This is stupid, but last night I tried to have a conversation with FH about guestbooks. (why i don't know). I got the usual answer- the'how much will it cost' followed by 'I don't care- whatever you want.' So I proceeded to tell him that if he does not want to help with this wedding thing, the least he can do is pretend he cares, because it hurts my feelings when he says that, bla bla bla. So he tells me, nobody has cared about his opinion since the begining, when my mother took him aside behind my back and said 'You let my daughter have whatever she wants. Just smile and nod.' So........I thought that was funny of my mom, he didn't. And he never told me about it until last night.
prncssrachel
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Re: Who should I be mad at? I need opinions! (long)
I have a VERY similar situation. My mom and dad joke to FH that he has no say, so why bother even responding. And although they are joking, he gets very upset over it and feels like nothing he says matters. I was upset because he really just doesn't care about certain WR things, but what can I do? Of course he's not going to care about centerpieces and what not, he is a boy, and boys just want us to be happy. If that means that we pick things without bothering them, then that's what has to be. I think you FH sounds overwhelmed and underappreciated. Just let him know that's not the case.
Sunny
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Re: Who should I be mad at? I need opinions! (long)
Rachel- you are right. I guess sometimes we can be mean- we are just joking and he gets upset. I try to make him feel included, but he says 'whatever you want' and it gets frustrating! I still think some of you are right- he used what my mom said as an excuse. My mother is always butting in to things- that's just her. He has never had a problem expressing his opinion about it to me before!
RichsBride
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Re: Who should I be mad at? I need opinions! (long)
Sunny, It sounds like he may have taken it a little personally even if she was joking. Either way most men don't care about guest books or table linen colors or whatever even if they are paying for it. Although men want to have a nice wedding too I think most of them would rather let us handle the details, because thats what we do best. I know that you're trying to include him, but it might be better to get him really involved in something he's into like music, food details, Honeymoon, ect.....then focus on that stuff with him. Another idea is to show him choice A & B(that you've already selected) and just ask him to vote on the winner-you like them both anyway & want it & now you let him help, everybody's happy Good Luck
