With all this talk about showers...

how does it exactly work? The reason why I ask is because there is a post on this board about placing registry cards in shower invites...whether it is tackty or not? According to most of you, its not, but you girls say its tacky to put them with the invites..and although etiquitte says no...I feel I am forced to did it that way..(long story) but now I feel down because you girls are postin gon the other board that it is tacky...

Here is my question..when you have a shower..is everyone on ur guest list invited?? and who plans the shower?

Those registry cards are intended for 'Bridal Showers' invites..I think it would be tacky if you included them in your wedding invites...

The point of a shower is to 'shower you with presents' so registry info is a must...JMO

I think usually the BP in conjunction with brides mother arrange the shower...

this is different for everyone....I personally am not having a shower....but I have been to many. Typically, your MOH throws you a shower. Or, your wedding party all together. I went to one last year that the FMIL threw.
To give you some history, showers started during the depression (my grandmother told me this) when people needed to start a home or were having a baby and literally could not afford the basics......like a pot or pan.
So, everyone would chip in and buy one thing so the couple could survive.
Today,,,,,its just tradition and great gifts.
ITs usually the MOH....somtimes the mother-in-law.....can be anyone, really.

Usually not everyone on your wedding guest list is invited to the shower. In general, its only close friends and family (all females, although its becoming more popular today to invite both men and women) from the list.

Anyone can plan your shower. Most often its the bridal party and/or mothers (MOB or FMIL). Sometimes friends plan it, sometimes co-workers will plan one if they throw you a 'work' shower.

HTH.

one more thing....I forgot to answer your question about who attends....
its only girls. GIRLS ONLY.
Guys aren't allowed unless its your FH showing up with flowers.

so sorry... don't get upset about these picky details...

I totally understand not being acquainted with the whole shower thing. There is no such thing in europe, and FH's family, and my mom have no idea what they are... none the less, I have heard drips and drabs about the 'awkward' process they are attempting on my behalf...

The shower is usually given on your behalf without your knowledge. It is arranged by your bridesmaids, sisters, friends, mom..... it is designed solely to throw tons of household items on you so you can 'begin your marriage with a proper home'... So, the girls who are close to you will secretly pass the registry info onto the shower guests in the invitations so they can buy accordingly.

The wedding is different. Since one is not obliged to purchase a gift, no registry card info should be inserted in the envelope. However, the stealthy bridesmaids and family will quickly spread the registry info by word of mouth to the guests....

hope this clears stuff up...

Is there anyway you can put your wedding website information in your invite somewhere instead of the registry cards? That might be another option??

Don't stress out though.....I'm sure it will get around to your friends and family where you guys are registered

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Posted by billandme

Is there anyway you can put your wedding website information in your invite somewhere instead of the registry cards? That might be another option??

Don't stress out though.....I'm sure it will get around to your friends and family where you guys are registered

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Yea...that might actually be a good idea. Thanks

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Posted by bettybcafe

Thanks girls for all the info. My prob. is that most of my family dont keep in contact with one another (especially with my fam.) sounds weird..but true..so I doubt my registry information will be passed out by 'word of mouth'...Ill try and figure something out..

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But you know....in all honesty, I'm one of those people that would RATHER receive the registry info with the invite. I want to know where people are registered.....it's more convenient for me in the end.

I wouldn't worry what people will think if you send them out in your invite......yah, ettiquette says NOT to do it, but it's your wedding. You do what you feel is the best thing for you and your FH.........

Don't stress out......

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Posted by billandme

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Posted by bettybcafe

Thanks girls for all the info. My prob. is that most of my family dont keep in contact with one another (especially with my fam.) sounds weird..but true..so I doubt my registry information will be passed out by 'word of mouth'...Ill try and figure something out..

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But you know....in all honesty, I'm one of those people that would RATHER receive the registry info with the invite. I want to know where people are registered.....it's more convenient for me in the end.

I wouldn't worry what people will think if you send them out in your invite......yah, ettiquette says NOT to do it, but it's your wedding. You do what you feel is the best thing for you and your FH.........

Don't stress out......

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I totally agree!! f**k ettiquette

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Posted by vmystique33

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Posted by billandme

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Posted by bettybcafe

Thanks girls for all the info. My prob. is that most of my family dont keep in contact with one another (especially with my fam.) sounds weird..but true..so I doubt my registry information will be passed out by 'word of mouth'...Ill try and figure something out..

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But you know....in all honesty, I'm one of those people that would RATHER receive the registry info with the invite. I want to know where people are registered.....it's more convenient for me in the end.

I wouldn't worry what people will think if you send them out in your invite......yah, ettiquette says NOT to do it, but it's your wedding. You do what you feel is the best thing for you and your FH.........

Don't stress out......

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I totally agree!! f**k ettiquette

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Thanks you are hilarious.

In the New York Area it is tacky to put them with your wedding invitations however in OTHER parts of the country it is NOT. People don't usually give Money at weddings (hard to believe right?) they give GIFTS. Hence why they put them in with the wedding invitations. It is your wedding so it's totally up to you what you're going to do. But around THESE PARTS it is usually intended to go out with your bridal shower invitations. Now a days Many BP give the shower. I think traditionally ti is only the mother and MOH.....
XOXOXO
Kitty

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Posted by Ericab1980

Those registry cards are intended for 'Bridal Showers' invites..I think it would be tacky if you included them in your wedding invites...

The point of a shower is to 'shower you with presents' so registry info is a must...JMO

I think usually the BP in conjunction with brides mother arrange the shower...

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couldnt have said it any better!!!!!

I would say that the Mother of the Bride and the Maid/Matron of Honor plan the shower. And I don't think it's tacky to put registry cards in with the shower invitations. Why else would we all be registering? But I would only put them in with the shower invitations. I wouldn't put them with the wedding invitations.

Hope that makes you feel better.

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Posted by AMANDA2378

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Posted by Ericab1980

Those registry cards are intended for 'Bridal Showers' invites..I think it would be tacky if you included them in your wedding invites...

The point of a shower is to 'shower you with presents' so registry info is a must...JMO

I think usually the BP in conjunction with brides mother arrange the shower...

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couldnt have said it any better!!!!!

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I agree wholeheartedly!!

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Posted by billandme

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Posted by bettybcafe

Thanks girls for all the info. My prob. is that most of my family dont keep in contact with one another (especially with my fam.) sounds weird..but true..so I doubt my registry information will be passed out by 'word of mouth'...Ill try and figure something out..

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But you know....in all honesty, I'm one of those people that would RATHER receive the registry info with the invite. I want to know where people are registered.....it's more convenient for me in the end.

I wouldn't worry what people will think if you send them out in your invite......yah, ettiquette says NOT to do it, but it's your wedding. You do what you feel is the best thing for you and your FH.........

Don't stress out......

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I agree...and I'm really sorry my post made you stress out! Please don't...it really doesn't matter in the end...no stresssing allowed!