What should I do with the ring???

Tiki, first of all, I never got a chance to say Im sorry this happened to you. This whole thing is crazy and I know it hurts inside, but I can see you are strong and gonna heal from all this craziness and come out stronger in the end.

With that said, I just wanna make sure.....are you SURE???? I mean sure sure?? I just dont want to making decisions based soley on sore emotions...I mean this was 7 years...thats longer then most marriages. Do you really really feel this is the turning point for you? Are you sure its over, or is this just time apart?? Is there any chance you can re-connect? I dont want you to sell the ring and regret it, thats all. I know how these situations are really emotional and overwhelming and cloud your head sometimes.


<3 Donna

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Posted by AmorPeruano

Tiki, first of all, I never got a chance to say Im sorry this happened to you. This whole thing is crazy and I know it hurts inside, but I can see you are strong and gonna heal from all this craziness and come out stronger in the end.

With that said, I just wanna make sure.....are you SURE???? I mean sure sure?? I just dont want to making decisions based soley on sore emotions...I mean this was 7 years...thats longer then most marriages. Do you really really feel this is the turning point for you? Are you sure its over, or is this just time apart?? Is there any chance you can re-connect? I dont want you to sell the ring and regret it, thats all. I know how these situations are really emotional and overwhelming and cloud your head sometimes.


<3 Donna

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Thanks babe!!!!!!!!!! I am 100% percent, positively SURE and happy about it

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Posted by Mimacat

If you feel weird using the money for the ring, why dont you sell it and donate the money to a favorite charity?

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OHHHHHHHHH thats great. Yeah like to cancer patients or endangered species etc. I already donate some of my money to big charities , so this is perfect

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Posted by AS

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Posted by Mimacat

If you feel weird using the money for the ring, why dont you sell it and donate the money to a favorite charity?

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OHHHHHHHHH thats great. Yeah like to cancer patients or endangered species etc. I already donate some of my money to big charities , so this is perfect

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Yes! Or the ASPCA or something. And get a reciept for your donation, that way if he tries to complain he looks like an a$$ b/c you gave the money to a good cause.

awww I'm so sorry!

If I was in your situation I would SELL IT... go to a few jewelers and see who will give you the most money- then take that $$ and go shopping- get yourself some sexy feel good about yourself clothes, then go out with your girlfriends and paint the town red.

Your should sell it on ebay . it will help pay for the cost of everything that you spent already.

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Posted by AS

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Posted by Mimacat

If you feel weird using the money for the ring, why dont you sell it and donate the money to a favorite charity?

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OHHHHHHHHH thats great. Yeah like to cancer patients or endangered species etc. I already donate some of my money to big charities , so this is perfect

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GREAT idea!

i know someone posted that if he broke it off you can keep it... but im not sure how accurate that is.. even if it is true hat is he said/she said... unless you can prove who broke it off.

so i would hold onto it incase he tries to tell you to give it back.. if you sell it you may have to pay him back for it...

maybe you should check with a lawyer or something.. then once you are sure you can keep it.. do whatever you want with it

I think you should sell it .. You spent so much money and paid for everything yourself...selll it .. he deserves nothing

He had the luxury of having you in his life for7 yrs and didnt even deserve that !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Posted by Mici n KC

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Posted by kimNanthony

Legally he is entitled to it back. AN engagement ring is a gift in contemplation of marriage and no matter who breaks it off if the wedding is cancelled he is legally entitled to the ring.

On a personal note, I would definitely give it back. I wouldn't want something that everytime I looked at it it reminded me of him.

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Isn't that only if she breaks off the wedding? If he breaks it off, he's not entitled to it since it was a gift.

I say you should sell it.

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Actually, the law in NY says that it doesn't matter who breaks off the engagement. As the other poster wrote above, it is a gift in contemplation of marriage. It's a conditional gift, the condition being that you are going to get married at the end of the engagement. Regardless of who breaks off the engagement, or the reason for breaking off the engagement, the person who bought the ring is entitled to get it back. It *****, but that is the law. If the guy wanted to be a jerk about it (which seems like a good possibility given the current circumstances!), he could take her to court and would be entitled to get the ring back. I am positive about this. We studied this topic extensively in a law class I took earlier this year.

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Posted by lwny427

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Posted by Mici n KC

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Posted by kimNanthony

Legally he is entitled to it back. AN engagement ring is a gift in contemplation of marriage and no matter who breaks it off if the wedding is cancelled he is legally entitled to the ring.

On a personal note, I would definitely give it back. I wouldn't want something that everytime I looked at it it reminded me of him.

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Isn't that only if she breaks off the wedding? If he breaks it off, he's not entitled to it since it was a gift.

I say you should sell it.

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Actually, the law in NY says that it doesn't matter who breaks off the engagement. As the other poster wrote above, it is a gift in contemplation of marriage. It's a conditional gift, the condition being that you are going to get married at the end of the engagement. Regardless of who breaks off the engagement, or the reason for breaking off the engagement, the person who bought the ring is entitled to get it back. It *****, but that is the law. If the guy wanted to be a jerk about it (which seems like a good possibility given the current circumstances!), he could take her to court and would be entitled to get the ring back. I am positive about this. We studied this topic extensively in a law class I took earlier this year.

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I'm so glad you posted this. It is true - it does NOT matter whose fault it is in New York and in the majority of states. In the minority of states, it does depend on who broke it off, but New York is not one of them. THis is something that gets covered in so many classes in law school - Contracts, Property and Family Law all had entire chapters on this! The only time in New York when you don't have to give it back is if you paid for it all. If you paid for part of it, you're only entitled to what you contributed. The only way to keep it would be to prove that it was NOT a gift in contemplation of marriage - meaning it was some other kind of gift (Christmas, birthday, etc.). But, this is very hard to show, considering most engagement rings are CLEARLY for purposes of engagement and there is typically not a trend in the relationship of giving such expensive gifts.

I know it ***** to hear it, but it's true and I wouldn't want you to do anything that could cause you legal woes later, Tiki.