Would you break off your engagement

that is how I felt for the longest time. I would discuss the issue with FH before you decide on anything. SOmetimes FH and even his family don't realize how they are treating you.

You really need to involve your FH into the issue.

You are marrying the family also. Your FH needs to make clear to his family that you are part of all functions he would be in.

You need to put your foot down on this one.

Does your FH stick up for you when his parents don't invite you to certain functions? Does he go without you? I would be very upset if FH did either of these things. But if he sticks up for you then I would not ruin my relationship with the man that I love because of his family. As long as he is by your side with everything, I would not call off the wedding <--JMHO. I would ask him to talk to his parents though and find out what their problem is with you and see if you can all work past this. He needs to tell them if they want to see him at family events it is you and him, or nothing. I'm sorry they are treating you like this!!!

I will say this: Past behavior is a good predictor of future behavior.

If it makes you feel uncomfortable now, it will only get worse later. Speak to your FH and let him understand the gravity of the situation. I would suggest he show you a good faith effort in keeping his family in check by doing something about it now. It takes more than love to make a marriage work, and unfortunately, in-laws can be a very negative influence if you let them be.

i pondered the same exact thing.

As many of these wonderful ladies have read, I had a g_d awful experience with my in laws that started almost immediately after I got engaged last summer. These people are nuts. They made me cry non-stop. I had to get more minutes added to my phone because I kept going over! (Seriously!)

But.....

In the end it was worth it. Planning a wedding is very stressful and brings out the worst in people - even if their worst is nothing that is directly wedding-related. Hang in there....and remember, you're not marrying FH's parents, you're marrying him. And, you don't have to like or love them, you only need to tolerate them.

I'm here if you need me. Hold on tight. I PROMISE, it will be worth it.

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Posted by ik1

Its his sister and brother that really start the real trouble. He sticks up for me when he is speaking to me, but even if it has not become a big problem yet it will, So I can't come to there house and the hole family is over and it is going to destroy our relationship so why try and keep this marriage going, Why? He sides with me and will not go, but I think he needs to start a fight with them? I am not saying never speak to them, but make them wonder and I think he should tell them that it both of us or no one and he has not yet. He wants us to try to settle it first and then he will get involved, so after writting this I have decieded that if he wants me he knows what he has to do and because I will leave.

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Honestly, if he sticks up for you, what more do you want? Saying you want him to 'fight' with his family seems selfish, IMHO. Good luck with your situation

You don't seem satisfied with how he is handling his family so the issue is really with him and not them.

Someone here said past behavior is a good predictor of future behavior. You have to make clear how they make you feel and he has to come up with some ways to deal with them. And basically you both have to agree on some boundaries/guidelines.

Good Luck!

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Posted by sr081906

You really need to involve your FH into the issue.

You are marrying the family also. Your FH needs to make clear to his family that you are part of all functions he would be in.

You need to put your foot down on this one.

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exactly!!!! i'm SO sorry!!!

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Posted by tuti0907

I will say this: Past behavior is a good predictor of future behavior.

If it makes you feel uncomfortable now, it will only get worse later. Speak to your FH and let him understand the gravity of the situation. I would suggest he show you a good faith effort in keeping his family in check by doing something about it now. It takes more than love to make a marriage work, and unfortunately, in-laws can be a very negative influence if you let them be.

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also agree!!! wow ladies-- great stuff!!

i'm so sorry again that you are going through this

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Posted by XFINALLYX

wow this sounds like my life!! don't give up on your fiancee. there's a way of just ignoring them. move away!! haha thats what i did. i now live in Florida and don't have to deal with them. and now that I live here, they're crazy about me and ask about me all of the time. its really strange. if you truly are in love with your FH, no one else should get in the way of that

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same thing with me, but in reverse. fmil LOVED me until we moved close, no all she does is b|tch at us and accuse me of brainwashing fh, etc. needless to say we're moving back to ny as soon as the lease is up. (just one of many reasons.)