Is it better to appear eager to banquet managers or play hard to get? If you play hard to get, I guess they'd want to 'chase' you more and offer you incentives to find their place more attractive. On the other hand, I think if you act super interested, they'll know that you have good potential to be a customer and they're not wasting any time putting together a fair package for you.
Which do I do???
SoontobeMrsH
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Re: When searching for an RH...
hmmn I am wondering the same thing, altho they know we're very interested, and we rec'd out written quote, I wanna try to neg. but I think I got a a great deal... I tried acting uninterested & finding somthing not to love about all the RH I looked at, to try to seem , ah but def not impressed... The RH I think we;re going to go with I didn't do it, b/c I think I subconsiously 'knew'
Mrs. V 2008
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Re: When searching for an RH...
Yes..play alittle hard to get...they end up throwing things in for free and will work with you more..At least thats what I found!
Chrissywish
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Re: When searching for an RH...
i'm going for the PITA answer of a happy medium. You want to appear aloof enough that they want to throw in enough to make you happy...however you want to be excited and interested enough that they know you are serious
SoontobeMrsH
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Re: When searching for an RH...
Posted by Bride 2 Be
Yes..play alittle hard to get...they end up throwing things in for free and will work with you more..At least thats what I found!
what point were you at?
beachbum05
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Re: When searching for an RH...
Honestly....I feel like they're a business. If you don't want to book them on that day, someone else will.
I think when you get to the contract stage though, and you talk about price, thats when you can play hardball.... but I wouldn't do that until you have a contract in hand.
Mrs. V 2008
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Re: When searching for an RH...
Posted by perfectpair
Posted by Bride 2 Be
Yes..play alittle hard to get...they end up throwing things in for free and will work with you more..At least thats what I found!
what point were you at?
right when i was ready to book! I wasn't sure if i could make the minimum and stuff like that..and he said he would really work with me..
SoontobeMrsH
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Re: When searching for an RH...
thanks, we can make the min & will most likely reach the max... what did you think of my quote
DavaDay
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Re: When searching for an RH...
Thanks for your responses, because we haven't met with too many BMs, and I feel like I don't know what I'm doing. We're only interested in having a pretty small wedding at a country inn in New England, and have only found one that really has all the things we want. The place is wide open now for 2008 (apparently things move slower up there) so I don't really have a strong bargaining position, I don't think - if he doesn't get my business, he'll get someone else's when they book for June 2008 six months from now.
The innkeeper said he'd have a contract proposal for me last Thursday, then when I didn't hear anything I e-mailed him and he said he'd have it Monday, then when I didn't hear anything I e-mailed him this morning and he said he'd have it by the end of the day today. I hate feeling like I'm chasing after him like that - like I'm showing too much interest, so he'll think he can take advantage. Ugh! Sorry I'm babbling, but I'm SO NERVOUS about finally getting this contract proposal and figuring out if we can really afford this place.
Collweenie21
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Re: When searching for an RH...
Posted by beachbum05
Honestly....I feel like they're a business. If you don't want to book them on that day, someone else will.
I think when you get to the contract stage though, and you talk about price, thats when you can play hardball.... but I wouldn't do that until you have a contract in hand.
I couldn't agree more. And I think they can sort of tell when you're excited about it. Me and my FH found it hard to hide!
DavaDay
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Re: When searching for an RH...
I think you're right, and that I totally played it wrong when I was there for a tour. We spent about 2 hours walking around, talking about stuff with the innkeeper, and I was in this real businesslike frame of mind, not really showing emotion, trying to be a wise consumer. But inside, I was like, 'YESSSS!! This place is awesome!' FH is always so laid back and calm, he didn't show too much emotion either. So I think the innkeeper kind of wrote us off as mildly interested, which is why he's not getting back to me so fast. When the truth is, after we saw this place for the first time a month ago, we stopped looking at other places! This place is it. I hope I didn't mess it up too bad.
MJDoc12
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Re: When searching for an RH...
i found just acting kind of right in the middle, helped. don't seem too anxious...but don't act like you don't care. in a way, don't show much emotion. kind of like bluffing at a card game! just be attentive and ask plenty of questions, and take notes of things you liked and didn't like. that way the BM sees that you pay attention to details and won't just jump at the first price he/she throws at you!
Collweenie21
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Re: When searching for an RH...
Nah, I don't think you messed it up! I'm sure they will still gladly take your money ! And if you know the place is it, then it is!!!!
Belongs2DanBuckley
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Re: When searching for an RH...
I think its like reeling in a fish...you gotta give some slack and then pull it in...its a little backand forth but eventually you get to reel it in, take it home and mount it on your wall...or cook it and serve it as your 3rd dinner choice in NE...LOL Good luck...
honestly don't take my advice...i'm a lost cause
DavaDay
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Re: When searching for an RH...
Yeah, Jessica, I can see from your 'Wedding Location' statement there under your pic.
I know you're going through a tough time with RHs but think of it this way - some of us are searching so hard for a place we love (look at poor Maureen in the 09 boards. She's looked at like 30 places and is going crazy!), and you've found 2 that you really love and would be happy to be married at. If you pick either one, you'll have the wedding of your dreams. You can't go wrong either way. I know it's annoying now, but hey, nothing wrong with having too MANY great options. I'm just hoping to find one.
ant n tilde
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Re: When searching for an RH...
here is what you should NOT do:
1. do not SKIP through the lobby 2. do not burst into tears when you see the room 3. do NOT walk around with FH and do wedding poses and say 'oh look we can take this picture here' 4. do NOT go on and on about how your mom, FMIL and second cousin will fall in love with the place 5. do NOT scream out how much you love fireplaces when they have them every two feet
PLEASE learn from MY mistakes - i mean i booked there but i am sure we didn't get the best possible deal!
GOOD LUCK!
DavaDay
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Re: When searching for an RH...
I love the image of you running around posing for imaginary pictures. So cute!
I did exactly the opposite, but look where it got me: the guy told me he'd e-mail me a contract proposal (he's in CT, too far away to go up in person to pick it up) last week, then moved it to Monday, then to today, and it's already 4:00 PM and I still don't have it. I'm going crazy!!!
Espo22
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Re: When searching for an RH...
Hey it doesn't hurt to negotiate, most of them will throw in stuff for you. We even mentioned someones name that they knew to get something.
DavaDay
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Re: When searching for an RH...
Okay, this is his e-mail:
'Hi Dava,
You will have it by the end of today. Sorry for the delay.
Have a great holiday. Michael'
It's pretty clear, right? 'By the end of today.' It's already 4:30! AARRGGGHHHHHH!!!!!
LuvMyAlfonse
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Re: When searching for an RH...
did you get the contract yet Dava? I have my fingers crossed for you! I hope you can afford it too, I know this place is your dream RH - if you can't make it, I'll set up a fundraiser for you!
DARN IT MICHAEL, SEND HER THE FRIGGING CONTRACT ALREADY!!!! GRRRRRRR!
