When Multiple People Are Paying for Wedding

Hi everyone! I thought my parents would be paying for the wedding, but they have decided to only pay for a portion. I've had to contribute a LOT, and my fiance's parents have offered to help, too. If they can, that's great (so far, they haven't given us anything) but now I'm getting concerned about the OTHER things, like the rehearsal dinner, bridal shower, etc. Usually one person's parents pay for the wedding and the other side pays for the rehearsal dinner, etc. and it's more simple and clear-cut. But in this case everyone is basically paying for the wedding, so no one has offered to take care of anything else. I don't want my bridesmaids to get stuck with paying for a shower, and I don't think I can pay for a rehearsal dinner now that I'm paying for a huge portion of the wedding. Has anyone been in this situation? Any wisdom or ideas? Thanks!

Re: When Multiple People Are Paying for Wedding

We're in somewhat of the same situation. I never really expected my folks to pay for the wedding (for various reasons that I won't go into), but they actually offered a significant chunk of money that they just called an 'engagement gift' and said we can do whatever we wanted with it (home improvements, wedding, travel, etc.). We're putting it towards the wedding. My grandmother JUST told us last night that she was planning to give us some money too, but I think she intended it to be used for a honeymoon. Since we weren't sure as of yesterday if we were even going to get one, we'll happily oblige that condition. FH's mother is a widow and on a very fixed income. I don't believe she's able to contribute anything. We're just happy she'll be able to get here from Florida for the wedding. We're doing the rest ourselves.

For the rehearsal dinner, we're just looking at the best possible ways to save money (Backyard BBQ? Inexpensive location with inexpensive catering?), but we haven't devised a plan yet. We're hoping it's doable.

As for the shower, I think my girls were PLANNING to absorb the cost of that. I've thrown several baby/bridal showers with these girls and for MOST of them family contribution has been minimal if at all. Then again, when my brother got married, my mother and I did most of the planning for my SIL's shower and I *think* my mother footed the whole bill. She did it at her house, though, so costs weren't extravagant.

Hope that gives you *some* useful ideas...

Re: When Multiple People Are Paying for Wedding

Hmm...this is tough. For the RD, you can keep it small (bridal party only) and have it at your house. A shower at your mom's or a friend's house would be great too- you could have each BM make something instead of bringing a gift so there isnt too much out of pocket for anyone.

When Multiple People Are Paying for Wedding

we are doing a bbq or pizza/ italian catering at my moms (near the RH) for rehearsal dinner.

the shower, i have had to split it with a bride's mom and all the bms and it felt weird to do so as a BM. you can also have someone have this at their house, and minimize # guests to minimize costs?

When Multiple People Are Paying for Wedding

There is no longer a rule of who pays for what. We are paying for our entire wedding and RD. We knew this going in and set our budget accordingly.
For the bridal shower, it is probably being given to me by my mom and sisters. I do have a friend and FSIL in my bridal party, but I am sure they will help out somehow.

When Multiple People Are Paying for Wedding

I think these are all good ideas, thank you!

When Multiple People Are Paying for Wedding

We ran into the same thing. My bridal party along with both sets of parents threw me a shower over the summer in the backyard. As for RD, you can invite immediate family & bridal party for brunch or dinner at your house to save some $$. I know some brides/grooms have ended up paying for their own RD.

When Multiple People Are Paying for Wedding

My advice is to have a flat out conversation with everyone who plans on contributing. You need to know what they intend on giving you and what they intend on paying for so you know exactly what is in and not in your budget.

My parents are paying a huge chunk and my FH's parents (divorced) will be paying for some things here and there. His mom told us she will be giving us a flat amount and we can spend however we need-- keep it as a gift or put it toward the wedding. His dad also gave us a bit of a total as well as his intentions to fund the rehearsal dinner. This conversation HAD to happen because money is a huge source of contention so now we know and can plan accordingly, no surprises, and no let downs. Good luck!

When Multiple People Are Paying for Wedding

Maybe you could make a list of everything that needs to get paid for, sit them down all together and go thru the list one by one. That way, it's very clear what is needed and who is committing to which parts of the wedding.

When Multiple People Are Paying for Wedding

For me, My FH’s Father is paying for half of everything (RH, Photography, Flowers). My mom is paying for 25% of the RH, DJ and my dress. If we go over the minimum she will pay the difference. My mom and Sister are doing my shower. But I’m sure it will be in my backyard and my in-laws will cook. As for the RD, it will be low key, a BBQ at my mom’s house. I know my aunts will contribute. Then the after party will be at my mom’s house. Her backyard is huge so we can use different parts of the yard / house for each event. My thing is saving for the other things.

When Multiple People Are Paying for Wedding

We are paying for the whole thing ourselves. My parents paid for my dress and favors. His family is not contributing at all. The bridal shower my mother is doing but we are having it in my pants backyard which is perfect for me since I like it casual. Since we have to pay for the rehearsal dinner we are having a backyard bbq and I will cook some baked ziti and veggies and maybe we will get a hero. Thats all we can afford lol