Who is 'hosting?'

BNBride60 Posted: Aug 06, 2007 09:27 PM

Who is 'hosting?'

For the purposes of my invitation - who is 'hosting' this wedding? Here is the money breakdown.

My parents - $40,000
FH's parents - $10,000
Me and FH - anything and everything else.

I know FH and I aren't hosting - but are my parents hosting alone, or are both parents hosting? My parents' money is covering the entire reception hall, all the flowers, and my dress. FH's parents' money is covering the ceremony, the RD, the band and part of the photog.

What do you guys think?

Mrs. V 2008 Posted: Aug 06, 2007 09:29 PM

Re: Who is 'hosting?'

I would say your parents since they are contributing the most, and they are the brides parents!! thats how i want to do mine also! my parents are paying for the same things!!!

BNBride60 Posted: Aug 06, 2007 09:31 PM

Re: Who is 'hosting?'

Posted by Bride 2 Be

I would say your parents since they are contributing the most, and they are the brides parents!! thats how i want to do mine also! my parents are paying for the same things!!!

i agree - i totally feel like my parents are the ones hosting this thing. but, i don't want to seem like i'm not appreciative of FH's parents - i realize they are giving a substantial amount of money as well. someone suggested putting their name after my FH's name ('Joe S., son of Suzette and Leonard S.') and I will definitely do that, but I'm wondering if I should do even more than that.

Jesses Girl Posted: Aug 06, 2007 09:33 PM

Re: Who is 'hosting?'

i would include both bc both are helping out...

like hosted by the parents of >>>bride and the parents of groom...

ant n tilde Posted: Aug 06, 2007 09:36 PM

Re: Who is 'hosting?'

Posted by Jesses Girl

i would include both bc both are helping out...

like hosted by the parents of >>>bride and the parents of groom...

that is what i did
i put

Matilde
and
Anthony

together with their parents
Mr and Mrs Matilde's parents
and
Mr and Mrs Anthony's parents

* even tho my parents are contributing and his haven't so far. . . i feel like it is a respect thing

sweetdreamz1181 Posted: Aug 06, 2007 09:37 PM

Re: Who is 'hosting?'

maybe this can help you.......

mr and mrs (your parents)
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
you
to
FH
son of mr and mrs (fh parents)

it lets your parents do the invite yet still shows his parents are involved!

BNBride60 Posted: Aug 06, 2007 09:39 PM

Re: Who is 'hosting?'

Posted by ant n tilde

Posted by Jesses Girl

i would include both bc both are helping out...

like hosted by the parents of >>>bride and the parents of groom...

that is what i did
i put

Matilde
and
Anthony

together with their parents
Mr and Mrs Matilde's parents
and
Mr and Mrs Anthony's parents

* even tho my parents are contributing and his haven't so far. . . i feel like it is a respect thing

were your parents upset by this? i'm wondering if my mom will be hurt. and it's not just as simple as me asking her if she'll be hurt, because she'll either lie, say no, and then cry later or say no and really mean it. she means well, but lately she is SO emotional.

Chrissywish Posted: Aug 06, 2007 09:39 PM

Re: Who is 'hosting?'

For invitation purposes I would put that together with their parents Bride and Groom invite you to blah blah blah

or Bride and Groom
together with mr. and mrs. brides parents
and mr. and mrs. grooms parents invite you to

i think they are both contributing and in essence hosting

reneemarie2 Posted: Aug 06, 2007 09:39 PM

Re: Who is 'hosting?'

Although your parents have contributed significantly more than FH's parents, 10,000 is still alot of money and they should be recognized. I would word it something like...along with our parents..., or something to that effect.

lonal Posted: Aug 06, 2007 09:51 PM

Re: Who is 'hosting?'

I like what Chrissywish said. Also, if your mom can't tell you how she feels, what about your dad. Everything is so tricky!

ant n tilde Posted: Aug 06, 2007 09:56 PM

Re: Who is 'hosting?'

Posted by Jess125483

Posted by ant n tilde

Posted by Jesses Girl

i would include both bc both are helping out...

like hosted by the parents of >>>bride and the parents of groom...

that is what i did
i put

Matilde
and
Anthony

together with their parents
Mr and Mrs Matilde's parents
and
Mr and Mrs Anthony's parents

* even tho my parents are contributing and his haven't so far. . . i feel like it is a respect thing

were your parents upset by this? i'm wondering if my mom will be hurt. and it's not just as simple as me asking her if she'll be hurt, because she'll either lie, say no, and then cry later or say no and really mean it. she means well, but lately she is SO emotional.

ok i am being honest here. i ORIGINALLY was putting
Mr and Mrs Matilde's parents request the honour of your presence blah blah blah of their daughter
Matilde
to
Anthony
son of Mr and Mrs Anthony's Parents

and MY mom was with me and she said ABSOLUTELY not - she said put both names equally or NO parents' names at all. . .she felt it was disrespectful so i changed it!

LitBallerinaGirl Posted: Aug 06, 2007 09:57 PM

Re: Who is 'hosting?'

We had a very similar breakdown to what you have. I put both parents on it. Even though DH's parents paid for less than 1/5 of the wedding, it was important that I address them because they did pay for what they could.

ChristineAaron08 Posted: Aug 06, 2007 10:17 PM

Re: Who is 'hosting?'

I agree that only putting your parents as 'request honour of your presence' will be disrespectful to his.

FH and I are paying for like 95% of our wedding and we are planning on putting 'bride and groom, together with their parents mr/mrs and mr/ mrs request, blah blah'

angl2001 Posted: Aug 06, 2007 10:19 PM

Re: Who is 'hosting?'

Posted by Jesses Girl

i would include both bc both are helping out...

like hosted by the parents of >>>bride and the parents of groom...

i agree

mbg1007 Posted: Aug 06, 2007 10:35 PM

Re: Who is 'hosting?'

Im prob in the minority here but I think you should always put both sets of parents on an inviation as hosts (excepting extraordinary circumstances), I think its disrespectul otherwise-it shouldnt just be about whose paying for the wedding but that theyre your parents. JMO

BNBride60 Posted: Aug 06, 2007 10:59 PM

Re: Who is 'hosting?'

Thanks for all your advice - now the next issue is how to get this past my Mom without upsetting her. Maybe I should just ask her 'hey - any suggestions on how to word the invitation?' to find out where her head is at!

kellygirl Posted: Aug 06, 2007 11:07 PM

Re: Who is 'hosting?'

Posted by Chrissywish

For invitation purposes I would put that together with their parents Bride and Groom invite you to blah blah blah

or Bride and Groom
together with mr. and mrs. brides parents
and mr. and mrs. grooms parents invite you to

i think they are both contributing and in essence hosting

I agree...

tbone66 Posted: Aug 06, 2007 11:07 PM

Re: Who is 'hosting?'

I think you need to put both parents are hosting since $10K is still a substantial amt of money

jtgarsik Posted: Aug 06, 2007 11:24 PM

Re: Who is 'hosting?'

i agree with the majority of the above posters in saying that both sets of parents are contributing...and honoring them both is the right thing to do. It would be good (like u said) to ask her for advice on the wording, that way u'll know if u need to have a heart to heart about it. I COMPLETELY understand about your mom being emotional...mine was MAJORLY also - i think they just feel a complete mix of emotions and most of the time they don't know what to feel. I can tell you first hand, that when all is said and done, and the wedding is over, every single emotion, fight, hurt feeling, stress, annoyed guests, (etc.etc.etc.) from outsiders(ESPECIALLY with parents) will be fine, done with, and back to normal. i know you absolutely do NOT want to hurt your mom...but sometimes certain things just need to be done...and when it's all over - things are forgotten about like they never even happened! have no worries dear it'll all work out fine in the end.