What to do....(long, sorry) UPDATE
So last night I got a call from my cousin saying that she didn't think she's going to be able to be in the wedding because she and her new husband have no money whatsoever, and although they were pouring over the budget, they just don't see how they can do it...
For a little background, my cousin is HORRIBLE with money - she ended up having to declare bankruptcy a few years ago, and now she back in serious debt again. She and her husband just got married a month or so ago - but in their backyard...no money spent at all (that's their style) and then they just bought a house. She's a commission only insurance sales person and she said a few months ago things were good, but then she had a rash of cancellations and when that happens, they take the commission away from her...so now she's getting like $100 for the month. They live in PA, so it would cost gas and toll money to come out here on top of the dress, shoes, etc...
I am so hurt and angry that she's backing out of the wedding 3 MONTHS before...and after the dresses are already in and ordered...not to mention the money my FH and I have already laid out on BM gifts, etc (which is really not all that much in the grand scheme of things, but it's the principal of the matter).
Anyway, I have another friend who lives in PA (I lived there for a while) whom I spoke to like a year ago after my eparty and she was a little upset that I didn't ask her to be in the wedding party. I explained to her at the time that it wasn't because I didn't want her in the party, but that between my FH's brothers, cousins and best friend and my cousins and the two friends I've known forever, that we had to draw the line somewhere...Well, I had my cousin and cousin-in-law drop out in January because she is pregnant (understandable and well in advance). That didn't effect anything, as it was one BM and one GM, so we decided to just leave it at 5 and 5....So my question now is do I leave it at 5 GM and 4 BM or do I tactfully ask my friend to join the wedding party? I don't want her to feel like 2nd choice, and of course she's under no obligation to say yes...my FH and mom weren't sure what is the best option either...what do I do???
btw - I haven't said a word to any of the other BMs, because my Mom was going to make a last ditch effort to get my cousin to rejoin by offering to pay the balance of the dress and the shoes as a wedding gift. But we all think that she'll turn it down as we feel there are more underlying issues....
Thanks for listening!!!
***UPDATE***
I decided to ask my friend, and she called me back today to say YES![]()
So now I have 5 bridesmaids, and all of them are good friends to me and I am proud to have them all there!!
Thanks for your support ladies!!!
For a little background, my cousin is HORRIBLE with money - she ended up having to declare bankruptcy a few years ago, and now she back in serious debt again. She and her husband just got married a month or so ago - but in their backyard...no money spent at all (that's their style) and then they just bought a house. She's a commission only insurance sales person and she said a few months ago things were good, but then she had a rash of cancellations and when that happens, they take the commission away from her...so now she's getting like $100 for the month. They live in PA, so it would cost gas and toll money to come out here on top of the dress, shoes, etc...
I am so hurt and angry that she's backing out of the wedding 3 MONTHS before...and after the dresses are already in and ordered...not to mention the money my FH and I have already laid out on BM gifts, etc (which is really not all that much in the grand scheme of things, but it's the principal of the matter).
Anyway, I have another friend who lives in PA (I lived there for a while) whom I spoke to like a year ago after my eparty and she was a little upset that I didn't ask her to be in the wedding party. I explained to her at the time that it wasn't because I didn't want her in the party, but that between my FH's brothers, cousins and best friend and my cousins and the two friends I've known forever, that we had to draw the line somewhere...Well, I had my cousin and cousin-in-law drop out in January because she is pregnant (understandable and well in advance). That didn't effect anything, as it was one BM and one GM, so we decided to just leave it at 5 and 5....So my question now is do I leave it at 5 GM and 4 BM or do I tactfully ask my friend to join the wedding party? I don't want her to feel like 2nd choice, and of course she's under no obligation to say yes...my FH and mom weren't sure what is the best option either...what do I do???
btw - I haven't said a word to any of the other BMs, because my Mom was going to make a last ditch effort to get my cousin to rejoin by offering to pay the balance of the dress and the shoes as a wedding gift. But we all think that she'll turn it down as we feel there are more underlying issues....
Thanks for listening!!!
***UPDATE***
I decided to ask my friend, and she called me back today to say YES
So now I have 5 bridesmaids, and all of them are good friends to me and I am proud to have them all there!!
Thanks for your support ladies!!!
