What to do when someone doesn't bring a gift to your e-party/vent
Original post by leesah85
So two of FH's cousins came to our e-party w/out a gift. We had a pretty formal e-party in a really nice restaurant where formal invitations went out, etc.
The cousins are both in their late 20s. One of them is married and the other is in a relationship w/ a guy she's been with for 10 years (but their not married). When the married cousin got married, they got married at city hall w/out telling anyone last year and are having a formal wedding this year. They didn't have an engagement party, so we didn't send an engagement gift.
Anyone think I'm crazy for expecting a gift for either/both of them? And to boot, the married cousin is in our BP!
I'm doing thank yous and was wondering if I should send them a card just thanking them for coming, but I'm having a hard time conceptualizing that.
wiggleit28
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Re: What to do when someone doesn't bring a gift to your e-party/vent
Posted by quirkybride
My FH and I were considering having an engagement party and telling people not to bring a gift.
We were thinking of doing the same!!
FuTuRe MrS MaZz
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Re: What to do when someone doesn't bring a gift to your e-party/vent
I completely think its wrong that you expect a gift at your eparty... This is exactly why I didnt want to have one... I didnt want anyone to feel like they should have to give us gifts 3 TIMES for essentially the same freakin occasion...
Cacarina
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Re: What to do when someone doesn't bring a gift to your e-party/vent
Posted by FuTuRe MrS MaZz
I completely think its wrong that you expect a gift at your eparty... This is exactly why I didnt want to have one... I didnt want anyone to feel like they should have to give us gifts 3 TIMES for essentially the same freakin occasion...
I totally agree with you on this. It is so much already!
StellaStar13
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Re: What to do when someone doesn't bring a gift to your e-party/vent
Posted by StellaStar13
I dont blame you for expecting a gift. I was shocked when 3 of my cousins didnt bring anything and when FH's 50 yr old cousin brought us a bottle of his home made wine.....not even a card Our party was also formal.
Sorry, I didnt read your original post completely through when I answered. ITA w/the other ladies, write a general thank you for enjoying your special event w/you. Thats what I did and def feel that I made the right choice.
HTH!!!!
MrsCastanedain09
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Re: What to do when someone doesn't bring a gift to your e-party/vent
Posted by Cacarina
Posted by FuTuRe MrS MaZz
I completely think its wrong that you expect a gift at your eparty... This is exactly why I didnt want to have one... I didnt want anyone to feel like they should have to give us gifts 3 TIMES for essentially the same freakin occasion...
I totally agree with you on this. It is so much already!
I have to agree here. You're going to get lots of gifts for your Bridal Shower and Wedding....I wouldn't stress people not giving me gifts. You should be prepared for people to come to your wedding and not bring gifts too. I don't wish it on anyone but it does happen and you have to let it slide. In the end, it's about people celebrating this special time in your life.
me1234
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Re: What to do when someone doesn't bring a gift to your e-party/vent
Times are bad...and its hard for everyone to give for an e-party,shower and wedding. Its just to much and i would understand not getting for the e-party.
leesah85
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Re: What to do when someone doesn't bring a gift to your e-party/vent
Thanks for the input girls. They definitely aren't in a bad financial situation. And plus, ITA, I would never go ANYWHERE without a gift. I'm not asking for a $100 gift, how about a $1 store picture frame or a card? It's just tacky and I can only IMAGINE what's gonna happen at the wedding. Ugh. FH doesn't care, but he's a guy and they generally don't care about these things at all.
And to boot, when we first planned our e-party, people were like 'what's the rush?' and my response was, 'well, I figured we could have the party really far away from the wedding so that people didn't 'feel' the financial burden.' That got me really far hahaha. It's just hard b/c my cousin that's in the BP gave us $300 and his cousin gave us nothing. Oh wedding planning and its awkwardness!
Oh well, I guess I'll still send them a thank you card.
HeatherLynna
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Re: What to do when someone doesn't bring a gift to your e-party/vent
I guess this is a hard topic, but I 100% feel it is HORRIBLE of a guest to receive a formal invitation, accept it, eat, and drink at the party and arrive empty handed!
Unfortunately times are tough, but you know what? How about a small gift? A pretty vase or something? I would never even think about showing up with nothing for any event! It is just rude. Screw etiquette. It may be wrong to expect a big gift, but I don't think it's wrong to expect a little something, ESPECIALLY from a person in your bridal party!!!
I know it would be RIGHT to send a thank you, but I would have a hard time as well.
Okay I'm done.
marriedinmontauk
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Re: What to do when someone doesn't bring a gift to your e-party/vent
I'll be honest here, there are several very close relatives and bp party members who never got us a gift. A decent number of guests as well.
NellieBellie32
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Re: What to do when someone doesn't bring a gift to your e-party/vent
i would be pissed. I dont agree that gifts are optional at an engagement party, u are spending alot of money on a party where they are eating and drinking, i think they should bring something. Go to the dollar store and pick up picture frames at least. You dont show up empty handed. I agree and would send them a thank you anyway but i think thats totally rude.
NellieBellie32
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Re: What to do when someone doesn't bring a gift to your e-party/vent
Posted by leesah85
I'm not asking for a $100 gift, how about a $1 store picture frame or a card? It's just tacky and I can only IMAGINE what's gonna happen at the wedding.
Oh well, I guess I'll still send them a thank you card.
Thats funny because I didn't even read that until after i posed, ITA I never show up invited to a friends house emptyhanded, i will always bring a bottle of wine or dessert or somehting
