Who is more motivated/ambitious, you or DH/FH?

This has been on my mind all night...

I'm definitely the more ambitious one. DH is very intelligent but also lazy. He's easygoing and easily contented, so he's not motivated to look for a better job than the one he has. His current job is his first one out of college, and originally, he didn't plan to stay there this long (it will be 4 years in April). He works hard and doesn't get paid well at all. It's very frustrating for me b/c I know if he put the effort in, he could be doing better. He's fine with the fact that once i get my doctorate, I will be earning more than him. I like that he's okay with that, but I want him to have more ambitions for himself! He says he'll go to grad school one day, after I'm done...

Sorry..didn't mean to turn this into a rant.

ME by far and thats not saying much ...

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Posted by Jax430

I think I get jealous sometimes, b/c I would like to be the lazy one, but can't deal with both of us being that way!

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EXACTLY!! I agree 100%

I feel the same way that you do, and it's even harder since he is the only one working and sometimes I feel so frustated because I can't do anything about it.
To answer your question, Me I'm definitely more ambitious and that's why I 'm taking action so that I can do something as well.

I think I am..or I was...but his complacency is getting to me too. He doesn't encourage me in the wya I would like to be encoruaged and I think that bothers me the most.

With him, it's not that he doens';t have high goals, but he doesn't really want to work for them. He expects everything to fall into his lap. In college, he didn't have summer jobs most of the time because he was hlding out for a job that would pay $25 an hour or something. Meanwhile I made a lot more $$ than he did making $8/hr b/c of course that's a lot better than nothing.

And he got a job pretty much right our of college, but if not for me, hed still be 'job hunting'. He never wanted to sit down and do it. I'd go through thousands of job offers online and in the papers, and ctry to print and circle appropriate ones (which was hard b/c I know nothing about his field), then I ahd to sit with him and force him to separate the good from bad...then I had to sit with him beg him 'let's just send out one more resume'...I saw on my radiator while he sat at my computer, and he kept wanting to tkae breaks or do it another day..and I'd get s pissed off with him b/c if not for me, he'd have done nothing..

But anyway, he has a great job now...and he does pretty well. I can't do it for him..althogh when I see him, his ties/shirts.suits never match right...but I stopped laying out his clothes along time ago

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Posted by Jax430

I think I get jealous sometimes, b/c I would like to be the lazy one, but can't deal with both of us being that way!

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I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU MEAN!!!!

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Posted by marymoon

I think I am..or I was...but his complacency is getting to me too. He doesn't encourage me in the wya I would like to be encoruaged and I think that bothers me the most.

With him, it's not that he doens';t have high goals, but he doesn't really want to work for them. He expects everything to fall into his lap. In college, he didn't have summer jobs most of the time because he was hlding out for a job that would pay $25 an hour or something. Meanwhile I made a lot more $$ than he did making $8/hr b/c of course that's a lot better than nothing.

And he got a job pretty much right our of college, but if not for me, hed still be 'job hunting'. He never wanted to sit down and do it. I'd go through thousands of job offers online and in the papers, and ctry to print and circle appropriate ones (which was hard b/c I know nothing about his field), then I ahd to sit with him and force him to separate the good from bad...then I had to sit with him beg him 'let's just send out one more resume'...I saw on my radiator while he sat at my computer, and he kept wanting to tkae breaks or do it another day..and I'd get s pissed off with him b/c if not for me, he'd have done nothing..

But anyway, he has a great job now...and he does pretty well. I can't do it for him..althogh when I see him, his ties/shirts.suits never match right...but I stopped laying out his clothes along time ago

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I just e-mailed brad links to jobs from monster.com today!!

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Posted by Jax430


I just e-mailed brad links to jobs from monster.com today!!

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I do things like this all the time!

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Posted by Mbluegirl7

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Posted by Jax430


I just e-mailed brad links to jobs from monster.com today!!

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I do things like this all the time!

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The problem is that if our DHs aren't motivated to look at them, send out their resumes and go on an interview, it doesn't do any good, except for making us feel like we're doing something productive!

Definitely me... without a doubt.

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Posted by Jax430

I just e-mailed brad links to jobs from monster.com today!!

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I did the same exact thing to Vanessa. I practially got her Cablevision job for her. LOL

She transferred departments last year and I trained her hard on what to do in the interview. She got the transfer.

DH is definitely more ambitiuos than me. My goal is to be a SAHM, DH's goal is to be a partner in at the accounting firm he works for. Hopefully, we will reach both of our goals.