Hi all, I am new to this site. I just got engaged a month ago and am setting the date for next april/may 2004. I was just wondering who is paying for your weddings? Bride, groom, both? Brides parents, grooms parents? And to what extent is fair? Thanks!
kptoys
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Re: Who pays???
WELCOME!!!!!
My mom is paying for the hall and the photography which is like 70% of the wedding. We are paying for everything else. His parents are paying for the rehersal dinner.
I cant really say what is too fair. I think it all depends on your, your FH, your FIL's and your parents situations and feelings.
GOOD LUCK
allure
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Re: Who pays???
We will be paying for almost every red cent
Marcela1654
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Re: Who pays???
We are paying for almost everything. Well actually FH is paying for everything right now b/c I'm in my 3rd year of law school and only have a part time job. My family is paying for my dress and all accesories Our families paid for our eparty and our families will probably pay for the rehearsal dinner also.
Robeymuse
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Re: Who pays???
My parents are paying for the reception, band and my dress. My FI and I are paying for the photographer, videographer and florist. His parents are paying for the transportation, rehearsal dinner and honeymoon. (and throwing us a e-party at their vineyard!)
aliasPook
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Re: Who pays???
My parents are paying $10,000.00 and for my shower.
We are paying the other $30,&-something, which includes the rehearsal dinner.
His parents aren't paying for anything.
Jess2
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Re: Who pays???
I think it depends on each couple and their families really. My parents are being really unbelievable and paying for most of the wedding, and there is no way I could ever thank them enough. My FI and I could never afford this wedding on our own.
DrmnBlnd
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Re: Who pays???
We are paying for the hall, flowers, and littel stuff. My mom is paying for the photography, invitations and table cameras,my veil/headpiece and his parents are paying for the DJ and his mother is making the centerpieces.
bride04
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Re: Who pays???
I think this really depends on everyone's financial situations. I don't think many people go by what is traditionally thought to be payed for by bride's/groom's family. We will probably pay for most of it ourselves, but hopefully both of our families will help out as much as they can.
jenny2penny
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x
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nylisa
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Re: Who pays???
We are paying for most of it. Our parents are going to help us with whatever you can.
eroxgirl
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Re: Who pays???
Me and FH are covering about 2/3 (if I stick to the budget) and my dad will cover the other 1/3.
mims107
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Re: Who pays???
My mom has offered to pay for the band and my dress/accessories.
FH and I are paying for the rest ourselves. I imagine that his family will probably pay for the rehearsal dinner, but its far away and hasn't been discussed yet.
DecBride04
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Re: Who pays???
My Mom will be purchasing my dress. Everything else will be hard earned money $$ from FH and Myself. Each of us have contributated each share We have an average budget; not too over-board and not too skimpy. It will be nice PS Welcome to the Boards
june262004
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Re: Who pays???
His parents are paying for ReH dinner. My parents are paying for everything else we are working ots of hours to pay for the Extras like the ice sculpure I want and the extra food at cocktail hour.
JR515
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Re: Who pays???
We are paying for everything except for the rehearsal dinner. I think the FIL's are taking care of that.
Nessa79
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Re: Who pays???
So far it looks like the 2 of us are doing this all by ourselves. But I honestly have to say I am happy we are. We can do everything the way WE want it, and we don't have to ask permission or opinions. I have had so many friends whos parents had paid and taken over things such as the guest list, and their days got out of hand (they were too busy greeting and thanking 200+ guests and didnt even get to enjoy their own reception.) Believe me it will be hard but we will only appreciate it even more in the end. So either way your day will be wonderful, if you pay, or if your parents, theirs pluses and minuses to both ways. Once you start planning you'll see who will be helping pay, or not, im sure. good luck, Vanessa
Scoop
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Re: Who pays???
My parents paid for the hall and our rehearsal dinner. His parents bought us furniture and gave us a very generous wedding gift which we put towards renovating our house. My husband & I paid for all our vendors.
Rob-luvs-me
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Re: Who pays???
Well that all depends on you and your families and what you all feel comfortable with.
If you ask my parents they say they pay for all of the traditional stuff and His parents pay for the rehearsal dinner and MAYBE or MAYBE NOT the honeymoon.
We say we will pay for things but my parents won't hear of it
His Father says my parents and FH and I should have to pay for it and they should just be able to reap the benefits and dump all over everything (sorry sore point)
I think you need to sit down with your families and see what each feels. FH and I were willing to try to pay for everything if we needed to - but my family believes that it is not right for a couple to have to start out in so much debt (esp when FH will have lots of law school loans) so they were extremely generous. His mother would love to help out but can not afford to help - so even if she offered we would not take it.
I don't think this is really a quetion that you can easily ask b/c different families feel very differently about this issue.
rosebud
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Re: Who pays???
I think each couples financial contributions are different. I have to say the responses to this post are refreshing to hear b/c it does not make me feel like my FH & I are the only ones saving up every penny for this wedding!
My father is paying for 1/2 the reception. My mother is paying for dress, accessories, etc. She has mentioned paying for the HM as well...hope that pans out!
So, with that said and done (which was kind of an uncomfortable discussion with the folks), FH and I are paying for everything else.
I say talk with your FH first and discuss both of your expectations, privately. Keep them low, so that any help you get is seen as very generous!
However the whole $$$ pans out, make sure you give yourself plenty of time to save comfortably, and remember, usually the more your family contributes, the more say they want in your wedding. Just remember it is your day - do it exactly as you want!!!
