my FH and it's what we wanted to give. Of course, giving what you can afford needs to come into play. If we really couldn't afford to go- we would RSVP no and give a bit less because then they are not paying for our plates at that point. If it was a family member and we could not RSVP no, I would just suck it up and save. I mean, if we are planning the wedding we are planning then we can afford to go to other weddings (that's just our personal situation). Not assuming anyone else is the same as us.

OK, that's my logic-- if anyone can understand it haha

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You have the same logic as my FH. IT totally makes sense.

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Thank God LOL!! b/c it made sense to me and Vin and that's what a lot of people I know try and go by-- each wedding is a different situation of course but nowadays-- (the PA was a while ago) I can't see giving less than 300 per couple.
How about that Blockbuster Basket as a wedding gift huh?? I mean, not to make fun but I was definitely shocked-- that was my face when they put it on the 'gift table'
Meanwhile, me being so naive-- I'm like where's the envelope mailbox/birdcage/cardboard cake thingy?? They were like the what??? I'm like, ummm nevermind and gave it to the bride LOL

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Posted by hocus

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Posted by Blu-ize

Give what you can afford. Covering the plate is ridiculous! Should you cover the cost of the DJ, the flowers and photog too?

If I go alone or with DH it doesn't matter. It's what we can afford.

---

Personally I agree -- you should never get yourself into debt trying to attend a wedding. However a lot people have some financial flexibility and 'covering your plate' is as good a rule of thumb as anything else out there.

As a transplant to NY I've found the cover your plate thing a bit odd (and it doesn't exist else where as far as I can tell) but people mean well by it -- they are trying to help the bride and groom.

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It kinda is odd, its not your fault as a guest that they picked an expensive place? I think $100 pp is about right.