Would you forgive...

Original post by aliwnec10

Sep 26, 2006 09:01 AM

your sister if she said that she isn't coming to the RD, nor is she staying for your reception?

Her excuse... she has a 7 & 8 year old daughters (my nieces) who will be tired and it will be too much for them. And getting a babysitter... well the babysitter wouldn't be able to handle them. So after the ceremony, her, my BIL and my 2 nieces are going home.

I can't believe she's doing this to me. Well to some extent i can because this is who she is. Well after this wedding... we are done as sisters.

(Sorry... i needed to vent)

NY031978 Posted: Sep 26, 2006 01:02 PM

Re: Would you forgive...

That is nuts....if my sister said that too me id think it was a joke! if she was serious id just pull the plug now....esp after all i did for her wedding!! i so would not stand for that crapola!!

luvabul Posted: Sep 26, 2006 01:17 PM

Re: Would you forgive...

no!! that is definately not an excuse, obviously she just doesnt care

tiffandmatt Posted: Sep 26, 2006 01:24 PM

Re: Would you forgive...

I could see MAYBE not going to the RD, but not staying for the reception?? That seems weird and hurtful for a sister to do to you!!

Even if she is worried that the kids might not behave well she could always stay for an hour or so! Besides the kids might surprise her and be good. Also, if she always makes the kids leave for fear they won't behave then they will never learn how to behave in public settings. It will be a big loud party who cares if they aren't perfect anyway? As long as they are quiet for the ceremony.

I would be hurt! Sorry that she would do this to you! Do you think you could talk to her and tell her how much it hurts you, the way you described her she seems a little hard to deal with, but maybe you can try? Good luck.

Kara and Todd Posted: Sep 26, 2006 01:41 PM

Re: Would you forgive...

That is TOTALLY inconsiderate, rude, and awful of her!

Now, get it ALL out NOW and try not to let it ruin the RD or the reception - or any part of the wedding day. It's awful - I completely agree... but don't give her so much power that you let her ruin your day.

Focus on you and your FH and all the wonderful, supportive people who are with you on that day.

smara Posted: Sep 26, 2006 01:42 PM

Re: Would you forgive...

Posted by Kara and Todd

Focus on you and your FH and all the wonderful, supportive people who are with you on that day.

Well Said

CLMon7906 Posted: Sep 26, 2006 01:44 PM

Re: Would you forgive...

I would have issues getting over it for sure. In time [looooooooooooooooooooooooooooots of it] I might forgive it....but that is something I am sure I wouldn't forget EVER.

Is there anything you can think of that might be why she doesn't want to stay?

Maybe talk to her ALONE about it...there could be underlying issues with her husband that are keeping her from enjoying the day with you.

sarahradio5 Posted: Sep 26, 2006 02:11 PM

Re: Would you forgive...

I would be VERY pissed. How selfish can she get? Sounds like jealousy to me... and immaturity.

What does the rest of your family say about her decision?

snydl40 Posted: Sep 26, 2006 02:47 PM

Re: Would you forgive...

Me personally-NO I would not forgive her. If a babysitter can't handle her kids, maybe there is something wrong right there? I would NEVER miss either of my brother's weddings-unless I was dead.-And still I would be there in spirit.

lucite Posted: Sep 26, 2006 03:19 PM

Re: Would you forgive...

It would be very hard to forgive. I would remain cordial but it will forever put a strain on our relationship.

GabrielleandJohn Posted: Sep 26, 2006 03:59 PM

Re: Would you forgive...

Absolutely not! I have 6 sisters and if any one of them pulled that crap I would not get over it. Give me a break. Three of my older sisters have kids. My oldest sis lives in texas with a 7, 5 and 3 year old. She is flying her inlaws down to watch the kids from Thursday until Monday so she doesn't miss anything. My second sister has a 5 and 3 year old and is having her inlaws watch the kids overnight. My third sister has a 7 and 6 year old and she is having them go to sleep overs at their friends houses so she can come. All of my sisters are staying in the hotel the night of the wedding.

It is crap what she is doing. This didn't sneak up on her!!

Uggh, I am mad for you.

DanNette Posted: Sep 26, 2006 04:00 PM

Re: Would you forgive...

I feel bad for you because you are upset, but I feel worse for her. Think of all the things and memories she is goign to miss out on because she doesn't know how to raise her children.

Sounds like you'll have a better time once she is gone!!!!

ssdbk Posted: Sep 26, 2006 04:05 PM

Re: Would you forgive...

No! My sister didn't come to my bachelorette party and I even think that was wrong. If she had skipped my reception I would not be talking to her.

AllJoy Posted: Sep 26, 2006 06:16 PM

Re: Would you forgive...

I'm so sorry, no I wouldn't forgive her. FH's brother didn't show for our e-party and I'm sure he'll plan a trip for himself for our wedding day.

Captsarkasm Posted: Sep 26, 2006 07:47 PM

Re: Would you forgive...

Is your sis your MOH?? are you generally not close?? personally, my sister would NEVER do that...she's just as excited as I am and I would not be able to forgive her if that was her reasoning for missing the reception...JMO

babybug631 Posted: Sep 26, 2006 07:55 PM

Re: Would you forgive...

I wouldn't put up with that, that's unacceptable.

LandsEnd06 Posted: Sep 26, 2006 07:56 PM

Re: Would you forgive...

No I would not forgive her. Don't they have a babysitter. That would make me mad too! Sorry! Hang in there!

aliwnec10 Posted: Sep 26, 2006 08:04 PM

Re: Would you forgive...

Thanks girls!!! I'm glad to know that i'm not overreacting at all... (even though i know i'm not)

But here's the thing... my nieces are supposed to be the FG. So i could do one of two things:

1-tell her to take a flying leap and tell her not to come at all (this would therefore make her pull my nieces from the wedding... yes she'd do this)

or

2-just ignore it and let her come to the ceremony and risk punching her out while walking down the isle

So what should i do??? I want my nieces to be in my wedding... but at what cost? i know that seeing her at the ceremony would infuriate me to no end and just seeing her face would piss me off. Do i want that on my wedding day?

***When i told her i didn't understand and that i had a problem with all of this... her response was that she didn't have to explain her choices to me. Umm... YES SHE DOES when you're missing my wedding! GGRrrr.....

butterpecan Posted: Sep 26, 2006 08:17 PM

Re: Would you forgive...

I vote to forgive her and kill her with kindness.

aliwnec10 Posted: Sep 26, 2006 08:20 PM

Re: Would you forgive...

Posted by butterpecan

I vote to forgive her and kill her with kindness.

I hate to sound harsh here... but i will never forgive her for this, nor will i forget. I'm not someone that you can continously sh*t on and i'll just smile. And i've hit my limit with her!

daniebc16 Posted: Sep 26, 2006 08:35 PM

Re: Would you forgive...

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My sister is my MOH...I would be devestated...I think there is something seriously wrong here and you should probably address it asap!