When are you being too critical????

I will be the first to admit I am a very critical person. I do not like this about myself but I have to admit sometimes people make do not make it easy for me.

I think I get the most annoyed when I feel as though people are not giving their 100%.

A few examples of my criticisms:

1. Went to someone's house sat in my coat for 5 minutes and they did not tell me where to hang it- I had to ask

2. Went to dinner at a friend's house- made DH and I wait 2 hours to eat- I was starving- come to find out 3/4 of the stuff came out of a can.

3. Had a GTG at my home- some people did not bring anything, but at tne end of the night had plate and foil in hand trying to take stuff home, without even being offered first.

I have been told that I should live and let live, and be accepting of the fact that people are different and not everyone would do things as I would.

I try to take this into consideration, but sometimes I am like screw it!

Anyone else like this?

1. When I go over someone's house, the first thing I do is remove my coat and ask where I can put it. I think it would be nice if my coat be taken from me, but I don't expect it.

2. The 2 hours would have irked me, but the canned stuff...probably not. If these people are friends of mine, I wouldn't want them to put themselves out on my account. I'm more appreciative of the invite and a night of good company as opposed to the food that's on the table. There HAS TO be wine though.

3. When I host GTGs in my home I don't expect anyone to bring anything. I think it's a nice gesture for those who do, but don't think any less of those who don't. Again, I'm more for the company and a good evening, than what my company can bring me. I think it's common courtesy to ask to take home leftovers, but I'm more than happy for everyone to take everything home because it'll just go to waste anyway.

I don't know if you're being overly critical, you're just the way you are. I'm a bit more laid back and I do believe in live and let live. I don't think you should expect people to live their lives and uphold certain standards just because you do, and doing so will pretty much just have you in a constant state of frustration since you feel like you're giving 100% and everyone else is being half @ssed. 100% is subjective though. And someone else may very well feel like canned food IS giving 100%

To me that is a little critical, it is also a little passive agressive. In one scenario did you ask them to bring anything to the GTG, if not don't expect people to know that they are supposed to do that, Normally when I go to someone's home I ask where they would like me to put my jacket usually it is because they are preoccupied with other things such as the food or seating etc. This is just my opinion. Everyone cook differently and is as efficient as maybe you or I so I never judge regardless if it was canned or delivery I am just thankful I have freinds who want me to come to dinner

I'll admit, I struggle with this every day! It seems to be my nature to be critical.

I always try to see the other persons prespective. We all have very different views of right/wrong, good etiquette/bad etiquette, etc. I think I've gotten much better at accepting people for who they are. If it's not life or death, I let it go.

The only I cannot deal with is nasty people (no excuse), and lazy people.

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Posted by susans

1. When I go over someone's house, the first thing I do is remove my coat and ask where I can put it. I think it would be nice if my coat be taken from me, but I don't expect it.

2. The 2 hours would have irked me, but the canned stuff...probably not. If these people are friends of mine, I wouldn't want them to put themselves out on my account. I'm more appreciative of the invite and a night of good company as opposed to the food that's on the table. There HAS TO be wine though.

3. When I host GTGs in my home I don't expect anyone to bring anything. I think it's a nice gesture for those who do, but don't think any less of those who don't. Again, I'm more for the company and a good evening, than what my company can bring me. I think it's common courtesy to ask to take home leftovers, but I'm more than happy for everyone to take everything home because it'll just go to waste anyway.

I don't know if you're being overly critical, you're just the way you are. I'm a bit more laid back and I do believe in live and let live. I don't think you should expect people to live their lives and uphold certain standards just because you do, and doing so will pretty much just have you in a constant state of frustration since you feel like you're giving 100% and everyone else is being half @ssed. 100% is subjective though. And someone else may very well feel like canned food IS giving 100%

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I agree 100%.....
I know for myself, this whole entertaining thing is new....so when I have guests at the door I may not ask them about their coat b/c I am more worried about not burning dinner, having enough wine, whether the house is clean enough etc....

I certainly think I have manners and if I asked you over, I would never expect you to bring anything but yourselves....

I am just really laid back like that...

Sometimes I forget there are those unspoken etiquette rules people are supposed to follow....oh well...it's just not me....

The only thing I want to worry about is if everyone is having a good time!

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Posted by peeweesgirl

To me that is a little critical, it is also a little passive agressive. In one scenario did you ask them to bring anything to the GTG, if not don't expect people to know that they are supposed to do that, Normally when I go to someone's home I ask where they would like me to put my jacket usually it is because they are preoccupied with other things such as the food or seating etc. This is just my opinion. Everyone cook differently and is as efficient as maybe you or I so I never judge regardless if it was canned or delivery I am just thankful I have freinds who want me to come to dinner

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No, I did not ask them to bring anything.
IMO, it is not expected but polite to bring something when someone invites you to their home.

However I am happy to give away leftovers, just wait until I tell you it is ok, before taking the aluminum foil and wrapping up a plate.

Also, the food being from a can did not bother me, but to make me wait 2 hours to eat.

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Posted by nrvbrd

Also, the food being from a can did not bother me, but to make me wait 2 hours to eat.

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Were there appetizers or snacks on the table?

We generally have our guests sit in the LR with a beverage and some sort of appetizer while they unwind from their drive to the house and it allows me to put the finishing touches on dinner. We usually eat about an hour after the stated arrival time. (Give or take).

I would never sit in my coat for 5 minutes - I would take the coat off and that would usually prompt the host to take it or tell you where to put it. Actually, as a hostess, if I made a mistake like that I would be a bit insulted if a friend I invited to my home stood on ceremony by sitting in their coat.

I agree that it's customary to bring something as a guest, but anytime a guest asks what they can bring I will ALWAYS say nothing so I can not fault a guest for not bringing any thing.

I tend to be more laid back so I try not to let things bother me and just enjoy the company.

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Posted by ChristineC68

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Posted by nrvbrd

Also, the food being from a can did not bother me, but to make me wait 2 hours to eat.

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Were there appetizers or snacks on the table?

We generally have our guests sit in the LR with a beverage and some sort of appetizer while they unwind from their drive to the house and it allows me to put the finishing touches on dinner. We usually eat about an hour after the stated arrival time. (Give or take).

I would never sit in my coat for 5 minutes - I would take the coat off and that would usually prompt the host to take it or tell you where to put it. Actually, as a hostess, if I made a mistake like that I would be a bit insulted if a friend I invited to my home stood on ceremony by sitting in their coat.

I agree that it's customary to bring something as a guest, but anytime a guest ask what they can bring I will ALWAYS say nothing so I can not fault a guest for not bringing any thing.

I tend to be more laid back so I try not to let things bother me and just enjoy the company.

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No snacks right away. In fact they called us as we pulled up to their house to ask us to stop at the store and bring dip for the potato chips. We did not because we were already at the house, so the guy went to the store to get the dip.


Peewee, the people taking the foil and such were people I had just met that day.

I know I may come across as expecting too much from people, but as I said when I have people over I go above and beyond to make them feel comfortable, so that they want for nothing.

I have appetizers up the wazoo, a million types of drinks, and a variety of stuff to eat.

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Posted by nrvbrd

No snacks right away. In fact they called us as we pulled up to their house to ask us to stop at the store and bring dip for the potato chips. We did not because we were already at the house, so the guy went to the store to get the dip.

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yeah, that's pretty bad.

One of my aunts used to do that to us. We just got used to it and she had so many other good qualities, we were not going to hold being disorganized against her.

I think you are too critical. I don't think that makes you a bad person, I just think its sets you up for constatnly being frustrated. Not everyone was raised the same way or has the same manners. People do things the wrong way all the time. I agree with you about everything you said but honestly, none of that would bother me. I would hand my coat to you if you didn't take it or I would leave it next to me until you did. I never go to anyone's house without eating something first. I might hate the food anyway so its safer if I eat first. I figure people do the best they can and out of the can is some people's best. If they invite you to dinner, it's more to share your company anyway.
Taking food to go is a cultural thing-its expected. I also think its rude to just start wrapping up your plate but I guarantee you that a lot of people would disagree with us. That's why people don't wait to be told its okay, they expect to take the food home.
These are grown people with their own habits by now. They are not going to learn social etiquette now. As long as the intention is not to be rude, you should just let it go.

I thank you all for your responses.

However I have to say I am not critcizing the food coming out of a can, if that is what they are offering then so be it, BUT again how long does it take to prepare?????

This is my daily prayer in my life girl. It is not easy. I just have to remember that not everyone is like me, so I do my best to ignore a lot of things

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Posted by susans

1. When I go over someone's house, the first thing I do is remove my coat and ask where I can put it. I think it would be nice if my coat be taken from me, but I don't expect it.

2. The 2 hours would have irked me, but the canned stuff...probably not. If these people are friends of mine, I wouldn't want them to put themselves out on my account. I'm more appreciative of the invite and a night of good company as opposed to the food that's on the table. There HAS TO be wine though.

3. When I host GTGs in my home I don't expect anyone to bring anything. I think it's a nice gesture for those who do, but don't think any less of those who don't. Again, I'm more for the company and a good evening, than what my company can bring me. I think it's common courtesy to ask to take home leftovers, but I'm more than happy for everyone to take everything home because it'll just go to waste anyway.

I don't know if you're being overly critical, you're just the way you are. I'm a bit more laid back and I do believe in live and let live. I don't think you should expect people to live their lives and uphold certain standards just because you do, and doing so will pretty much just have you in a constant state of frustration since you feel like you're giving 100% and everyone else is being half @ssed. 100% is subjective though. And someone else may very well feel like canned food IS giving 100%

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well said susans.

Kiesha

1. with the coat, when i walk into the house i take the coat off, and most often the host will take it...
2. somethings can taste good being made with can type stuff, but if the stuff tasted bad i might wonder why the person doesnt order pizza instead or something..

3. the plate and foil in hand is just plain rude, guests are suppose to wait until offered, and the hostess dish out the food unless they tell the person to take what they want...

and i would be annoyed if they didnt bring something over. Now some people just dont know( like my fh who tells me that i dont need to make anything for his family events) But girls/couples i think from being raised a certain way know to bring something when you go over to a house...

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Posted by susans

2. The 2 hours would have irked me, but the canned stuff...probably not. If these people are friends of mine, I wouldn't want them to put themselves out on my account. I'm more appreciative of the invite and a night of good company as opposed to the food that's on the table. There HAS TO be wine though.

3. When I host GTGs in my home I don't expect anyone to bring anything. I think it's a nice gesture for those who do, but don't think any less of those who don't. Again, I'm more for the company and a good evening, than what my company can bring me. I think it's common courtesy to ask to take home leftovers, but I'm more than happy for everyone to take everything home because it'll just go to waste anyway.
:

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what about good food but the guests dont have wine?

also how is it common courtesy to ask to take home leftovers, but not common courtesy to bring over something? After all the person is supplying a whole meal of dinner, dessert, beverages...?