What the Camdens teach me every week...
1. Women are not equipped to be mothers to infants by themselves and fathers are inept. No matter what your financial situation, emotional state or competence... mooch off your parents and insists they raise your children.
2. Comic books cause fear of commitment, pre-marital-sex and vehicular manslaughter.
3. Knowing and loving someone for decades still does not permit you to have sex if you are unmarried. If you're 19 and you meet and marry someone in an hour that's totally fine. Even though you're basically having sex with a stranger.
4. Church will save you. Especially if your parents don't go but force you into going because they can't be bothered to raise you themselves. Redemption is the same thing as emotional blackmail and incompetence.
5. People with massive eyebrows should not dance. It throws your eyebrows askew. Martin, I'm looking at you.
6. You can breastfeed a baby with your shoulder.
7. Teenage girls are road-whores with only sex on their minds. They will do anything to get it, including lying, sneaking around and threats.
8. It's perfectly acceptable to leave your young (and possibly developmentally-disabled) children unsupervised for long periods of time. Especially if you're ignoring them so that you can meddle, pry and snoop in the lives of your adult children and their spouses. Also, the young children you negelct should always be approached with nervous twitchiness and never disciplined.
9. Always welcome strangers into your house, especially if there is a new, uninnoculated infant there.
10. Nothing says 'I love you' like becoming a screechy, domineering tyrant of a matriarch who refuses to cut the apron strings and rules her family with fear and an iron fist.
P.S. When Vincent's parents showed up I totally thought they wanted him to go to church because he was gay and wanted to turn him straight.
P.P.S. Lucy isn't a bad mother... at least she hasn't eaten her young. Yet.
2. Comic books cause fear of commitment, pre-marital-sex and vehicular manslaughter.
3. Knowing and loving someone for decades still does not permit you to have sex if you are unmarried. If you're 19 and you meet and marry someone in an hour that's totally fine. Even though you're basically having sex with a stranger.
4. Church will save you. Especially if your parents don't go but force you into going because they can't be bothered to raise you themselves. Redemption is the same thing as emotional blackmail and incompetence.
5. People with massive eyebrows should not dance. It throws your eyebrows askew. Martin, I'm looking at you.
6. You can breastfeed a baby with your shoulder.
7. Teenage girls are road-whores with only sex on their minds. They will do anything to get it, including lying, sneaking around and threats.
8. It's perfectly acceptable to leave your young (and possibly developmentally-disabled) children unsupervised for long periods of time. Especially if you're ignoring them so that you can meddle, pry and snoop in the lives of your adult children and their spouses. Also, the young children you negelct should always be approached with nervous twitchiness and never disciplined.
9. Always welcome strangers into your house, especially if there is a new, uninnoculated infant there.
10. Nothing says 'I love you' like becoming a screechy, domineering tyrant of a matriarch who refuses to cut the apron strings and rules her family with fear and an iron fist.
P.S. When Vincent's parents showed up I totally thought they wanted him to go to church because he was gay and wanted to turn him straight.
P.P.S. Lucy isn't a bad mother... at least she hasn't eaten her young. Yet.
