WHO PAYS FOR WHAT

How to figure out who pays for what in this modern age??????????????????//

You have a dream wedding planned in your mind, but do you know who’s going to pay for what at the wedding? Traditionally, the bride’s family would pick up the tab but with the average cost of a wedding skyrocketing, and more couples getting married later in life, these traditional roles are far from set in stone.

Some scenarios for who pays for what:

Traditional Responsiblities

The bride’s family pays for:
- Reception costs, including food, music, decorations, rental fees and entertainment
- Ceremony Costs including rental fees, decorations
- Flowers for Ceremony and Reception
- The bride’s wedding dress and accessories
- Invitations, announcements, programs, and mailing costs
- Favors
- Photography
- Transportation
- Their own attire and travel expenses

The groom’s family pays for:
- The rehearsal dinner, including food, invitations, decorations and entertainment
- Their own attire and travel expenses
- A wedding present

The bride pays for:
- The groom’s wedding ring
- A wedding gift for the groom
- Her hair, makeup, beauty treatments
- Gifts for her attendants
- Sometimes accommodation for any out-of-town bridesmaids

The groom pays for:
- The marriage license
- The bride’s engagement ring and wedding ring
- The honeymoon
- A wedding gift for the bride
- The bride’s bouquet
- Gifts for his attendants
- Corsages for the mothers and grandmothers
- Boutonnières for men in the wedding party
- Sometimes accommodation for any out-of-town groomsmen
- Fee for the officiant


When the bride and groom are older, or whose parents don’t have resources
The bride and groom pay for all wedding costs themselves


A modern take on who pays for what at a wedding:

After announcing their engagement, the bride and groom sit down and estimate what they’ll spend on the wedding, probably after finding a reception site and making general decisions about theme, style, time of day etc.

They then approach their parents and after describing what they’ve decided on so far, say gently, “We were wondering if you would be able to pitch in for any of the costs.” The parents may look at the budget and say, “We’d like to pay for the reception food and the flowers” for example. They may also offer a set amount they’ll contribute. If their parents say they can’t afford to contribute, or only offer a small amount, the bride and groom say, “Thank you for considering,” and perhaps have to revise their budget or find creative ways to pay for the wedding.


Split the budget three ways
In this scenario, the bride’s family, the groom’s family, and the bride and groom themselves each pay for one third of the budget. Typically, this means they will also each invite one third of the guests.

Split the budget three ways
In this scenario, the bride’s family, the groom’s family, and the bride and groom themselves each pay for one third of the budget. Typically, this means they will also each invite one third of the guests.

this is what were doing...dont know if its gonna be split up exactly one third, but all 3 sides my parents, his parents and FH and i together are paying. Fh and I to put in more though

Are you kidding me! I WISHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Noone gave us a dime! =(

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Posted by Mizzdimple

Are you kidding me! I WISHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Noone gave us a dime! =(

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is that to my post? lol

Well considering that over 100 and i mean a good amount over 100 of the guests are fh's family and parents friends, it should be that way...my dad also said he is inviting about 100 of his friends which uhmmm he has to bring that down bc were gonna go over our the maximum amount allowed in our room lol...I mean honestly out of everyone I am inviting the least amount of people and i am actually trying to put in more money than everyone else since alot of things are my ideas but i am not paying for about 200 or actually more than 200 guests that are not personally mine

I wish! My FH and I are paying for just about everything, with the exception of our parents throwing us a few bucks here and there.

Those who are having their weddings paid for....im VERY envious of you!

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by Mizzdimple

Are you kidding me! I WISHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Noone gave us a dime! =(

---

is that to my post? lol

Well considering that over 100 and i mean a good amount over 100 of the guests are fh's family and parents friends, it should be that way...my dad also said he is inviting about 100 of his friends which uhmmm he has to bring that down bc were gonna go over our the maximum amount allowed in our room lol...I mean honestly out of everyone I am inviting the least amount of people and i am actually trying to put in more money than everyone else since alot of things are my ideas but i am not paying for about 200 or actually more than 200 guests that are not personally mine

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I just posted in response to the article i found.
FH and I were so surprised noone gave us a penny. I mean we cant expect it but we are having 300 guests.!!!..about 125 are mine and we are both paying for it. I mean FH will contribute more just b/c he can., but still his dad is inviting everyone he knows. They are all excited b/c he is the first in his fam to get married.

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Posted by Espo22

Split the budget three ways
In this scenario, the bride’s family, the groom’s family, and the bride and groom themselves each pay for one third of the budget. Typically, this means they will also each invite one third of the guests.

this is what were doing...dont know if its gonna be split up exactly one third, but all 3 sides my parents, his parents and FH and i together are paying. Fh and I to put in more though

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that's sorta what we're doing as well. everyone is paying for their own guests (including us)...then we're paying for everything else/all the other vendors...with the exception of flowers and rehearsal dinner, maybe not the church and maybe not the limos.

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Posted by Mizzdimple

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by Mizzdimple

Are you kidding me! I WISHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Noone gave us a dime! =(

---

is that to my post? lol

Well considering that over 100 and i mean a good amount over 100 of the guests are fh's family and parents friends, it should be that way...my dad also said he is inviting about 100 of his friends which uhmmm he has to bring that down bc were gonna go over our the maximum amount allowed in our room lol...I mean honestly out of everyone I am inviting the least amount of people and i am actually trying to put in more money than everyone else since alot of things are my ideas but i am not paying for about 200 or actually more than 200 guests that are not personally mine

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I just posted in response to the article i found.
FH and I were so surprised noone gave us a penny. I mean we cant expect it but we are having 300 guests.!!!..about 125 are mine and we are both paying for it. I mean FH will contribute more just b/c he can., but still his dad is inviting everyone he knows. They are all excited b/c he is the first in his fam to get married.

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oh ok i was confused and wasnt sure bc as soon as i replied your comment was already there so thought you mightve written it before but wasnt sure.

Well hmmmm if his dad is not helping then fh should have a talk with him about inviting everyone he knows...I mean seriously i am not going to pay for everyone elses guests...If someone invites 100 or more guests to your wedding then they need to put up or tell them they need to kindly remove some of the guests and be considerate of your budget. I mean hey FH and I would pay for it all but you better believe i would not have a 300 plus wedding. I dont think it is fair for someone to make your budget alot higher bc of who THEY want there and then not help. Yes obviously you would invite some friends but going overboard is not right

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by Mizzdimple

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Posted by Espo22

---

Posted by Mizzdimple

Are you kidding me! I WISHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Noone gave us a dime! =(

---

is that to my post? lol

Well considering that over 100 and i mean a good amount over 100 of the guests are fh's family and parents friends, it should be that way...my dad also said he is inviting about 100 of his friends which uhmmm he has to bring that down bc were gonna go over our the maximum amount allowed in our room lol...I mean honestly out of everyone I am inviting the least amount of people and i am actually trying to put in more money than everyone else since alot of things are my ideas but i am not paying for about 200 or actually more than 200 guests that are not personally mine

---

I just posted in response to the article i found.
FH and I were so surprised noone gave us a penny. I mean we cant expect it but we are having 300 guests.!!!..about 125 are mine and we are both paying for it. I mean FH will contribute more just b/c he can., but still his dad is inviting everyone he knows. They are all excited b/c he is the first in his fam to get married.

---

oh ok i was confused and wasnt sure bc as soon as i replied your comment was already there so thought you mightve written it before but wasnt sure.

Well hmmmm if his dad is not helping then fh should have a talk with him about inviting everyone he knows...I mean seriously i am not going to pay for everyone elses guests...If someone invites 100 or more guests to your wedding then they need to put up or tell them they need to kindly remove some of the guests and be considerate of your budget. I mean hey FH and I would pay for it all but you better believe i would not have a 300 plus wedding. I dont think it is fair for someone to make your budget alot higher bc of who THEY want there and then not help. Yes obviously you would invite some friends but going overboard is not right

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I know your right. Don't you hate when your parents have a long list and you don't know anyone on it? Errrrrr.... Thanks for ur advice..Cant wait to see the final list!

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Posted by Ilovebriani

i think if you are paying the whole thing you have a right to say who is invited! if your parents are adding people on the list who you barely know, and it's too much $ for you, maybe you can sask them to just keep it to family/close friends

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that is exactly why our parents and we are paying for their own guests. if they want them there, they pay for them...that way no one complains.

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Posted by snowcutie82

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Posted by Espo22

Split the budget three ways
In this scenario, the bride’s family, the groom’s family, and the bride and groom themselves each pay for one third of the budget. Typically, this means they will also each invite one third of the guests.

this is what were doing...dont know if its gonna be split up exactly one third, but all 3 sides my parents, his parents and FH and i together are paying. Fh and I to put in more though

---

that's sorta what we're doing as well. everyone is paying for their own guests (including us)...then we're paying for everything else/all the other vendors...with the exception of flowers and rehearsal dinner, maybe not the church and maybe not the limos.

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yeah that would've been easy to do, for everyone to pay for their own guests lol but no we didnt do that lol...I said if they want to help then they can help with whatever or how much they want, and that i didnt expect it from them...So far with the Rh, i paid the down payment and first installment...Then 2nd and 3rd installments actually was money from e-party plus i am gonna add to that a little more, and FH said recently hes gonna give me some more money to give to the RH when we drop of the 2nd and 3rd installments, were doing that now early to get it out of the way since we have the money.

We haven't received money yet from parents on the RH, for other things yes...So for now the way i look at it, Fh and I have to come up with that money, i know they will help and give us some money but i dont know how much yet...I said ill take care of the installments with FH, and then after whatever the balance is they can help.

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Posted by snowcutie82

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Posted by Ilovebriani

i think if you are paying the whole thing you have a right to say who is invited! if your parents are adding people on the list who you barely know, and it's too much $ for you, maybe you can sask them to just keep it to family/close friends

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that is exactly why our parents and we are paying for their own guests. if they want them there, they pay for them...that way no one complains.

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yeah, we are actually paying for most of the family and close family friends that i know and want there. but, if they decide to invite any friends of theirs that i am impartial to (ie: i could care less if they are there or not...not to sound rude) then they will pay for them to come. i really would rather keep the wedding small....although are families are soo big that we have over 200 invites as it is.

vendors:

I paid for the deposit on flowers. Then Fh and i are gonna split balance on the flowers.

Photography-his mom gave us the deposit which was nice, i was about to send out the contract and the money and she offered, then after i sent it out she said she will also pay for the rest

Dress-dad and i paid for down payment on the dress, he put in more than i did though...i told him i dont expect him to pay for the rest and ill pay for the balance but when i say this he just tells me to shut up lol but i feel bad for him to pay for the whole dress, so i will at least split the balance.

Dj-Fh and i will put deposit and then see about the balance how were gonna do that.

Limos...Fh might pay for it all.

the rest i have no clue yet lol