Would you be insulted....

I think it depends a lot on the situation. Personally, I have a lot of close girlfriends (I was in a sorority and I just always was close with a lot of people).

There is no WAY I could have had everyone I wanted in my bridal party. I had friends go 'Oh my god, do I get to be a bridesmaid?' And I kind of just didn't say anything.

It is really hard. . .

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Posted by Soon2beMrsC

if you asked a close friend to be in your bridal party and then they didnt ask you to be in theirs?

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A friend of mine got married last year and I wasn't in her bridal party reason being she had alot of cousins and sister in laws to put in. She really didn't have a say. Her FMIL wanted couples only meaning her boys with her daughter in laws.
I asked her to be in mine and even a friend of hers put her in and she wasn't in her party. I wasn't offended. I understood.

i would be mad if she asked other friends....if it was only family then I would understand...

maybe she is waiting for closer to the wedding to ask you? or did her BP already get dresses?

I would probably be a litte hurt/insulted but more for her not saying anything about then not being in the BP. You are obviously good enough friends to ask her to be in your bridal party that she should be close enough to give you a reason why.

My college roommate who I am still very close friends with got married this past spring and I wasn't in the BP. I was getting more frustrated with her for not saying anything to me about -- it turned out that she didn't ask for very good reason and i totally understood and am even considering asking her to be in mine, but she shouldn't have waited to say something she should have just said it.

I hope that this post isn't about ME but I have a feeling that it is. I also have a feeling that you posted this so that I would see it - which I did.

James and I both decided that we wanted a small bridal party - in fact at one point we weren't going to have one at all but we choose to have one so that we could include both of our sisters in our wedding. My sister - the Maid of Honor and James's sister - the Matron of Honor. I also asked my best friend Justine as well - she is like family to me, is my best friend and I have known her for many years - and I don't think that I have to defend my reason for asking her. I have other friends including you that I could have included but as a couple we choose not to because we felt like that would be 'insulting' to the other people who we didn't include - like members of our family. How could I ask 3 of my friends and not any of my cousins? Or all of my cousins and not all of my friends? We felt keeping it small would alleviate some of these problems which I spoke to you about so many times and the bottom line is that we wanted to keep it small in the first place - that is just our style.

I feel really bad that your feelings are hurt - and I would never want any of my friends, ESPECIALLY you to be upset with me. You shouldn't feel insulted either - and I really don't see why you would feel insulted to begin with ?? - its not like I am having a large bridal party with all of my friends and you are the only one who was not included - I'm having the exact opposite - a really small bridal party that includes my sisters and one friend. If you are that upset about it and you do not want to include me in your bridal party anymore I understand. It's your day and you should do what YOU want and what will make YOU happy. That is what we are doing. I wouldn't want you to regret asking me and wish that you didn't and it be something that bothers you. Maybe you would feel less upset about it if I wasn't in yours and that is fine. You are my friend and I want you to be happy - and I will be just as happy for you and Tommy whether I am in your bridal party or not - to me it makes no difference on our friendship. I love you as a friend no matter what and you should do whatever feels right.

This is a little weird since we are sitting like 5 feet from eachother

But anyway I <3 you and please don't be upset. It doesn't mean that I don't consider you to be one of my closest friends. This is just the decision that James and I made and we are happy with it. To be honest, I didn't know that you felt this way. I'm sorry!

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Posted by Soon2beMrsC

if you asked a close friend to be in your bridal party and then they didnt ask you to be in theirs?

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Not really. That tit-for-tat stuff just isn't my cup of tea. If she picked someone I thought she wasn't as close to - I'd be a little miffed, but I'd know where I stood at least.

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Posted by Future Mulligan

I hope that this post isn't about ME but I have a feeling that it is.

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I hope so too.

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Posted by LuvMyAlfonse

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Posted by Future Mulligan

I hope that this post isn't about ME but I have a feeling that it is.

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I hope so too.

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ditto!

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Posted by Future Mulligan

I hope that this post isn't about ME but I have a feeling that it is. I also have a feeling that you posted this so that I would see it - which I did.

James and I both decided that we wanted a small bridal party - in fact at one point we weren't going to have one at all but we choose to have one so that we could include both of our sisters in our wedding. My sister - the Maid of Honor and James's sister - the Matron of Honor. I also asked my best friend Justine as well - she is like family to me, is my best friend and I have known her for many years - and I don't think that I have to defend my reason for asking her. I have other friends including you that I could have included but as a couple we choose not to because we felt like that would be 'insulting' to the other people who we didn't include - like members of our family. How could I ask 3 of my friends and not any of my cousins? Or all of my cousins and not all of my friends? We felt keeping it small would alleviate some of these problems which I spoke to you about so many times and the bottom line is that we wanted to keep it small in the first place - that is just our style.

I feel really bad that your feelings are hurt - and I would never want any of my friends, ESPECIALLY you to be upset with me. You shouldn't feel insulted either - and I really don't see why you would feel insulted to begin with ?? - its not like I am having a large bridal party with all of my friends and you are the only one who was not included - I'm having the exact opposite - a really small bridal party that includes my sisters and one friend. If you are that upset about it and you do not want to include me in your bridal party anymore I understand. It's your day and you should do what YOU want and what will make YOU happy. That is what we are doing. I wouldn't want you to regret asking me and wish that you didn't and it be something that bothers you. Maybe you would feel less upset about it if I wasn't in yours and that is fine. You are my friend and I want you to be happy - and I will be just as happy for you and Tommy whether I am in your bridal party or not - to me it makes no difference on our friendship. I love you as a friend no matter what and you should do whatever feels right.

This is a little weird since we are sitting like 5 feet from eachother

But anyway I <3 you and please don't be upset. It doesn't mean that I don't consider you to be one of my closest friends. This is just the decision that James and I made and we are happy with it. To be honest, I didn't know that you felt this way. I'm sorry!

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I initially was going to reply that yes, I would be offended but in a situation like this where it's just family and one friend who is just like family, I would understand. It might make me bitter that a friend other than me was chosen, but I don't know how close your relationship is.

it's hard to feel like your friend doesnt value oyu as much as you value her, but i think this situation is a bit different and clearly no harm was intended....

if your friend invited 5 friends and left you out it would be a different story. totally within her right, but more of a reason to be upset