When you can't go to a wedding....

Original post by Suz

Feb 24, 2003 08:45 PM

If you respond no to a wedding, do you send a gift and/or card? And if you do, when do you send it?

Thanks, We were having a dispute about this today at work.

christine1221 Posted: Feb 25, 2003 12:44 PM

Re: When you can't go to a wedding....

We got both. Some no's had checks included, some sent gifts later. Some did not send gifts at all.

ssdare Posted: Feb 25, 2003 12:44 PM

Re: When you can't go to a wedding....

I don't think one is obligated to send a gift if they can't attend the wedding. But, it is a nice gesture to send a gift. I think it depends on your relationship with the couple. If you do send a gift, I think you are free to send at anytime and not necessarily with the response card.

susans Posted: Feb 25, 2003 12:48 PM

Re: When you can't go to a wedding....

We didn't get any checks with our 'no's' but we did get cards and gifts from people that said they weren't coming.
If I wasn't going to a wedding, I'd send the gift, or check in a card, seperately.

This is just my opinion, but if I got a check with the RSVP, I'd feel like it was 'no, but here's some money anyway'
LOL
I'd rather get a wedding card with a check or gift with a note closer to the day. That's just me though. Not sure of the etiquette.

Scoop Posted: Feb 25, 2003 12:48 PM

Re: When you can't go to a wedding....

I send the gift with my no response....just so I don't have to bother with it later.

LizD Posted: Feb 25, 2003 12:58 PM

Re: When you can't go to a wedding....

We got some checks with the no repsonse, but others came later, closer to the wedding in a card. I thought that was really nice. We were not expecting that at all.

tracyg Posted: Feb 25, 2003 01:25 PM

Re: When you can't go to a wedding....

Don't be surprised if you get 'no' gifts close to wedding. I was bad and sent a check and card a month after cousins wedding. I had to wait for HIS address from my mom first. At least i got him something (we're not THAT close)

debbus Posted: Feb 25, 2003 01:40 PM

Re: When you can't go to a wedding....

We got a few checks with the response card, and a few gifts around the wedding.
Most of our guests that said no, didn't send anything.

As many of you know we had 13 no shows at the reception, 3 couples out of that never sent us a thing, not even a card!!!

Still makes me mad, 5 months later!!
You never know what people are thinking!

Niecey Posted: Feb 25, 2003 02:19 PM

Re: When you can't go to a wedding....

I hardly say no to a wedding, but when I do I always send a gift. Depending on my relationship with the couple will depend what or how I send it.

I got a total mix. Most sent it with the no response. A few gave a separate card - either at the same time or within a couple of weeks. Many did not give a gift. Some sent it after the wedding (even a month plus later). 2 people (one who came to the wedding and one who did not) both said they will give us a gift but my wedding was Oct. and haven't seen it...I say why say anything????