FH has a sister, that he really doesn't get along with and has not got along with since they were kids. His parents think I should be asking her to by in my wedding party. Her and I get along just fine and all, but I don't want a big bridal party...5 is my number at the moment. I thought we were set on not asking her but it came up last night and I think what he is worried about is not offending her necessarily but 'disrespecting' the family. If I was to ask her, he would than ask my brother (who he likes and has no problems with but is already giving me away and I don't care either way if FH asks him or not).
Would you ask your FSIL if you knew FH and her didn't get along (they can be civil)?
AlexandMike2012
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Re: What would you do...
I understand that feeling of 'having to have them because their family'....personally I probably wouldn't have her in the party but have her do a reading or something to make her be a part of the day and not just a guest BUT if it's going to cause drama with the family I'd probably fight it then suck it up and have her.
Jill52787
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Re: What would you do...
I just went through almost the same thing. I'd just put her in, and hopefully it will keep everyone quiet.
bride2be2012
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Re: What would you do...
If everyone can manage to get along for the day, then I would put her in your BP. It might make your day go more smoothly and eliminate some unnecessary drama if everyone is *happy*.
AngnShaun
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Re: What would you do...
You dont ask people to be in your BP unless they are your close friends... just because your FH has a sister doesnt mean they should be in your wedding!
Rob and Robin
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Posted by bride2be2012
If everyone can manage to get along for the day, then I would put her in your BP. It might make your day go more smoothly and eliminate some unnecessary drama if everyone is *happy*.
THIS.
It is your day, but it may not be worth upsetting the FILs.
Good luck!
Soon2BeABC
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Re: What would you do...
I am in the same situation. I wanted to ask my FSIL to be in my bridal party but my FH doesnt want me to ask her. They havent gotten along in years. FH is afraid she would also make it all about her that day. So I am just having my closest friends instead. Her daughter is our FG.
bluehevn22
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Re: What would you do...
Posted by AngnShaun
You dont ask people to be in your BP unless they are your close friends... just because your FH has a sister doesnt mean they should be in your wedding!
Thank you...this is what I keep saying. My FH, though, thinks that every other wedding we have been to, the family (brother/sister) was in the wedding parties. But who cares, right? I don't exppect him to put my brother in but if he wanted to than great. I don't know what to do. I feel like it will be an issue with FFIL.
soon2beMrsHenry92912
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Re: What would you do...
If you are already at 5 and that is the number you want to stay at, then, no I would not put her in. Your bridal party is supposed to made up of the women/girls that you are closest to in your life and want standing next to you on your big day. I don't think you should have to put her in the party because she is FH sister. And because their is drama there, that would caution me from putting FH's sister in the party at all. The BP has to be together a lot on the day of the wedding and its best if everyone can get along with out any tension. Like Alex said, you can include her in another way like have her do a reading and participate in another part of the ceremony. I don't think you should have to feel pressured about who you should have in your bridal party, nor should you have to add people to make the families happy. Your bridal party choices should be left up to you! HTH
AngnShaun
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Re: What would you do...
Posted by bluehevn22
Posted by AngnShaun
You dont ask people to be in your BP unless they are your close friends... just because your FH has a sister doesnt mean they should be in your wedding!
Thank you...this is what I keep saying. My FH, though, thinks that every other wedding we have been to, the family (brother/sister) was in the wedding parties. But who cares, right? I don't exppect him to put my brother in but if he wanted to than great. I don't know what to do. I feel like it will be an issue with FFIL.
he may be right... but it doesnt mean you have to do it...
It might be an issue now, but if you do put her in then its going to be an issue for you (or it would have been for me)... so you have to choose which issue you can deal with...
