Will this or has this caused drama with the good old MIL?
nicopico13
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Will this or has this caused drama with the good old MIL?
I keep going back and forth with this. My parents are paying for the hall, we are paying for everything else and MIL is paying 0. Do you think it will cause drama if the invites mention my parents and not FH's. Like 'Mr. and Mrs. so and so request the honor of your presence to the wedding of their daughter to....' ?? Do you think I should keep the invite neutral and not mention parents? part of me feels like my parents should get a little acknowledgement on the invites but you know how MIL can be!
flairforfashion
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Re: Will this or has this caused drama with the good old MIL?
Ohhh. That is a tough call. Normally, whoever is paying for the wedding is mentioned on the invitation. I guess it's up to you.
vmystique33
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Re: Will this or has this caused drama with the good old MIL?
We put both parents names even though neither one helped us. Your supposed to put the parents name that helped you but I like the both of them on there so noone got there feelings hurt its totally up to you.
SusiBtoM
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Re: Will this or has this caused drama with the good old MIL?
We named our parents even though my dad didn't contribute anything. He just didn't realize that he could have, and I also did not expect him to. Had my mom still been alive, it would have been different. My in-laws helped us out, but DH and I paid for the bulk.
nicopico13
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Re: Will this or has this caused drama with the good old MIL?
well it gets more complicated because FH's dad past away and his mom is remarried so if we were to include both sides on the invite do you put her new husbands name? I feel like that is disrespectful to his real dad.
FutureMrsF2010
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Re: Will this or has this caused drama with the good old MIL?
What about your parents request the honor of.... and mentioning his parents like:
'John Doe Jr., son of Mr. and Mrs. John Doe'
zoe282
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Re: Will this or has this caused drama with the good old MIL?
I am in a similar situation although FIL's are paying for small things like DJ and such. My parents are paying for the reception. So i am doing this..
Mr and Mrs so and so request the honor of your presence for the marraige of their daughter so and so to So and so Son of Mr and Mrs. So and so
Thereofre their names are on it, but people know who's hosting the party...and they can't get offended
KiTTeN0819
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Re: Will this or has this caused drama with the good old MIL?
I have the same problem, FH parents have given nothing so far, where my parents gave 10k plus threw us the e-party. His mom says she is going to pay for her friends only since she wants to invite like 50 friends and we told her we did not have enough money for all those people. I know my mom is upset shes not really pitching in and she will be upset if we mention his parents too. UGH i dont know what to do.
nicopico13
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Re: Will this or has this caused drama with the good old MIL?
Posted by zoe282
I am in a similar situation although FIL's are paying for small things like DJ and such. My parents are paying for the reception. So i am doing this..
Mr and Mrs so and so request the honor of your presence for the marraige of their daughter so and so to So and so Son of Mr and Mrs. So and so
Thereofre their names are on it, but people know who's hosting the party...and they can't get offended
I like that. I wouldn't mind it that way I just don't know how to put her name since she is remarried and it might sound terrible but I don't want her new husbands name on the invites because he is not FH father!
PegaLega
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Re: Will this or has this caused drama with the good old MIL?
You dont have to put her new husband on the invite, just put son of.........................he doesnt have to be on it. If you are worried about her feelings or his getting hurt ask FH what he thinks about it? And go from there
rmsgirl
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Re: Will this or has this caused drama with the good old MIL?
My DH's dad has also passed away. We thought about including him on the invite, but it made his mom and sister sad, because we would have had to use 'the late Mr. So & So.' Instead, we wrote a dedication to him in the ceremony program and we used this wording for the invite:
Mr & Mrs X request the pleasure of your company at the marriage of their daughter, YYYYYY & ZZZZZZ, son of Mrs. AAA BBB
My MIL has not remarried. In your case, if you don't want to include the new husband outright, you could just use her new married name:
Mrs. John Doe.
My MIL was very easy to talk to and work with, so we were able to come up with wording that was good for us.
Is it possible for you and your FH to talk to her about her preferences? Also, does your FH have any feelings about it?
SusiBtoM
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Re: Will this or has this caused drama with the good old MIL?
You can't really include a dead parent's name on the invite, only because they cannot host the party. I left off my mom's name for that reason.
How about using Bride and Groom, together with their parents (not mentioning names), invite you blah blah blah.
It is perfectly acceptable to name FH's mom and stepdad. You are in no way disrepecting his father.
There are other ways to honor his father - a memorial candle, a mention in the program, a prayer offered up in his memory.
GinaZ
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Re: Will this or has this caused drama with the good old MIL?
mine was like this:
mr and mrs dads name and last name invite you to join in the marriage of their daughter Me to Fh son of mr. and mrs. FFIL's first name and last name
etc.
This shows that my parents are the hosts, but it is nice to include their names being that they are sub hosts in that they will have family and friends there as well- this makes it better i think for when people who do not know my parents get an invite. Almost like ti is less awkward for them? I don't know thats my weird way of looking at it. Although my Fh's parents are throwing in some money towards things as a gift to us.
Mrs B to Be
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Re: Will this or has this caused drama with the good old MIL?
I'm in a similar position, and I'm old fashioned and I like the idea of Mr & Mrs. XXXXX request the honor of your presence at the marriage of the daughter.......
So I found this wording and FH likes it also, it mentions the inlaws names, but keeps with tradition:
Mrs. & Mrs. XXXXXXXXXXXXX request the honor of your presence at the marriage of their daughter Stefanie to Frank Anthony XXXXXX son of Mr. & Mrs. Charles XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX.
Im a Pepper
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Re: Will this or has this caused drama with the good old MIL?
Posted by zoe282
I am in a similar situation although FIL's are paying for small things like DJ and such. My parents are paying for the reception. So i am doing this..
Mr and Mrs so and so request the honor of your presence for the marraige of their daughter so and so to So and so Son of Mr and Mrs. So and so
Thereofre their names are on it, but people know who's hosting the party...and they can't get offended
good one!
beram63
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Re: Will this or has this caused drama with the good old MIL?
i have the same dilemma, especially since there are no dads in the equation--both passed and neither mom remarried--so it seems off-balance. also, his mom is helping a little and mine not at all, so i don't know what we're supposed to do.
sorry i can't be of more help.
msflesch
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Re: Will this or has this caused drama with the good old MIL?
IMO..your parents should absolutley be mentioned and his shoudn't .. unless you know she would love to give you but can't maybe this is differetn but if she won't give you anything but can, then IMO she is not included. My parents and FIL are splitting so we had Mr and Mrs so and so and Mr and Mrs so and so blah blah
msflesch
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Re: Will this or has this caused drama with the good old MIL?
Posted by nicopico13
Posted by zoe282
I am in a similar situation although FIL's are paying for small things like DJ and such. My parents are paying for the reception. So i am doing this..
Mr and Mrs so and so request the honor of your presence for the marraige of their daughter so and so to So and so Son of Mr and Mrs. So and so
Thereofre their names are on it, but people know who's hosting the party...and they can't get offended
I like that. I wouldn't mind it that way I just don't know how to put her name since she is remarried and it might sound terrible but I don't want her new husbands name on the invites because he is not FH father!
I agree with this post, i think this is the best way to go!
bluegreen08
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Re: Will this or has this caused drama with the good old MIL?
it's up to you
LauraD419
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Re: Will this or has this caused drama with the good old MIL?
My parents are paying...his are not (well...the miniscule amount does not count).
We said. Mr & Mrs. Brides parents
blah blah blah
Laura Marie & Damian Robert
son of mrs. fh's mom and mr. fh's dad
This lets people know that they are his parents..but it's clear that your parents are paying.
