Who is walking you down the aisle???

cocoa Posted: Jan 17, 2004 01:53 PM

Who is walking you down the aisle???

So here is my situation. Who is walking me down the aisle...well, my parents are divorced. While i love my father, he hasn't exactly been 'there'. i know he loves me and is proud of me, but child support was always late and when you are 18 and see that your father doesn't want to help you financially, it doesn't go unnoticed. My step-dad and grandfather are also like fathers to me. But my mom was and is everything...she rocks and i love her and i asked her to do the job. but she is uncomfortable (shy and would prefer g-father does it). AAAGGGHHH.

However, my father feels it is tradition and while he has not exactly offered to help with this event, I also am not one to hurt anyone intentionally...while he has hurt me on many occasions, i just don't have it in my heart to do it back! I thought about following the Jewish processional, which is EVERYONE walks down the aisle, but i know that if he gets to be a part of it and is the only one not helping financially, everyone will be PISSED!!! FH wants my mom to do it and says stick it to my dad, but as i said, i am not like that. Any advice???

AJsMommy122 Posted: Jan 17, 2004 01:59 PM

Re: Who is walking you down the aisle???

I was always really close to my dad.. daddy's little girl.. untill my parents got divorced and he started seeing a troll. Now we got into a big fight over somehing stupid in like september and I havent spoken to him since. Fine with me his loss.. he heard his ONLY daughter was getting married and did he offer a penny? nope but he can afford to support his troll when shes not working ( sorry to vent!!) Well I am deciding between 4 men I am VERY close to. My mothers boyfriend who has been in my life for 5 years, my 15 year old brother who I love to death, My then 2 year old son who is the re ason I get up every day, and my FFIL who does EVERYTHING in the world for me and my son.. from letting us live rent free to making sure we have everything we need... and he is the nicest man Ive even know I dont know who to choose.
* I just want to add that my FFIL only has one daughter whos not married yet and he has never gotten to walk anyone down the aisle.. and my mother boyfriend dosent have any children so the same goes for him.

July2004Bride Posted: Jan 17, 2004 02:14 PM

Re: Who is walking you down the aisle???

I would have your grandfather AND step-father walk you down the aisle.. let the people that have been there for you do it.. they deserve it..(and since your mom is uncomfortable doing so) JMO..

nehaliasz Posted: Jan 17, 2004 02:19 PM

Re: Who is walking you down the aisle???

I'd like both my parents to walk me down. I know its not tradiditon, but I want my mom to be a part of it just as much as my dad.

nan&dave Posted: Jan 17, 2004 02:20 PM

Re: Who is walking you down the aisle???

I'm having both of my parents walk me down the aisle. I knew my dad was definitely was, and then I thought, why not let my mom do it, they are both my parents and deserve the honor. Looking back at when I was younger, I was a piece of work, and they are both proud.
Cocoa - Maybe you can do both your parents walk you halfway and then let your grandpa walk you to meet your FH.
Soon2be - coming from a very protective of her dad, daddy's girl, make sure that your fsil is okay with her dad walking you down the aisle (if you choose to go that way). Also, why not have your 2 year old wait up front with fh.
The only thing that I can think of for you, is have a 3 people walk you down. First your mom bf, then your brother and then you dad, if you choose. You might regret not having your dad there someday. Good luck to you both.

AJsMommy122 Posted: Jan 17, 2004 02:22 PM

Re: Who is walking you down the aisle???

thanx nan - I didnt even think about asking FSIL

cocoa Posted: Jan 17, 2004 02:32 PM

Re: Who is walking you down the aisle???

To soon2be...i agree with asking the grooms sister, but it sounds like it is an awesome family and she would be proud of her dad. although asking is smart.
wow, this is so political... i have no intention of hurting anyone and i just wish everyone would come together for the sake of this day.

1017Bride Posted: Jan 17, 2004 02:47 PM

Re: Who is walking you down the aisle???

Both my parents. In the Jewish religion its tradition for both your parents to walk you down the aisle.

nferrandi Posted: Jan 17, 2004 02:58 PM

Re: Who is walking you down the aisle???

I'm having both of my parents walk me down the aisle. Initially I just wanted my daddy to do it, but I know it's really important to my mom and she's really important to me. The whole ceremony is going to be non-traditional (Catholic/Jewish) so we're just going to do whatever we want and not worry about tradition.

Sage10.03 Posted: Jan 17, 2004 03:00 PM

Re: Who is walking you down the aisle???

I was in a similar situation cocoa, and my Mom walked me down the aisle.
I wouldn't have had it any other way....

cocoa Posted: Jan 17, 2004 03:06 PM

Re: Who is walking you down the aisle???

But has your dad said anything to you?

janet Posted: Jan 17, 2004 04:42 PM

Re: Who is walking you down the aisle???

my father passed away 7 years ago so i have no daddy to walk me down the aisle.
my step dad is a great man but i really wnted my foster brothers to walk me down but my mom had a fit with that. i wanted them cause to me they where with me with my father and it would have be like a tribute to him but like i said mom gave a fit and came up with a better idea! which actually means more to me!! my brothers will escort my daughter in her 'wedding' dress and give her to fh as his daughter!!! and my step dad is walking me down!! i can't wait!(mom doeswn't know how i really feel about this either)

sun86moon Posted: Jan 17, 2004 04:54 PM

Re: Who is walking you down the aisle???

Posted by 1017Bride

Both my parents. In the Jewish religion its tradition for both your parents to walk you down the aisle.

JZNCK Posted: Jan 17, 2004 05:09 PM

Re: Who is walking you down the aisle???

My dad and my Step dad!!!!!

Charly Posted: Jan 17, 2004 05:14 PM

Re: Who is walking you down the aisle???

I have a very similar situation - long story short - my brother! He has been the main man in my life and he and only he deserves the honor.

It's a very hard situation - do what's in your heart. My dad is very hurt by it - but I can't have him walk me just because it hurts his pride.

chris605 Posted: Jan 17, 2004 05:16 PM

Re: Who is walking you down the aisle???

I couldnt vote - My choice wasnt there....

My Godson/Nephew is walking be down the aisle... He will be 14 - He is so handsom - I cant wait...

hbradio Posted: Jan 17, 2004 09:51 PM

Re: Who is walking you down the aisle???

My dad. I am daddys little girl all the way. We are both going to cry like crazy!!!

JodiBabe Posted: Jan 17, 2004 09:59 PM

Re: Who is walking you down the aisle???

I had my dad & my 21 year old daughter walk me up the aisle.

nan&dave Posted: Jan 17, 2004 10:01 PM

Re: Who is walking you down the aisle???

Hbradio: I'm also a daddy's girl all the way. We're going to need some maximum strength waterproof makeup.

oakslady Posted: Jan 17, 2004 10:27 PM

Re: Who is walking you down the aisle???

my father is not even in the thoughts of who would walk me down the aisle tradition or not - he was never around for me and he wasnt exactly the model father - i am asking my uncle who has been wonderful to me since i was a teen - i think he would be the closest thing i have to a father figure - i would have asked my grandfather but he died about 15 yrs ago
so i say ask who you feel in your heart is the most supporting person for you - someone you feel has helped you be who you are today - if that is mom and she is uncomfortable with it ( like mine was - she also declined) then ask someone who is near and dear to you - someone you would feel comfortable with - and honestly it is your wedding what anyone else says hardly matters
jmo