I will be the first to admit I am a very critical person. I do not like this about myself but I have to admit sometimes people make do not make it easy for me.
I think I get the most annoyed when I feel as though people are not giving their 100%.
A few examples of my criticisms:
1. Went to someone's house sat in my coat for 5 minutes and they did not tell me where to hang it- I had to ask
2. Went to dinner at a friend's house- made DH and I wait 2 hours to eat- I was starving- come to find out 3/4 of the stuff came out of a can.
3. Had a GTG at my home- some people did not bring anything, but at tne end of the night had plate and foil in hand trying to take stuff home, without even being offered first.
I have been told that I should live and let live, and be accepting of the fact that people are different and not everyone would do things as I would.
I try to take this into consideration, but sometimes I am like screw it!
Anyone else like this?
IrishTracy
Posted:
Member since
Re: When are you being too critical????
Posted by nrvbrd 3. Had a GTG at my home- some people did not bring anything, but at tne end of the night had plate and foil in hand trying to take stuff home, without even being offered first.
My brother did that last Thanksgiving. He & his partner showed up late. Hands swinging! It's a family function & everyone else brought something. My other brothers girlfriend made 2 batches of cookies. We put one out on the table. My brother & his partner left before everyone else & took the second batch of cookies w/out even asking. Plus other plates!! The rest of my family sat there in disbelief!!
curly2003
Posted:
Member since
Re: When are you being too critical????
Posted by Sage10.03
Posted by susans
1. When I go over someone's house, the first thing I do is remove my coat and ask where I can put it. I think it would be nice if my coat be taken from me, but I don't expect it.
2. The 2 hours would have irked me, but the canned stuff...probably not. If these people are friends of mine, I wouldn't want them to put themselves out on my account. I'm more appreciative of the invite and a night of good company as opposed to the food that's on the table. There HAS TO be wine though.
3. When I host GTGs in my home I don't expect anyone to bring anything. I think it's a nice gesture for those who do, but don't think any less of those who don't. Again, I'm more for the company and a good evening, than what my company can bring me. I think it's common courtesy to ask to take home leftovers, but I'm more than happy for everyone to take everything home because it'll just go to waste anyway.
I don't know if you're being overly critical, you're just the way you are. I'm a bit more laid back and I do believe in live and let live. I don't think you should expect people to live their lives and uphold certain standards just because you do, and doing so will pretty much just have you in a constant state of frustration since you feel like you're giving 100% and everyone else is being half @ssed. 100% is subjective though. And someone else may very well feel like canned food IS giving 100%
I agree 100%..... I know for myself, this whole entertaining thing is new....so when I have guests at the door I may not ask them about their coat b/c I am more worried about not burning dinner, having enough wine, whether the house is clean enough etc....
I certainly think I have manners and if I asked you over, I would never expect you to bring anything but yourselves....
I am just really laid back like that...
Sometimes I forget there are those unspoken etiquette rules people are supposed to follow....oh well...it's just not me....
The only thing I want to worry about is if everyone is having a good time!
I am the same way
susans
Posted:
Member since
Re: When are you being too critical????
Posted by butterfly20
what about good food but the guests dont have wine?
also how is it common courtesy to ask to take home leftovers, but not common courtesy to bring over something? After all the person is supplying a whole meal of dinner, dessert, beverages...?
I was joking about the wine. Serious about the company.
I think that it IS common courtesy to bring something over to someone house, when you're invited. As a guest I always do, but as a HOSTESS, I never EXPECT it from others, whether or not that's how I I was raised.
I accept that not everyone was raised like me and I'm not going to pass judgement on anyone for not having the same manners that I do. Also, I assume that if you're being invited into my home it's because you're my friend and I therefore would never expect that a friend bring something in exchange for the invitation. Like I said, I'd consider it a nice gesture, but never necessary. We have the same friends over on a weekly basis. It would bother me if they brought somehthing over EVERY time, to be honest.
I didn't mean that taking home or offering leftovers was common courtesy. I meant that if people want to take home leftovers, I assume it would be common courtesy ON THEIR part, to ASK the hostess if it's okay.
Cooking a meal for people doesn't entitle me to a bottle of wine or a free dessert. I don't EVER feel put out when I entertain my friends. No matter how much I prepare, how much I spend or whatnot. When I supply an entire meal, soup to nuts, appetixers to dessert, I am doing so to show appreciation for my friends, to thank them for joining me for the evening and for the joy that I get for a night of good company. I don't expect anything in return besides a gracious thank you at the end of the night and I don't think less of my friends who choose to come empty handed.
Sometimes hosting dinner is just for the sake of hosting dinner. It's not so that I can nit pick the manners of others or have others question my own social graces.
curly2003
Posted:
Member since
Re: When are you being too critical????
Posted by Tammy5/03
I think you are too critical. I don't think that makes you a bad person, I just think its sets you up for constatnly being frustrated. Not everyone was raised the same way or has the same manners. People do things the wrong way all the time. I agree with you about everything you said but honestly, none of that would bother me. I would hand my coat to you if you didn't take it or I would leave it next to me until you did. I never go to anyone's house without eating something first. I might hate the food anyway so its safer if I eat first. I figure people do the best they can and out of the can is some people's best. If they invite you to dinner, it's more to share your company anyway. Taking food to go is a cultural thing-its expected. I also think its rude to just start wrapping up your plate but I guarantee you that a lot of people would disagree with us. That's why people don't wait to be told its okay, they expect to take the food home. These are grown people with their own habits by now. They are not going to learn social etiquette now. As long as the intention is not to be rude, you should just let it go.
People come to my house and are just so so comfortable that they put their coats in the coat closet themselves, lol. I was all up in latina's fridge on Sun, lol. Rude, maybe, but I am comfortable around my friends and I want them to be too.
nrvbrd
Posted:
Member since
Re: When are you being too critical????
Posted by curly2003
People come to my house and are just so so comfortable that they put their coats in the coat closet themselves, lol. I was all up in latina's fridge on Sun, lol. Rude, maybe, but I am comfortable around my friends and I want them to be too.
The three things I posted happened on three separate occasions.
1. The coat thing- this was the first time I was ever at this person's home, so I really was not comfortable to just put my coat away.
I agree that you SHOULD be comfortable around your friends.
I have GTG because I want to,not to neccesarily nitpick, but there are some things you cannot help but notice about people.
Xelindrya
Posted:
Member since
Re: When are you being too critical????
I qualify as the laid back. I came (as we all know now ) from a place where having good friends was enough. Having food on the table is a blessing and more so to share it with people I care for.
HOWEVER, personally I try never to go to someone's house without bringing something. But I was raised that way.
I Do ask where to put my jacket, but that's only because I figure they've forgot to tell me. I'd rather they did NOT take my jacket without showing me where it's going. I guess I like quick escapes! hehe
Calling you on the way in for dip is a bit out of hand. I'd be horrified if I forgot something and had to ask a guest to bring it in. Actually I'm sure I could NEVER call and say 'hey pick up..' I love appetizers so I'd be sure there'd be some out.
2hours is a bit long especially if you haven't told them. Sort of 'Lets meet around 6 and catch up, I'll make dinner and we will probably sit to eat around 8 or so?'
curly2003
Posted:
Member since
Re: When are you being too critical????
Posted by nrvbrd
Posted by curly2003
People come to my house and are just so so comfortable that they put their coats in the coat closet themselves, lol. I was all up in latina's fridge on Sun, lol. Rude, maybe, but I am comfortable around my friends and I want them to be too.
The three things I posted happened on three separate occasions.
1. The coat thing- this was the first time I was ever at this person's home, so I really was not comfortable to just put my coat away.
I agree that you SHOULD be comfortable around your friends.
I have GTG because I want to,not to neccesarily nitpick, but there are some things you cannot help but notice about people.
