Re: What would you do?

He just called again,but he didn't leave a voicemail this time-that just means that he's going to call again in alittle while!

Re: What would you do?

That must be so annoying, and completely unfair to you. What about letting your instructor know that he's not holding up his end? I don't like to suggest squealing, but it would not be fair for him to bring down your group grade and it seems wrong that he gets to ride your coattails!

Re: What would you do?

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Posted by TracyInQueens

That must be so annoying, and completely unfair to you. What about letting your instructor know that he's not holding up his end? I don't like to suggest squealing, but it would not be fair for him to bring down your group grade and it seems wrong that he gets to ride your coattails!

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I wouldn't do that, I don't want to be a snitch, the 1 good things is that we have to grade our teamates on their contribution for the final project, so I can asure you I won't hold back!

Re: What would you do?

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Posted by May152005

He just called again,but he didn't leave a voicemail this time-that just means that he's going to call again in alittle while!

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That's why you should just tell that you can and will not help him - at this point it becomes plagerism.

Re: What would you do?

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Posted by ChristineC68

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Posted by May152005

He just called again,but he didn't leave a voicemail this time-that just means that he's going to call again in alittle while!

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That's why you should just tell that you can and will not help him - at this point it becomes plagerism.

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I agree, but I'm a coward, I just don't feel like getting into it with him right now, besides the way I see it is if he's so full of himself & has the audacity to ask me for the answers, he really isn't going to listen to my reasoning, he'll just insist & knowing myself I will probably sit down and think up new answers for him, so I'm going to continue schreening my calls

Re: What would you do?

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Posted by bxgell2

You CANNOT give him the answers... when I was in college, I was on the disciplinary board, and I can't tell you how many times we got cases like this, and we were required to find BOTH parties culpable... the cheater and the person helping. If the answers are analytical, and you help him, I guarantee your professor is familiar enough with cheating that he will recognize that both your answers are way too similar. Even if you had every good intention, you could really get yourself in deep trouble by helping him. If nothing else, I would tell him that you are just too busy yourself to help him out.

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Exactly! By giving him the answers, you risk failing the class (and worse) yourself. Not only should he not be putting you in this position, but you shouldn't feel bad about not giving him the answers!

Re: What would you do?

I would definitely avoid that call!

Re: What would you do?

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Posted by May152005

I agree that the right thing to do would be to take the call and just tell him, but at this point, we have a midterm that has to be emailed to the professor by 8:00 tonight and he's going to beg me to help him and put my through a guilt trip. He sounded really desperate in he voicemail, I almost felt bad for him, but again, he's been mooching off me the whole semester and I'm sick of it!

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You know what...that's just too bad. Don't let him make you feel guilty for HIS laziness. You owe him NOTHING. He has to learn that he can't come running to you everytime he decides to blow off an assignment until the last minute.

And you really need to tell him this. Avoiding him will not solve the issue. I know it is difficult. Honestly, he's not acting like an adult, but that doesn't mean you don't have to either. Stand up to him because his pestering will continue until YOU put an end to it once and for all.

ETA: Sorry, I just reread my post and it sounded a bit harsh. I didn't intend it to sound that way. Avoiding him is not helping you -- you will still have to deal with his phone calls all night if you don't talk to him.

Re: What would you do?

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Posted by frosty

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Posted by May152005

I agree that the right thing to do would be to take the call and just tell him, but at this point, we have a midterm that has to be emailed to the professor by 8:00 tonight and he's going to beg me to help him and put my through a guilt trip. He sounded really desperate in he voicemail, I almost felt bad for him, but again, he's been mooching off me the whole semester and I'm sick of it!

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You know what...that's just too bad. Don't let him make you feel guilty for HIS laziness. You owe him NOTHING. He has to learn that he can't come running to you everytime he decides to blow off an assignment until the last minute.

And you really need to tell him this. Avoiding him will not solve the issue. I know it is difficult. Honestly, he's not acting like an adult, but that doesn't mean you don't have to either. Stand up to him because his pestering will continue until YOU put an end to it once and for all.

ETA: Sorry, I just reread my post and it sounded a bit harsh. I didn't intend it to sound that way. Avoiding him is not helping you -- you will still have to deal with his phone calls all night if you don't talk to him.

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I agree with what you're saying, but at this point avaoiding him seems like the immediate solution. He called again a few minutes ago & no voicemail again!

Re: What would you do?

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Posted by May152005

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Posted by frosty

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Posted by May152005

I agree that the right thing to do would be to take the call and just tell him, but at this point, we have a midterm that has to be emailed to the professor by 8:00 tonight and he's going to beg me to help him and put my through a guilt trip. He sounded really desperate in he voicemail, I almost felt bad for him, but again, he's been mooching off me the whole semester and I'm sick of it!

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You know what...that's just too bad. Don't let him make you feel guilty for HIS laziness. You owe him NOTHING. He has to learn that he can't come running to you everytime he decides to blow off an assignment until the last minute.

And you really need to tell him this. Avoiding him will not solve the issue. I know it is difficult. Honestly, he's not acting like an adult, but that doesn't mean you don't have to either. Stand up to him because his pestering will continue until YOU put an end to it once and for all.

ETA: Sorry, I just reread my post and it sounded a bit harsh. I didn't intend it to sound that way. Avoiding him is not helping you -- you will still have to deal with his phone calls all night if you don't talk to him.

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I agree with what you're saying, but at this point avaoiding him seems like the immediate solution. He called again a few minutes ago & no voicemail again!

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Avoiding him will accomplish nothing. He's going to approach you when you get to class anyway and asked why you flaked on him so you're only delaying the guilt trip, you're not avoiding it.

Look at this situation from a different angle for a second: you're hiding from someone who basically is asking you to risk getting kicked out of school for him with little more than a thank you in return. So those 8 hours you put into it was for what? For some cocky guy who you think won't listen to you anyway? Someone who will have no remorse for getting you involved in this if the worst case scenario happens? Believe me, he'll listen when you tell him that you can't give him the answers. I mean really, a person like that will find someone else to mooch off of soon enough, because there's always someone around who confuses being nice with being walked on.

I work a full time job and go to school at night and I have been asked to help people cheat in the past. You know what? People don't like when I tell them no, but I don't bust my behind to better someone else's life, I do it for myself. I think it is soooo obnoxious to ask someone to cheat like this because its obvious that the person doesn't care about taking advantage of people, why should you care about hurting his feelings?

Re: What would you do?

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Posted by eroxgirl

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Posted by May152005

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Posted by frosty

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Posted by May152005

I agree that the right thing to do would be to take the call and just tell him, but at this point, we have a midterm that has to be emailed to the professor by 8:00 tonight and he's going to beg me to help him and put my through a guilt trip. He sounded really desperate in he voicemail, I almost felt bad for him, but again, he's been mooching off me the whole semester and I'm sick of it!

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You know what...that's just too bad. Don't let him make you feel guilty for HIS laziness. You owe him NOTHING. He has to learn that he can't come running to you everytime he decides to blow off an assignment until the last minute.

And you really need to tell him this. Avoiding him will not solve the issue. I know it is difficult. Honestly, he's not acting like an adult, but that doesn't mean you don't have to either. Stand up to him because his pestering will continue until YOU put an end to it once and for all.

ETA: Sorry, I just reread my post and it sounded a bit harsh. I didn't intend it to sound that way. Avoiding him is not helping you -- you will still have to deal with his phone calls all night if you don't talk to him.

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I agree with what you're saying, but at this point avaoiding him seems like the immediate solution. He called again a few minutes ago & no voicemail again!

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Avoiding him will accomplish nothing. He's going to approach you when you get to class anyway and asked why you flaked on him so you're only delaying the guilt trip, you're not avoiding it.

Look at this situation from a different angle for a second: you're hiding from someone who basically is asking you to risk getting kicked out of school for him with little more than a thank you in return. So those 8 hours you put into it was for what? For some cocky guy who you think won't listen to you anyway? Someone who will have no remorse for getting you involved in this if the worst case scenario happens? Believe me, he'll listen when you tell him that you can't give him the answers. I mean really, a person like that will find someone else to mooch off of soon enough, because there's always someone around who confuses being nice with being walked on.

I work a full time job and go to school at night and I have been asked to help people cheat in the past. You know what? People don't like when I tell them no, but I don't bust my behind to better someone else's life, I do it for myself. I think it is soooo obnoxious to ask someone to cheat like this because its obvious that the person doesn't care about taking advantage of people, why should you care about hurting his feelings?

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No, you misunderstood, I don't care about hurting his feelings, but I HAVE TO work with him on the final project, the groups were assigned by the professor weeks ago & for that reason, I don't want to cause any conflicts, so I figured that avoiding his phone calls all day and then finally telling him that I was in meetings all day would be the best way to handle this.

I'm not going to see him tonight, the professor cancelled class and instead we just have to email him our midterm by 8:00.

Re: What would you do?

I would give him the wrong answers! That'll show him!

Re: What would you do?

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Posted by May152005

No, you misunderstood, I don't care about hurting his feelings, but I HAVE TO work with him on the final project, the groups were assigned by the professor weeks ago & for that reason, I don't want to cause any conflicts, so I figured that avoiding his phone calls all day and then finally telling him that I was in meetings all day would be the best way to handle this.

I'm not going to see him tonight, the professor cancelled class and instead we just have to email him our midterm by 8:00.

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Oh I see. That sucks! I HATE group work for exactly this reason! I don't envy you. I hope it works out for the best.

Re: What would you do?

You know for all the effort ALLLLL DAY he spent calling you... He could have friggin' did all the work!!!
PATHETIC!!
I'm so sorry you have to deal with this!

Re: What would you do?

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Posted by CherylBooch

You know for all the effort ALLLLL DAY he spent calling you... He could have friggin' did all the work!!!
PATHETIC!!
I'm so sorry you have to deal with this!

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I know, he has called me 3 time since 4:15, it ridiculous that he's expecting me to send him my exam! I'm completly disgusted by him & the worst part is he's a full time student he doesn't even work, his classes should be his #1 priority, he should not be expecting anyone to do his work for him!

Re: What would you do?

just be ready for when he confronts you

Re: What would you do?

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Posted by May152005


I know, he has called me 3 time since 4:15, it ridiculous that he's expecting me to send him my exam! I'm completly disgusted by him & the worst part is he's a full time student he doesn't even work, his classes should be his #1 priority, he should not be expecting anyone to do his work for him!

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In my experience, full time students are THE WORST OFFENDERS of this! Life is simple when you're a student with nothing else going on in the world. It drives me nuts!

Re: What would you do?

I was thinking that - how much effort and time he has spent calling you today instead of trying to get at least a couple of questions done.

I am a college dean and also have my Master's - so I see things from both sides - a recent student and college dean.
I think it's disgusting that he is doing this to you and that you feel so guilty about it. I would not deal with it anymore and I would also tell him in no uncertain terms that if he continues this - you will talk to the professor - it is not just snitching on him - it is safeguarding yourself since you have to do groupwork with him. I am sure your professor has had a situation like this before - seriously, they've seen everything and can help out in this. But you have to stop letting him take advantage of you and letting him make you feel this way!

Re: What would you do?

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Posted by eroxgirl
I work a full time job and go to school at night and I have been asked to help people cheat in the past. You know what? People don't like when I tell them no, but I don't bust my behind to better someone else's life, I do it for myself. I think it is soooo obnoxious to ask someone to cheat like this because its obvious that the person doesn't care about taking advantage of people, why should you care about hurting his feelings?

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I agree. I was asked by an ex once to help him cheat and I refused. He said, 'If you loved me...' -- I cut him off midsentence and told him that I couldn't risk my college career so he could do better on a test he didn't prepare for.

Re: What would you do?

Thanks for all the support & advice. I just emailed my exam to the professor. I'm still at work, so I called home to tell my parents I'm running late and my father said some guy from my class keeps calling my home line saying that he has to speak with me. He's so annoying!