Would It Be Wrong To Not Attend Your MOH's Wedding?
Original post by eden
I got married last year and booked my mediterranean honeymoon cruise this memorial weekend.
Problem is my friend, and former MOH, is planning to have her reception this year also on Memorial weekend but she has not even booked her reception location yet!!!!
She tells me that she definitely will book something by end of this month.
Realistically speaking, how possible is it to find a place with such short notice?
Second question is, would it be wrong if I decide to leave for my honeymoon before her wedding (assuming she even has a wedding)? Airfare is a few hundred more if I wait until after Memorial weekend because it will be peak summer travel to Europe. :(
Wha'ts a girl to do?
N.Y.bride
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I would tell her Im sorry I cant go. I had this cruise booked forever. If she planning her wedding this late then IMO she cant blame people for not coming.
I planned my wedding in 4 months and I totally understood if someone could not come b/c they had other plans.
eden
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Thanks for everyone advice... it's quite a difficult matter.
I had planned on booking my honeymoon for May since last year and she knew about this, but I didn't book it until a month ago (hoping the price would drop by then). Then after I booked I discovered that she was set on having her reception on May 27th.
My cruise leaves on May 29th. I would have to wait until the 28th to fly to Europe if she's having her reception the 27th.
It takes about 1 day to fly to Europe from here because of flight time and time difference. It would be cutting it close trying to fly into the port on the same day the cruise ship leaves... no time at all for delays, which is highly possible going to Europe with stopovers/layovers.
I'm also waiting for her to make up her mind about the date before booking airfare, in the meantime i can only watch helplessly as all the nonstop flights are booked up. :(
beautyq115
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But she still hasn't booked anything yet?
HeatherRose
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I'm sorry you have to go through this.. but i'm an odd one out, first and fore most, holiday weekends tend to book up first, with halls, so chances are slim shes gonna get it, unless shes not picky, then maybe... secondly, its your honeymoon, and yes she's only going to have one reception, but she obviously doesnt care to help you out and give u a def answer, i would just book your honeymoon and let her know your doing it because thats what you planned already.. good luck!
jenny711
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.
thelastresort
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Personally, I would go on vacation. She knew you were booking your trip, she is not booked so she has the ability to pick any date she wants and you stand to lose a lot of money. I would just say that it will hurt you to miss her wedding but this is a done deal (unless you can get that later flight out) and you stand to lose a lot of money. Maybe she can move the wedding. I don't see what the big deal is if she isn't booked yet.
October Bliss
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As someone who also got married in '06 and took a Med cruise for her HM, my advice to you is to GO ON YOUR HM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Do not change your cruise, do not change your flight, do not change anything. It is your HM
Think about it realistically . . . why should you change your HM when she has already had her wedding, but decided to delay her reception?? That was her choice. While I'm sure she had good reasons, you also had good reasons to delay your HM, and those reasons are the ones that should be important to you - not hers.
evnme
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go on your HM.
my cousin didn't come to my wedding b/c they booked a belated HM (they got married 2 months before us)
DH and i totally understood.
eden
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Posted by beautyq115
But she still hasn't booked anything yet?
She hasn't! :( She was looking a few weeks for an ethnic place but decided it's not her style, so now she stopped 'cus she thinks she has more choices, so now more time.
Of course we know how unrealistic that is, but she doesn't! She still thinks she has choices so she's taking her time researching when most of the places she's thinking about is probably booked already.
She has set her mind on one thing though - may 27th. Not sure if that's a good thing or bad thing, haha!
jenlen
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That's a pretty busy weekend, and I doubt she'll be able to book a reception hall for that weekend. Plus, if she knew you were going on your honeymoon, why would she plan the reception for the same weekend? If she wants a holiday weekend, you could suggest july 4th maybe? It's not that much farther away.
SusanAdam
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That's a tough situation to be in, but I have to agree with a lot of the other posts...you should go on your HM. She knew of your plans and now knows the exact dates that you will be gone, so it is up to her when she plans her reception. When and if she does book for Memorial Day weekend, she will know right then and there that you will be unable to make it. I don't think you should wait any longer to try and get a flight and trying to rush at the last second by flying out a day later is not a good idea. Anything could happen to delay you and don't want to start out your HM rushing like that to try and make the cruise. I can't imagine how confused and stressed you must be in making a decision, but she is aware of your plans and should be understanding that this was planned a while ago before she booked her reception. Good luck with coming to a decision.
Happybride2005
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i would go on the cruise. she knew when u were going. why does she want the w edding when you're leaving for the cruise
madseason
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Posted by tricia3381
i don't understand why shes waiting till march to set the date for a may wedding?? also does she realize that u will lose this $ if she has her wedding then? can't she choose another date?
Me too...I dont quite understand....
My MOH and I are getting married 4 mons apart, and she told me right away when she booked, so I know not to book during her wedding....but to lose that much money and she has like 3 mons till may.. I would talk to her...
Kris10546
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Go on your honeymoon and book now. Just like everyone else said, what are the chances that she is going to find something suitable for Mem weekend for this year? That gives her 3 months to not only find a RH, but the vendors too! Vendors are getting booked for my date and its 17 months away! Wish her luck, book your trip and enjoy yourself. Dont miss out on good airfare and good flights hoping that she doesnt book that weekend. Book it and enjoy your husband!!
Captsarkasm
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Personally....I would pick your day to leave...and be done with it before she picks hers......She can't blame you if you had your HM booked before she picked her date..... If she gave you a year notice....and you maliciously booked to be gone during her wedding, thats one thing...but by her procrastinating, it's causing you guys to have to pay more...I would say do what you have to do and let her adjust her plans around you if necessary.....
Love08
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Posted by futrmrsblt
I might be in the minority.. but If she still hasn't decided on a locale for this ..and since she's married and most likely knows you had this vaca-HM planned.. I would go on your HM and not feel bad at all
I think its really nice of you to even think of trying to accomodate her, but even though you are thikning of her she's not thinking of you.. so enjoy your HM
I agree with you, She is married already so your not missing the important part of it. 1200 is A LOT of money to lose.
BunnyBears
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no way! its YOUR HONEYMOON!! thats an important trip AND its already booked! you booked first so your plans are set - she on the other hand can pick a different day if she really wants u there. otherwise i'd miss it. i think its mean of her to plan a last minute wedding on your booked honeymoon and expect u to go.
good luck,
lizzy
BubbasBride
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Posted by thelastresort
Personally, I would go on vacation. She knew you were booking your trip, she is not booked so she has the ability to pick any date she wants and you stand to lose a lot of money. I would just say that it will hurt you to miss her wedding but this is a done deal (unless you can get that later flight out) and you stand to lose a lot of money. Maybe she can move the wedding. I don't see what the big deal is if she isn't booked yet.
I agree 100%
Fall Bride 2008
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Posted by eden
I got married last year and booked my mediterranean honeymoon cruise this memorial weekend.
Problem is my friend, and former MOH, is planning to have her reception this year also on Memorial weekend but she has not even booked her reception location yet!!!!
She tells me that she definitely will book something by end of this month.
Realistically speaking, how possible is it to find a place with such short notice?
Second question is, would it be wrong if I decide to leave for my honeymoon before her wedding (assuming she even has a wedding)? Airfare is a few hundred more if I wait until after Memorial weekend because it will be peak summer travel to Europe. :(
Wha'ts a girl to do?
ummmm I am sure she knew you had your honeymoon planned already. She should be think that you have plans already
LBride
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In the grand scheme of it all, what's more important to you, saving money or saving a friendship? I know if my friend missed my wedding for a vacation that could be planned just a few days later, I would be insulted.
