Would this be rude? EDITED to include letter

AeroJenn Posted: Mar 25, 2007 01:33 PM

Would this be rude? EDITED to include letter

I posted below about a guest who RSVP'd for more people than she was invited with. I've tried getting in touch with her via phone like 6 times (even left a message). She's not answering her phone and her answering machine is full (which means she hasnt checked in in forever).

I'm really upset at the situation and the only way I can think of getting in touch with her is to mail her a note! Would it be out of line or rude to mail her a note/letter telling her the situation and asking her to please call me ASAP?

Here's what i was going to write:

Dear Lxxxxx,

Hope all is well. I've tried calling you many times but your voice mailbox seems to be full and I haven't been able to get in touch with you. Chris and I received your RSVP card for the wedding and noticed that you replied for 3 people. Unfortunately, we were onyl able to invite you with one guest, as it stated on your inner envelope. We wish we could have invited you with Rxxxxxxxx and Sxxxxx, however, we are already over our limit and we just weren't able to do so.
Again, we are very sorry that we couldn't invite you with two guests, but we hope you understand our reasoning. Please fee free to call me if you have any questions. In the meantime, I will mark you down for two instead.

Love,
jenn and chris

GettinHutched Posted: Mar 25, 2007 01:35 PM

Re: Would this be rude?

You're not rude at all Jenn- she's the one who's rude! You do what you gotta do!!

Dee9503 Posted: Mar 25, 2007 01:35 PM

Re: Would this be rude?

No, I don't think it's rude, but she still may not get back to you.

Elise&Matt Posted: Mar 25, 2007 01:37 PM

Re: Would this be rude?

Posted by GettinHutched

You're not rude at all Jenn- she's the one who's rude! You do what you gotta do!!

I agree!! go get 'em girl!!

eelharas4700 Posted: Mar 25, 2007 01:37 PM

Re: Would this be rude?

i dont think its rude of you. this is one of my worries. my cousins bring their boyfriends and girlfriends to every family event with out being invited.....i worry about them coming.

dancerandchef Posted: Mar 25, 2007 01:41 PM

Re: Would this be rude?

I really don't think that it would be rude. I am not sure if I would bring up the situation in the letter. I would mention in the letter that I have been trying to get a hold of you and mention that it is wedding related. Then let her know to call her as soon as possible. If mention the whole situation she may not call. It's depends on the person. I think at this point that is the only way to contact her. I hope that I helped you out. We wish you two best wishes on your special day.

dancer and chef

AeroJenn Posted: Mar 25, 2007 01:42 PM

Re: Would this be rude?

Posted by Dee9503

No, I don't think it's rude, but she still may not get back to you.

Yea i know....this is my fear.

Dee9503 Posted: Mar 25, 2007 01:48 PM

Re: Would this be rude? EDITED to include letter

Posted by AeroJenn

I posted below about a guest who RSVP'd for more people than she was invited with. I've tried getting in touch with her via phone like 6 times (even left a message). She's not answering her phone and her answering machine is full (which means she hasnt checked in in forever).

I'm really upset at the situation and the only way I can think of getting in touch with her is to mail her a note! Would it be out of line or rude to mail her a note/letter telling her the situation and asking her to please call me ASAP?

Here's what i was going to write:

Dear Lxxxxx,

Hope all is well. I've tried calling you many times but your voice mailbox seems to be full and I haven't been able to get in touch with you. Chris and I received your RSVP card for the wedding and noticed that you replied for 3 people. Unfortunately, we were onyl able to invite you with one guest, as it stated on your inner envelope. We wish we could have invited you with Rxxxxxxxx and Sxxxxx, however, we are already over our limit and we just weren't able to do so.
Again, we are very sorry that we couldn't invite you with two guests, but we hope you understand our reasoning. Please fee free to call me if you have any questions. In the meantime, I will mark you down for two instead.

Love,
jenn and chris

I think that is perfect and to the point. If she still comes with the girls than she is not a nice person at all...

PegaLega Posted: Mar 25, 2007 01:49 PM

Re: Would this be rude? EDITED to include letter

No its not rude. Her RSVP'ong more then those that were originally invited is rude
I think the letter is a good way of getting in touch with her, especially if she doesnt check her messages

GettinHutched Posted: Mar 25, 2007 01:59 PM

Re: Would this be rude? EDITED to include letter

The letter is perfect!!! Like I said, do what you gotta do. Who cares what she thinks? She's completely in the wrong here. Go for it!

PattyK Posted: Mar 25, 2007 02:06 PM

Re: Would this be rude? EDITED to include letter

I don't think it is rude at all. Your letter is exact and to the point. She was the one that was rude by sending her RSVP with additional guest.

dancerandchef Posted: Mar 25, 2007 02:09 PM

Re: Would this be rude? EDITED to include letter

That's perfect.

dancer and chef

Pencils Posted: Mar 25, 2007 02:25 PM

Re: Would this be rude? EDITED to include letter

Hey, date twin--

I think that's your only option at this point. Yeah, it's a little rude, but only in response to that person being rude to you. She's put you in an awful place--you can either back down or give up, which is what she's hoping, or be a little rude in return. Besides, I don't really think it's rude to stop people from walking all over you, which is what she's trying to do. Why do people DO that? Write in extra people? My invitations are going out this week, I hope I don't get it also, as we're a very small wedding.

GwynethBride Posted: Mar 25, 2007 02:40 PM

Re: Would this be rude? EDITED to include letter

Very well-said - firm but polite. SHE is the rude one

AeroJenn Posted: Mar 25, 2007 02:45 PM

Re: Would this be rude? EDITED to include letter

Posted by Pencils

Hey, date twin--

I think that's your only option at this point. Yeah, it's a little rude, but only in response to that person being rude to you. She's put you in an awful place--you can either back down or give up, which is what she's hoping, or be a little rude in return. Besides, I don't really think it's rude to stop people from walking all over you, which is what she's trying to do. Why do people DO that? Write in extra people? My invitations are going out this week, I hope I don't get it also, as we're a very small wedding.

Normally I would never do something liek this, but like you said, its in response to HER rudeness. I know she did it expecting me to just be like 'oh, well' and not confront her on it, but if we do that with her, we have to do it with everyone! And we dont have the money or the space for extra people. I just feel like, she wouldnt want someone to have done that at her wedding, so why would she do it to someone else?? Weddings really bring out the worst in people....

ETA: I really hope you dont go through it either!!!

MF9282 Posted: Mar 25, 2007 04:39 PM

Re: Would this be rude? EDITED to include letter

I think it is perfectly worded. That is a little weird though to RSVP for 3 people?? I don't understand people. If it says Ms....and guest (that means RSVP for 1 or 2) Mr. & Mrs....and Family (either just the 2 or the two and family) What goes through people's minds??

jjk1007 Posted: Mar 25, 2007 04:43 PM

Re: Would this be rude? EDITED to include letter

You are completely in the right mailing her that letter. Its rude of her to assume that she can bring more people than she was alotted.
Your letter is worded very nicely and is very to the point so there is no misunderstanding. I think its great. Hopefully she doesnt choose to take it the wrong way. Theres really nothing more you can do.