I know traditionally it's the bride's parents who are supposed to pay for the entire wedding. But seriously, who can afford to do that these days? My FH and I are looking at places and coming up with ideas with the thought that we would be paying for it ourselves so that we can stay on budget. My mom and step-dad said they would help us, but that they are not going to go broke paying for it. My FH says that he doesn't think his parents would help at all because they feel it is the bride's parents duty. Am I wrong to be pissed off about this? They have also passed comments that my parents should throw us an engagement party - obviously they are very traditional in their beliefs. A little background on FH's parents - they recently bought a HUGE house in North Carolina, also own a town house in NC where their other son is living while he goes to school, they bought him a BRAND NEW car, and still have a house here on LI that has yet to sell. It doesn't seem to me that they're short on cash if they can do all those things. So I'm just wondering how everyone else is paying for their wedding. I feel that in this day and age, the cost should be split between the bride and groom, and BOTH sets of parents.
Cacarina
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Re: Who is paying for your wedding?
I feel that your FH's parents should contribute something. In this day and age, its ridiculous to assume that only the bride's parents will pay for the wedding.
In my situation, my parents are paying most of it, but FH's parents are giving what they can, they do not have a lot. FH and I are also trying to save and pay for some ourselves (not working out so well!!)
branflake1229
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Re: Who is paying for your wedding?
It sounds like a lot of people are paying themselves!!! I thought I was one of the few who had to foot the bill!!
We're going to Giorgio's this Saturday with both parents to hopefully put down a deposit, so maybe his parents will step up and offer to pay something.
Ms.LatinBride
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Re: Who is paying for your wedding?
Well, I'm pretty much in the same boat as you are. FH and I are paying for everything - from the reception to the shoes.
My parents (which make less money than we do and barely make their mortgage) offered to help us pay for the reception hall. FH and I agreed that we will not accept their offer since they would be paying that debt forever.
His parents on the other hand havent' said a beep about the wedding. His mom which acts sooo nice to me everytime we visit hasn't even asked about any wedding plans. ***???
So I know they're avoiding any wedding talk (possibly because they know they won't offer any help) I'm upset about it - but I'll focus on the ppl that are being supportive. I wouldn't ask them anything...just because I'm too proud.
ddnsp618
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Re: Who is paying for your wedding?
we are paying for it ourselves...and in fact FHs family s u c k s so much, we also have to pay for half of our own engagement party!!!
VickiR510
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Re: Who is paying for your wedding?
FH & I are both in our thirties & even thoughmy parents wanted to & hisparents alos offered we are more then capable & fortunate enough to be able to pay for our own wedding.
little34
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Re: Who is paying for your wedding?
My dad is paying for the big stuff but FH and I are paying for the little things..like decorations, my shoes, ties for the guys, BP gifts, CPs, that type of thing.
vicky1125
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Re: Who is paying for your wedding?
FH's family doesn't have a lot of money so they're not helping at all. FH is paying half and my parents are paying half. i'm helping what i can since i just graduated college.
MannysBunny
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Re: Who is paying for your wedding?
My parents are paying for our Wedding.
Shellymd
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Re: Who is paying for your wedding?
My Parents are paying for the RH, limos and dj. Grandparents for my attire. His Parents for the Photo, Video and Flower. We will be paying for invitations, DOC, favors, church and tips...and that still is making us want to cry!
FutureMrsWildes
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Re: Who is paying for your wedding?
FH and I are paying for 99% of it.
My mom paid for my dress and FIL's may pay for the rehersal but I'm not counting on it...they aren't so reliable!!!
shopaholic07
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Re: Who is paying for your wedding?
My parents paid for the engagement party, the wedding shower, and the wedding. DH's parents gave me really expensive jewelry to wear for the e-party.....I wasn't too impressed with their gifts for the shwer though.....and they paid for our French Polynesia honeymoon and gave us a generous gift.
Honestly, at times I felt bitter that they weren't offering to contribute anything since they are pretty well off. But I wasn't willing to sacrifice decision-making and having to listen to their opinions/suggestions, which I knew I would get, if they did contribute to the wedding. This way, I got to plan the wedding the way we wanted.
bobchris1023
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Re: Who is paying for your wedding?
FH and I are paying for the Whole Wedding
My mom and my Big Bro are helping to pay for my wedding day attire.
Autumnbride03
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Re: Who is paying for your wedding?
i am very lucky- my parents wanted to pay for it.
However, we feel guilty so we are trying to pay for what we can-
HM wedding rings invitations FH's tux my veil/shoes/jewelry guestbook/toasting flutes/cake cutter my hair/makeup Church fee favors tips STD's
and other odds and ends
his parents said they would pay for our pre-cana weekend (probably about $300) and our RD. We are also having a casual bbq eparty in august that they are buying the catered food for.
they are helping us a little but my parents are def shelling out lots more. But I understand because they have six kids they have to support! they are helping us out more than his sister when she got married years ago because 3 of them are out of the house now. i am also the only girl in my fam
FutureMrsG
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Re: Who is paying for your wedding?
My parents are helping us but we are paying for about 2/3 of the wedding. FHs parents have told us they intend to pay for the rehersal dinner and so far that is it. My mom and dad are throwing us a casual e-party in their back yard a BBQ nothing fancy. I am happy with the help that we are being given. It would be nice if FHs parents could help us out but I do not expect they will...they have already commented on how we are spending too much on a wedding...Yet they have a rather long guest list. Maybe you should talk to your FH about asking his parents for some help. I would but I already know what the outcome would be!
kgicrls
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Re: Who is paying for your wedding?
We are paying for it ourselves...
MrsDtoBe09
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Re: Who is paying for your wedding?
We're paying for it now but our 'gifts' from both sides of parents will more than cover what we've spent on the wedding. We thought it was a good idea to do it this way instead of having them give it to us before the wedding and paying the wedding this way because we were afraid we wouldnt save enough of our own money. Now we'll have a big chunk of money to put down for a house after the wedding.
Steffie
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Re: Who is paying for your wedding?
My Mother is helping a lot....she had money saved. FH father gave us the deposit towards the RH, and FMIL is paying for the RH dinner. FH and I are doing the DJ and our stuff, like wedding bands, GM & BM stuff...... But My Mom is really doing a lot.....I love her
JoanneAndJustin
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Re: Who is paying for your wedding?
FH and I are paying ourselves. I will be 34 when we get married and FH will be 28. My mom is helping with a lot of the planning, and has offered a gift, but we won't take it. She's retired, and my dad has passed away... so I feel bad.
FHs parents are no help at all, they pretty much have no interest in our wedding, and his father is ALWAYS telling us what a waste of money a big wedding is. (Thanks, FFIL... unlike you, I only plan to get married ONCE, not three times). FMIL is in FL, so I'm going to wait til it gets closer and I meet her before I get all cranky about it.
littlepixie12
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Re: Who is paying for your wedding?
umm, ok, you should be. The brides parents used to pay for the whole thing back in the day. Its 2008 and seriously who can afford it! We are paying for it ourselves, like alot of other people I know, and both sets of parents are helping any way they can, but seriously we are paying for the majority of it. I dont see why his parents wont help. Maybe they can pay for their guests, that would be a big help!
Future Mrs Roo
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Re: Who is paying for your wedding?
my parents are paying for the reception, his parents are paying for flowers, rehearsal dinner and maybe limos, everything else is up to us.
