What to do with FH Sister-in-law? DRAMA!

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Posted by tanyasari

Long story short, she was in the bridal party and I nixed her. Basically, we don't get along. She's a susie homemaker who sews clothing and very different from my more modern approach to life.

We have very different personalities. Just how we are.

So, about a month or so ago, I asked her not to be in my bridal party. I couldn't take it any longer and wanted someone else.

Now, she wants to be a part of the ceremony somehow. We are Jewish, so there are no real readings. She will have a 14 month old daughter too. So I was thinking that maybe she could escort/help her daughter be a flower girl.

At one point she gave an ultimatum/threat to us that if we didn't put her back as a bridesmaid, then she would ash her husband to pull out as the best man in the wedding. Which, is just wrong. She has no control over our wedding.

Anyone have ideas on how to incorporate her somehow to a piece of the wedding? Short of making her an usherette, IDK what to do with her. I am happier with her out of my bridal party and don't want to even consider putting her back in.

HELP WITH IDEAS!

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Posted by tanyasari

Long story short, she was in the bridal party and I nixed her. Basically, we don't get along. She's a susie homemaker who sews clothing and very different from my more modern approach to life.

We have very different personalities. Just how we are.

So, about a month or so ago, I asked her not to be in my bridal party. I couldn't take it any longer and wanted someone else.

Now, she wants to be a part of the ceremony somehow. We are Jewish, so there are no real readings. She will have a 14 month old daughter too. So I was thinking that maybe she could escort/help her daughter be a flower girl.

At one point she gave an ultimatum/threat to us that if we didn't put her back as a bridesmaid, then she would ash her husband to pull out as the best man in the wedding. Which, is just wrong. She has no control over our wedding.

Anyone have ideas on how to incorporate her somehow to a piece of the wedding? Short of making her an usherette, IDK what to do with her. I am happier with her out of my bridal party and don't want to even consider putting her back in.

HELP WITH IDEAS!

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Posted by Kroedel87

Or you could just be the bigger person, suck it up, and have her as a bridesmaid. This is rarely the popular opinion on this site, and I'm sure most will disagree with me, but sometimes you have to get along with people you don't like. Yes, it's your wedding day, but it's your fiancé's wedding day too, and maybe spare a thought to just making his life easier, and easing his relationship with his mother, and between he and his brother.

I have to be completely honest, the way you say how she's a 'Susie homemaker' and you're modern, and how she makes matching clothes and you and your friends laugh at her, you sound VERY mean girl. This is family, not friends, and family will be there forever so it'll make life much easier in the long run if you just make nice.

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Posted by Kroedel87

Or you could just be the bigger person, suck it up, and have her as a bridesmaid. This is rarely the popular opinion on this site, and I'm sure most will disagree with me, but sometimes you have to get along with people you don't like. Yes, it's your wedding day, but it's your fiancé's wedding day too, and maybe spare a thought to just making his life easier, and easing his relationship with his mother, and between he and his brother.

I have to be completely honest, the way you say how she's a 'Susie homemaker' and you're modern, and how she makes matching clothes and you and your friends laugh at her, you sound VERY mean girl. This is family, not friends, and family will be there forever so it'll make life much easier in the long run if you just make nice.

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Posted by Kroedel87

Or you could just be the bigger person, suck it up, and have her as a bridesmaid. This is rarely the popular opinion on this site, and I'm sure most will disagree with me, but sometimes you have to get along with people you don't like. Yes, it's your wedding day, but it's your fiancé's wedding day too, and maybe spare a thought to just making his life easier, and easing his relationship with his mother, and between he and his brother.

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Posted by Kroedel87

Or you could just be the bigger person, suck it up, and have her as a bridesmaid. This is rarely the popular opinion on this site, and I'm sure most will disagree with me, but sometimes you have to get along with people you don't like. Yes, it's your wedding day, but it's your fiancé's wedding day too, and maybe spare a thought to just making his life easier, and easing his relationship with his mother, and between he and his brother.

I have to be completely honest, the way you say how she's a 'Susie homemaker' and you're modern, and how she makes matching clothes and you and your friends laugh at her, you sound VERY mean girl. This is family, not friends, and family will be there forever so it'll make life much easier in the long run if you just make nice.

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Posted by tanyasari

So the sewing your own clothing was an example of how we really are total opposites and to be honest, I knew from the start I didn't want her. But she thinks I should be like her and just include everyone in my bridal party. When she got married she put random first cousins of my FH family in her bridal party who she barely even knew. I told FH my idea last night of just having her as a flower girl with her daughter and he seems ok with that as an option. Then after they go down the aisle, the kid gets handed off to someone else so that we don't have a kid making noises during the ceremony. The last thing I want is random peeps during our vows.

Call me Regina George, but she has no right to say crap about my wedding day. She got nixed from the wedding party b/c she was so not like the rest of my girls and everyone said she was awkward. I even knew she was.

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Posted by mattandjess2013

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Posted by tanyasari

So the sewing your own clothing was an example of how we really are total opposites and to be honest, I knew from the start I didn't want her. But she thinks I should be like her and just include everyone in my bridal party. When she got married she put random first cousins of my FH family in her bridal party who she barely even knew. I told FH my idea last night of just having her as a flower girl with her daughter and he seems ok with that as an option. Then after they go down the aisle, the kid gets handed off to someone else so that we don't have a kid making noises during the ceremony. The last thing I want is random peeps during our vows.

Call me Regina George, but she has no right to say crap about my wedding day. She got nixed from the wedding party b/c she was so not like the rest of my girls and everyone said she was awkward. I even knew she was.

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I'm sorry but I definitely agree with the other posters about you sounding like a mean girl. You want to exclude someone because they're awkward and 'not like the rest of your girls?' Wow... I feel bad for your FSIL having to deal with you, not the other way around. People are different, that's what makes the world go 'round. You don't have to be your FSIL's BFF, but you are going to be family, so maybe show her a little respect. And you referring to your future niece as 'the kid' is just horrible. I didn't have children at my wedding and I understand not wanting to have children there, but you just come across like you HATE these people.

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Posted by tanyasari

So the sewing your own clothing was an example of how we really are total opposites and to be honest, I knew from the start I didn't want her. But she thinks I should be like her and just include everyone in my bridal party. When she got married she put random first cousins of my FH family in her bridal party who she barely even knew. I told FH my idea last night of just having her as a flower girl with her daughter and he seems ok with that as an option. Then after they go down the aisle, the kid gets handed off to someone else so that we don't have a kid making noises during the ceremony. The last thing I want is random peeps during our vows.

Call me Regina George, but she has no right to say crap about my wedding day. She got nixed from the wedding party b/c she was so not like the rest of my girls and everyone said she was awkward. I even knew she was.

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