Would anyone else be annoyed about this??? Vent....

Okay, so my bridal shower is supposed to be a surprise, which it still is...i don't know when it is, where it is, etc....but, being the nosy detective I am, I've been asking my mom, sister, other bm's about who's rsvp'd, etc....that's just me, i'm curious and excited!

So, b/c i had to ask who was coming, i JUST found out that one of my own Bm's has rsvp'd no....she CAN'T come to the shower!!!!!!! No real reason, just no...can't make it! ***? I'm really upset and feel like i'll look like a fool at my shower....my own BM can't come to my shower (when i've been to EVERYTHING else for her)??? Some friend of mine!!!!

Has this happened to anyone else? Where you mad/angry/upset/disappointed? Am I totally over-reacting?

sorry, needed to vent!

I would totally ask her whats up! I would be hurt too! But then again, maybe she has a personal issue and doesn't want to tell people?

Or you never know, maybe they are tricking you?
In any even, I'm sorry, but its your day, and you enjoy it! Don't let anything bother you!!

I wouldn't jump to conclusions at this point. I would find out the reason first, she probably has a conflict that she can't get out of.. But I would find out the reason before you question your friendship.

IF she can't come because of distance than I would understand, BUT if that isn't the case I would be really hurt!

Unless there is a GOOD reason why she can't be there then there is no excuse why she is not there for you. I would talk to her after the shower and find out what happened.

I'd be disappointed if one my BM's couldn't be there . I would hope she gave a reason though.....Just ask he what's up.

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Posted by Lil83108

IF she can't come because of distance than I would understand, BUT if that isn't the case I would be really hurt!

Unless there is a GOOD reason why she can't be there then there is no excuse why she is not there for you. I would talk to her after the shower and find out what happened.

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the distance can't be an issue....unless you consider staten island to long island a realll long commute!!!! but, when she had all her wedding/baby things in CT, i made the 3 hour drive there! arrrrgghhhhh!!!!!!

Maybe there was a family function that she already responded too.

Did you MOH make sure that all your BMs could make it to the shower?????

Edite to add: My MOH confirmed with all the BMs (nine) of the date to make sure they could all make it.

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Posted by GinaZ

Im sorry Thats def annoying!2 of my BMs didn't make it to my NY shower- I didn't really expect them to as they live in MA and ME. And my mom threw me shower in maine and they went to that. BUT, they were supposed to come and the night before called my sister and said tehy couldnt afford the gas. And its frustratinig cus I know Ill be at both their showers and practically planning them.

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that would make me so upset! I know I'm being a little bridezilla-ish and need to hear her side of the story, but this is the only shower i'm having and i wanted all my friends to be there....especially the girls who i'm closest to and are in the wedding party.....i'm starting to go from angry to sad....

A few of my BM's can't make it either of my showers... but I know that neither my mom or my FMIL consulted with them before planning the date. So honestly, is there anything I can do about it? I can't really expect them to drop their lives for me.

Sometimes I think we have to step back and realize that our BM's are people with lives of their own and not expect them to drop everything for us. As long as they are their for us with some of the planning, and standing their with us on the most important day of our lives, that should be good enough. JMO.

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Posted by wifetobe

Maybe there was a family function that she already responded too.

Did you MOH make sure that all your BMs could make it to the shower?????

Edite to add: My MOH confirmed with all the BMs (nine) of the date to make sure they could all make it.

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my sister is my MOH...i know she and my mom would have made sure the date was good for everyone....i'm so bummed right now!

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Posted by Luvbsb4eva

A few of my BM's can't make it either of my showers... but I know that neither my mom or my FMIL consulted with them before planning the date. So honestly, is there anything I can do about it? I can't really expect them to drop their lives for me.

Sometimes I think we have to step back and realize that our BM's are people with lives of their own and not expect them to drop everything for us. As long as they are their for us with some of the planning, and standing their with us on the most important day of our lives, that should be good enough. JMO.

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Well said.....and as I stated in my post...if your MOH didn't confirm that it's really not her fault.

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Posted by wifetobe

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Posted by Luvbsb4eva

A few of my BM's can't make it either of my showers... but I know that neither my mom or my FMIL consulted with them before planning the date. So honestly, is there anything I can do about it? I can't really expect them to drop their lives for me.

Sometimes I think we have to step back and realize that our BM's are people with lives of their own and not expect them to drop everything for us. As long as they are their for us with some of the planning, and standing their with us on the most important day of our lives, that should be good enough. JMO.

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Well said.....and as I stated in my post...if your MOH didn't confirm that it's really not her fault.

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i know....you both have a good point...i'm just bummed and needed to vent....

I think you have every right to feel upset and hurt by this...we know everyone else has lives too, but when I was in BP I made it a priority in my life to be there and help out in any way I could for all the major functions (Bridal shower, Bach party, RD, etc). I did this b/c it was one of my Best Friends and I love her and wanted to be there. Everyone's different, but I just feel that if they can't make it I guess I'm an option in their life and not important enough to make a priority.

So I feel ya girl, but you don't want to force her to be there and I'm sure you'll have a blast anyways b/c you will be surrounded by those who LOVE YOU!

I would be disappointed too. I was when one of the girls that I thought was my really good friend said shed be in the area but couldnt come. Not even stop by. I could care less about the gift. She also backed out on doing my make up for the wedding too.
I would see if shes got a good reason. She probably does.

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Posted by oktom22

I think you have every right to feel upset and hurt by this...we know everyone else has lives too, but when I was in BP I made it a priority in my life to be there and help out in any way I could for all the major functions (Bridal shower, Bach party, RD, etc). I did this b/c it was one of my Best Friends and I love her and wanted to be there. Everyone's different, but I just feel that if they can't make it I guess I'm an option in their life and not important enough to make a priority.

So I feel ya girl, but you don't want to force her to be there and I'm sure you'll have a blast anyways b/c you will be surrounded by those who LOVE YOU!

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aww, you're sweet, thanks hon! don't worry, i would NEVER force her to be there....I'm not even supposed to know she's not coming..lol... I know i'll have a good time regardless...opening gifts is fun no matter what!