Would this bother you? Kinda Long

BoogieDownBride Posted: Dec 30, 2003 05:09 PM

Would this bother you? Kinda Long

I'm a pretty sensitive person to begin with, and the wedding has heightened it, I think. But here goes:

I have lived with my FH for over 2 years. In that time, there have been certain family members of his who send us mail (holiday cards, invitations, etc) with his full name and just my first name (Mr. John Smith and Jane or worse, Mr. John Smith and Fiancee). I have even gotten pieces of mail from them addressed directly to me with just my first name on them! I'm actually surprised that mail with just a first name on it would even get delivered, but anyway....

I've told my FMIL that it bothers me, and she claims to have told these people, but still it keeps happening. I stamp every piece of outgoing mail with both of our names and our address......

As I said in the beginning, maybe I am just being sensitive, but it does bother me a lot. I mean, how hard is it to ask someone what my last name is? I would never send out a piece of mail to someone without their full name. I just think it's inconsiderate. Really just needed to vent........

kel2004 Posted: Dec 30, 2003 05:11 PM

Re: Would this bother you? Kinda Long

I agree that is rude and inconsiderate. Some people are just lazy...

2003OCT10 Posted: Dec 30, 2003 05:12 PM

Re: Would this bother you? Kinda Long

If you have a really complicated last name, people might feel weird writing it out than finding out it was spelled wrong! Otherwise.. I have no idea.. I think it would irk me, but I wouldn't let it get the best of me.... Eventually I would send them Christmas or Birthday cards addressed to Mr. John Brown and Julie!!!!

Boop2704 Posted: Dec 30, 2003 05:12 PM

Re: Would this bother you? Kinda Long

Sorry, maybe they feel stupid asking you your last name because they feel they should already know it. I have done that in the past. I didn't know a persons last name and wrote to John Smith & jane. I felt bad, but I didn't know their name and wanted to include them.

dbcrosby Posted: Dec 30, 2003 05:14 PM

Re: Would this bother you? Kinda Long

i would be offended too. i would feel like they havent taken the time out to get to know me at all- especially not knowing my last name

Xelindrya Posted: Dec 30, 2003 05:16 PM

Re: Would this bother you? Kinda Long

Yeah I think it would irk me.

Sort of like 'oh who cares her name will be Mrs John Smith soon enough, why bother?'

Kind of rude.

aliciahelene Posted: Dec 30, 2003 05:17 PM

Re: Would this bother you? Kinda Long

I do think its rude, but if it makes you feel any better, for the longets time I didnt have a name..i was ' Dex;'s fiance'...ohh I hated it!!!!

BoogieDownBride Posted: Dec 30, 2003 05:17 PM

Re: Would this bother you? Kinda Long

Posted by Boop2704

Sorry, maybe they feel stupid asking you your last name because they feel they should already know it. I have done that in the past. I didn't know a persons last name and wrote to John Smith & jane. I felt bad, but I didn't know their name and wanted to include them.

I agree with you, if you don't know and send someone one piece of mail without their full name, it's not that bad. And it's really nice that you want the other person to be included....But when people who have known you for over 4 years and who will very shortly be your relatives send you a Christmas card every year , wedding invitations, engagement cards, Tupperware party invites, etc without your last name, and do so on a regular basis, it's time to just ask! Or at least read my name on the return address of the Christmas card we sent them, and write it in their address book!

Not the end of the world, I know, but I have to admit that when I get one of those cards in the mail I get kinda ticked off!

wc0143 Posted: Dec 30, 2003 05:20 PM

Re: Would this bother you? Kinda Long

OHMIGOD!!!!

This happens to me ALL THE TIME!!! It is my biggest pet peeve!!! FH & MOH think I'm insane and can't understand why it makes me sooooo ANGRY!!!

I'm sorry but since August all of the people we received Xmas cards from that do this have gotten STD's and Xmas cards from us with BOTH of our last names on the return label ... take the two seconds to write those extra five letters after Wendy, OK????!!!!!!!!!!

septbride Posted: Dec 30, 2003 05:21 PM

Re: Would this bother you? Kinda Long

Things like that do irk me b/c I always try get eveyone's name right.

DH and I did get a laugh at the Christmas card we received from one of his friend's the other day that said ' my name & his name and my maiden name'.

People just don't take the time to get things right.... sometimes you just have to laugh about it though.

groovypeg Posted: Dec 30, 2003 05:43 PM

Re: Would this bother you? Kinda Long

oh yeah, things like that bother me alot!!!!!!!!

i got invited to fh's cousin's wedding and the invite read mr eric ___ and joanna! i am going to be part of the family-they should know my last name!!!!!!

tourist Posted: Dec 30, 2003 05:44 PM

Re: Would this bother you? Kinda Long

I get mail all the time from my old roomate that has my first & last name & his first. I think she knows it, but she is a little flaky. We don't live together but he cosigned, so his name is on the mailbox, and I think she knows that too.

I also thought it was odd that my grandmother sent a Christmas card to just me.
She buys himpresets, but i guess sicen we don't live togehter, she sent it just to me.

So did a close friend. I sent hers to her & her BF, who I hardly know, and I probably would have doen it even if they didn't live together.
That bothered me more than the others.

They really should ask your FMIL if they don't know your last name.
if you want to be petty, tell FMIL you are keeping your maiden name, sicne it hasn't gotten enoguh use lately.

palebride Posted: Dec 30, 2003 05:45 PM

Re: Would this bother you? Kinda Long

things like that bother me a lot too....
i don't think you're being sensitive, i think they're being lazy and insensitive....can your FH say something to them?

eroxgirl Posted: Dec 30, 2003 05:49 PM

Re: Would this bother you? Kinda Long

Posted by groovypeg

oh yeah, things like that bother me alot!!!!!!!!

i got invited to fh's cousin's wedding and the invite read mr eric ___ and joanna! i am going to be part of the family-they should know my last name!!!!!!

I get these things ALL the time. One of FH's cousins sent us an invitation and got my last name right and FH's last name wrong!!! His own family!!!!

I don't let it bother me anymore because I've seen it happen too many times. To the point where I've started doing it myself because if they're not going to make the effort to get it right, why am I going to drive myself crazy? JMO

wenndypoo Posted: Dec 30, 2003 05:51 PM

Re: Would this bother you? Kinda Long

Ohhhh yeah!!!!
FI's family does this all the time. Or they don't invite me at all!
The best is when his cousin got married last year, and sent our invite to his parents house!
Hellooo, make a phone call, get the address, you lazy poop!
Poor manners drive me crazy!!

junebride04 Posted: Dec 30, 2003 05:52 PM

Re: Would this bother you? Kinda Long

it has happend to me a couple of times where fh and i have gotten and invitation and it has said 'fh's name & guest' meanwhile these people have known me for 3 years!!
at first it bothered me, but i wouldn't let it get the best of me. some people really just don't know any better.

Nora101004 Posted: Dec 30, 2003 07:04 PM

Re: Would this bother you? Kinda Long

I am getting my revenge at the wedding with their place cards. I'm putting Mr. John Smith and Guest.

sp04 Posted: Dec 30, 2003 07:35 PM

Re: Would this bother you? Kinda Long

No i agree with you completely... That is so wrong and i don't think that is acceptable.. If they do not know your last name they should FIND OUT!! I live with FH for almost 2 years now as well.. and sometimes it is just his name on the mail but most of the time it says both of our full names.... I completely agree with you and i don't think you are being extra sensitive.

halloweenbride04 Posted: Dec 30, 2003 07:58 PM

Re: Would this bother you? Kinda Long

I hear ya!! FH and I just had this discussion....my pet peeve is when the envelope is addressed just to him! His sister did that and knows my last name, but then the card was written out to both of us.