What should I do???????????

jaep129 Posted: Mar 31, 2008 08:19 AM

What should I do???????????

So, three of my friends have just informed me that they will not be able to come to my July wedding. Two have a weekend bachelorette party in Bermuda and the other her Future Mother in law is throwing them an engagement party. What should I do?????

MrsS4 Posted: Mar 31, 2008 08:26 AM

Re: What should I do???????????

Posted by jaep129

So, three of my friends have just informed me that they will not be able to come to my July wedding. Two have a weekend bachelorette party in Bermuda and the other her Future Mother in law is throwing them an engagement party. What should I do?????

I honestly would hate to change my date? but I am not sure it is possible for them to change their events either--- are the tickets already purchased for the BP?? and is the date of the e-party set?? I would talk to them and tell them how you feel just to get it off your shoulders... what did fh say??

hth

jaep129 Posted: Mar 31, 2008 08:48 AM

Re: What should I do???????????

They all knew about my wedding first. FH said 'Now I get to invite more firends since its your friends who cant come'. So he is no help. Your right I should tell them how I feel second best to Bermuda and hurt she wouldn't tell her mother in law 'thats my friends WEDDING'!

MrsS4 Posted: Mar 31, 2008 08:52 AM

Re: What should I do???????????

Posted by jaep129

They all knew about my wedding first. FH said 'Now I get to invite more firends since its your friends who cant come'. So he is no help. Your right I should tell them how I feel second best to Bermuda and hurt she wouldn't tell her mother in law 'thats my friends WEDDING'!

the first 2 people who have the tickets I honestly would wish to tell you otherwise but they cant come... BUT i would still tell them how you feel and the other one with the e-party can open her mouth if invitations are not out and it is still informal-- jmho

&&deff tell them all how you feel-- it will help you vent and they can understand that you are somewhat hurt about it--

hth

jaep129 Posted: Mar 31, 2008 08:57 AM

Re: What should I do???????????

Thank you! Your right!

FutureMrsLehmann Posted: Mar 31, 2008 09:05 AM

Re: What should I do???????????

aw i'm sorry, that really *****. i would tell them how you feel. it really depends how close you all are though. is the party in bermuda for a friend they are really close to?

Jenn04 Posted: Mar 31, 2008 09:30 AM

Re: What should I do???????????

OMG...I would be a bit mad. how long have they known about your wedding?

I personally would not chose a bachelorette party over a wedding esp if I knew about the wedding first. I would have spoken up about the date conflict!

Ok also...one of my friends was deciding between two wedding dates in Sept....I said oh please dont pick Sept 29th...I already have a wedding that day! I dont know if she really cared or not but I told her and she ended up picking abother date in the end! I dont know if I had an influence or not but I am glad I spoke up and got to go to both weddings!

Aristotelina Posted: Mar 31, 2008 09:33 AM

Re: What should I do???????????

Not for nothing but if these 'friends' choose to go away or not be at your wedding, then why would you even bother chasing after them?

I would definitely let them know that you are feeling hurt, but if they don't want to come to your wedding IT'S THEIR LOSS and maybe they weren't as good a friend as you thought they were.

jaep129 Posted: Mar 31, 2008 09:37 AM

Re: What should I do???????????

I have had the date for two years. I guess i see where I stand in their minds!

jaep129 Posted: Mar 31, 2008 09:38 AM

Re: What should I do???????????

Thanks thats the problem. I thought we were all closer then I guess we are!! But F*** IT! I still will have fun!!!!

bluegreen08 Posted: Mar 31, 2008 09:47 AM

Re: What should I do???????????

Posted by Jenn04

OMG...I would be a bit mad. how long have they known about your wedding?

I personally would not chose a bachelorette party over a wedding esp if I knew about the wedding first. I would have spoken up about the date conflict!

Ok also...one of my friends was deciding between two wedding dates in Sept....I said oh please dont pick Sept 29th...I already have a wedding that day! I dont know if she really cared or not but I told her and she ended up picking abother date in the end! I dont know if I had an influence or not but I am glad I spoke up and got to go to both weddings!

I agree. I'm sorry, that sucksss but you will be surrounded by other people you love you very much so try not to let this bother you too much

jtgarsik Posted: Mar 31, 2008 09:56 AM

Re: What should I do???????????

Posted by Jenn04

OMG...I would be a bit mad. how long have they known about your wedding?

I personally would not chose a bachelorette party over a wedding esp if I knew about the wedding first. I would have spoken up about the date conflict!

Ok also...one of my friends was deciding between two wedding dates in Sept....I said oh please dont pick Sept 29th...I already have a wedding that day! I dont know if she really cared or not but I told her and she ended up picking abother date in the end! I dont know if I had an influence or not but I am glad I spoke up and got to go to both weddings!

yea - i agree. I'd be upset if they knew about ur actual WEDDING ahead of time. If i ever got invited to a bachlorette party or was planning an e-party it wouldn't even be a thought in my head to do it anywhere NEAR the date of someone's wedding...especially a close friend! Tell them ur hurt... explain that u'd understand if the other stuff was booked & planned first, but it wasn't. I'm sorry ur going through this...but dont change the date for them.. if they didn't make you the priority, why should you make their silly plans a priority over your wedding day?!?! I dont think this should be the end of any friendships, but definetly tell them how u feel. I watched DH get hurt by a few friends with stuff like this too...some people just don't get it...they're just in a different frame of mind & one day when it's their wedding they'll understand..

PegaLega Posted: Mar 31, 2008 10:44 AM

Re: What should I do???????????

I would be annoyed but if they feel that way then totally ignore them and go on with your plans. I would not go running after them and tell them my feelings on the situation. There really isnt much that you can do about it-I definitely would NOT change your date just b/c of that.
Also are these friends so close to you that they would KNOW your wedding date by heart? Maybe they didnt realize it was that weekend, etc. I know the people in our BP kept asking the date up until they got the invitation. I wouldnt let it get to you-you will still enjoy the hell out of yourself

VickiR510 Posted: Mar 31, 2008 10:46 AM

Re: What should I do???????????

Yeah that stinks. You realy learn who your friends are during all of this.

Kimbalina Posted: Mar 31, 2008 11:26 AM

Re: What should I do???????????

I would let them know that you are bummed that they can not make it.

Especially the ones going to a b-party. They should know that a wedding is more important than someones party. Especially if they knew the date of your wedding already

ligirlz Posted: Mar 31, 2008 12:58 PM

Re: What should I do???????????

I have to totally agree on this one. You find out your true family and friends while planning everything.

Brat143 Posted: Mar 31, 2008 01:35 PM

Re: What should I do???????????

Nothing personal, but how close are you truley, if they were good friends they would have put you first, i would not change a thing! It's your day! i'm having a friday wedding and my mom gave me a hard time, b/c people work and i told her if they care enough they would figure it out!

MJDoc12 Posted: Mar 31, 2008 01:54 PM

Re: What should I do???????????

it totally sux--but sometimes this is just something that happens with weddings. people who you are 100% sure WILL be there---sometimes disappoint ya.

that happened with six of our friends---they planned a family vacation that they take EVER freaking year the wknd of our wedding--i was so upset. but what can ya do? we still had a great time w/o them!

MaggieLuvsJoe Posted: Mar 31, 2008 01:57 PM

Re: What should I do???????????

Posted by ligirlz

I have to totally agree on this one. You find out your true family and friends while planning everything.

i totally agree with you

MsPotterhead Posted: Mar 31, 2008 03:57 PM

Re: What should I do???????????

I'm so sorry this has happened. It unfortunately shows that they are not as good as you thought they were. It is their loss, but, I personally, without a doubt would let them know how I felt. I also don't think I'd be able to be friends with them, knowing that they would prefer to go to a bachelorette party than my wedding. I'm so sorry, I know it hurts when people disappoint you.