When it rains, it pours right?

Re: When it rains, it pours right?

thank you
I just want him to suck it up, and work at a learning center.
$20 an hour is 20x better than what he's getting now, right? I see this, YOU see this, but he doesn't get it.

Re: When it rains, it pours right?

I wish I could find the perfect words right now to ease your pain, but I don't. Please don't make yourself sick over it because that is not going to help the situation. This has got to be so hard for you to sit back and watch him do nothing to help himself in more ways then he knows.

I know that you said you have tried every approach and men are stubborn in general but if you tell him that this is putting a strain on your relationship and your getting sick over it, he might understand where your coming from. Paying for a wedding is hard enough and to do it alone is very very stressful. My advice would be to tell him it's not healthy for you and him. If that doesn't work then maybe someone else can get him out of this rut like one of his buddies. He is probably very frustrated right now also but he has got to get out there even if it means a pay cut. It will happen he's just got to be patient.
Hope this helped

Re: When it rains, it pours right?

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Posted by Shorty McBride

thank you
I just want him to suck it up, and work at a learning center.
$20 an hour is 20x better than what he's getting now, right? I see this, YOU see this, but he doesn't get it.

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FOR REAL

i wish i made 20 bucks an hour!

Re: When it rains, it pours right?

I don't even make $20 bucks an hour

Re: When it rains, it pours right?

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Posted by sugarkube4

I don't even make $20 bucks an hour

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me neither

Re: When it rains, it pours right?

20 bucks an hour is much better then nothing at all!!! I am sure he is just being a stubborn man like most men can be!! He wants what he went to school for.. and I don't blame him.. but in the meantime.. you need to explain to him that he should work where anyone would accept him for now until something better comes along. Something is better then nothing! Hang in there.. things will get better, but you just need to take charge and tell him he needs to show you that he can be a man and help out with the financial situation and that you are just driving yourself crazy and its eating you up inside!

Re: When it rains, it pours right?

Would he consider subbing? A long term leave is a great way to meet people in a district. Or a TA position? Lots of people get in the door that way. Is he certified to coach anything? Do you think he would tutor kids privately? What about parochial school or private school? Both are good for experience. FWIW, $20 an hour, times 8 hours a day, times 52 weeks a year is $41,600. Take out a few weeks for vacation/sick, and you have yourself (roughly) a starting teacher salary. I really hope you find resolution soon, I've been where you are, and I know how frightening and frustrating it can be.

Re: When it rains, it pours right?

I just sent you FM
Please don't make yourself sick over this I know things seem really bad at the moment but sometimes in order for things to be good you gotta go through some S-H-I-T. When things do get better and they will your FH will realize why he proposed to you and how much of a good friend, fiance and person you are to stand by him the way you are. Men have egos that sometimes are bigger than their brains.

Re: When it rains, it pours right?

Nicole you KNOW im in the same position as you! Please feel free to FM me- were going through this together- as I told u in the GTG my richie also didnt get a job and hes torn- seems like everyone is getting a job except him (- although I got a job- its at a private school and well you know what that means- so there is NOOO way in H E LL we can make it like that

so please ladies pray for the two teacher richies to get jobs!!!!!
I know how important it is to both myself and Nicole!!!!
Pleaseee we need all the love and prayers we can get!!!!

Nic please FM me if you need anything im here!!!

Re: When it rains, it pours right?

im here for you sweetie!!!!

Ill keep praying something pops up for the richie teachers !@!!!!

Re: When it rains, it pours right?

You are an incredibly strong and sweet girl.. and you and FH can get through this... he's prolly a little (or alot ) depressed that he can't be the 'man' and provide and all that stuff that was drilled into our heads growing up...
but you are sticking by him... hopefully soon (very soon) he will snap out of it... maybe a few job fairs? consider relocating to somewhere close to li like Nj (lots of teaching jobs here so i hear.. a bunch of fh's friends are teachers) and its super easy to get certified and find jobs (1000% better then LI)... not saying its guarenteed but its a less saturated job market 1 hour away... I hope he knows how sick you are getting over this... maybe drilling that into his head will snap him out of it? But Do not continue to make yourself sick over something like this... he will find employment, he'll get out of his funk and you are being the super supportive wife to be...
If you need to talk send me an Fm...
and im sending oodles of ur way !
and a prayer can't hurt either...

Re: When it rains, it pours right?

Re: When it rains, it pours right?

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Posted by Shorty McBride

thank you
I just want him to suck it up, and work at a learning center.
$20 an hour is 20x better than what he's getting now, right? I see this, YOU see this, but he doesn't get it.

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thats about what I make now, he should take that..

Re: When it rains, it pours right?

Nicole

sorry you are going through a tough time. We are all here for you if you need us. I can understand that he doesnt want to take a step down but he has to put his feelings aside for your wedding and your future together. I think he's just really down and out and its going to take some time for him to realize that he may have to start at the bottom again and work his way up. It will work out for you both..

Re: When it rains, it pours right?

Feel better hon! Things will brighten up soon. You and him will work through everything together.

Re: When it rains, it pours right?

Nicole, I am so sorry you are going through this. I agree $20 an hour is better than $0. Anything is better than $0-especially when saving for a wedding. Guy's egos are too funny-they would rather sit and not be productive than go out and make less than they are worth-I don't get it! Don't make yourself sick over this. Give him some time, and hopefully he will come around. Yes-keep bringing it up but try not to be forceful. Easier said than done, right? FM if you want to talk.

Re: When it rains, it pours right?

Re: When it rains, it pours right?

I hope things get better. Another cliche is, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I hope this come quickly for you!!!!!

Re: When it rains, it pours right?

Thanks sooooo much for all the love, ladies

It really helps to know that others have been in the same situation...and yes, i know it will get better, and this is only 1 crisis out of the many we will face as husband and wife...etc.

Its just scary, and i guess i needed to get it out

Last night, he PROMISED me that he is going to take a job by next week. He has a list of calls to make today, and HOPEFULLY one of them will work out.

I really appreciate all the support here and in FMs
I'm hanging in!

GO METS!