Would you forgive...

I promise I would never determine the amount of interaction you should or should not continue to have with your sister. If she is that much of a stress to you, then you would CERTAINLY be right to keep a distance from her as much as possible. But remember that her kids are also a part of her. So you have to be okay with not seeing them anymore either.

It is actually the 'forgiving' part I was speaking to earlier. Don't see her, don't hang out with her, don't call her... whatever you need to do to keep yourself from pulling your hair out. But DO forgive her. The weight of carrying around anger, resentment and hostility is something you don't need. Especially on your wedding day. Write it off as just another example of why you can't be too terribly close to her. And then say a prayer for her that she realizes one day that her behaviour has alienated people who really wanted to and tried to love her. If everything you are saying is true, I hope that this realization happens before her daughters abandon her as well.

You have a beautiful new home, a FH who loves you, wonderful friends and you will have a BEAUTIFUL wedding day. I hope this 'glitch' doesn't make it too hard for you.

ETA: FH's brothers are not coming to the wedding. I was upset for him, but he just shrugged and said ; 'That's why I am not close to them.'

sorry - but no i would be so angry and hurt - i would not be able to forgive her. my parents would totally flip their lids too! i am surprised other family members arent saying something to her.

sorry this suxs.

Yes, I would be very Disappointed in her! She Stinks! hopefully when she is leaving in front of other people....who are having a blast at your wedding will make her feel bad for leaving.

I would be pissed!!!! What does the rest of your family think?

My niece and nephew were 2 1/2 and 4 at our wedding. They were nearly the last ones on the dance floor that night. They were dancing to everything. And then they slept in until 10 the next morning to the happiness of their parents. Our other ring bearer was 2 and he made it through the cake cutting which was late in the night. The only other 2 kids were a brother and sister, 5 and 10. They were having a ball too.

If they don't want to come, then fine. But I'd ask the rest of your family what they think too. They know them better than us.

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Posted by roxyspark

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Posted by cherilicious16

sorry if this is blunt....but, in my opinion, what she is doing is selfish and wrong

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I agree, I would be very upset if my sister didn't come to my wedding.

This sounds like very strange behavior, maybe your sister has some issues (depression, fear of crowds), that is preventing her from going.

I cannot understand why she wouldn't be there.

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nope. no fear of crowds or depression. Nothing like that.

We had an issue a few months ago because she was upset that she wasn't in my bridal party. We talked and i explained my various reasons and to my understanding... we were okay.

Now this. Whether this is revenge or her being spiteful... only she knows that. But no matter what has happened in the past or not, i feel that family should be there no matter what and support one another through important events in their lives. Apparently she thinks differently.

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Posted by gonzo23456

In all honesty 'NO.' I would harbor resentment. I have three sisters all with children who are coming to the reception. Two are flying from out of town. The other sister will have a 3 month old by the time of my wedding. You only get married once! It's not like the children are extreamly young. By 7 or 8, a babysitter should be able to come. I feel there has to be more to the story (on your sisters side).

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I know! My other niece (my brothers baby) is 2 months old and she's coming for the whole thing. A friend of the family is bringing her 1 1/2 year old to the wedding...

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Posted by dancinmyazoff

HOLY WOW...I would NOT forgive her, she's your sister how much closer can you get than that. She should be at your RD AND for every minute of your wedding. I'm sorry to hear that you're going through something like this so close to your wedding. You two should honestly sit down and have a talk because that is messed up. Do your parents know about this? If so, have they said anything about it?

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No my parents haven't. Well my dad is now deceased... but they didn't talk. My mom and my sister don't talk either. My sister only calls my mom when she wants something or when she wants to b*tch about me. So really my mom can't say anything because they don't have a relationship... so my sister wouldn't listen anyway.

Sorry that you are going through this - I think she is using her kids as an excuse and liek others said being selfish and inconsiderate.

I would be PO'D if my sister did this to me. At my wedding my sister was there with her 2 yr old daughter. And my stepson who is 8 was in the wedding. An 8 yr can handle it and my neice was dancing up a storm.

Hope she comes to her senses and realize how insensitive she is being.

Now that I've read more about your situation. I'd just let it go. She's selfish. Now you don't have to pay for her.

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Posted by rojerono

I don't know...

If she doesn't want to come to the reception, I would be hurt. But I wouldn't write her off. I would kind of feel like... well I guess that it is your loss! She will be missing a fabulous time at a BEAUTIFUL wedding. She will likely regret it in the long run.

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I sort of agree with rojerono ... I would be disappointed, but from what I can tell it's stressful to have kids and you have to change a lot of your plans around. I'm expecting my brother, SIL and nieces to leave early because the reception is 7-12 and what are they going to do with the kids? I don't want them to, and hopefully they figure something out, but if they decide to go I completely understand that. I know it's not the same as not coming, but I guess I just have a different view of people missing the reception. If my siblings blew off the ceremony then I'd be mad, but just because they can't or don't want to attend the reception doesn't mean they don't care about me,respect me or love me.

If there are other problems, that's one thing, but I wouldn't hold such resentment from this particular incident.

Oh, my! I would try to talk to her and ask her how she would feel if you didn't go to her wedding.
Why can't they alteast stay for the dinner and leave just a little early from the reception??

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Posted by EGreene79

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Posted by rojerono

I don't know...

If she doesn't want to come to the reception, I would be hurt. But I wouldn't write her off. I would kind of feel like... well I guess that it is your loss! She will be missing a fabulous time at a BEAUTIFUL wedding. She will likely regret it in the long run.

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I sort of agree with rojerono ... I would be disappointed, but from what I can tell it's stressful to have kids and you have to change a lot of your plans around. I'm expecting my brother, SIL and nieces to leave early because the reception is 7-12 and what are they going to do with the kids? I don't want them to, and hopefully they figure something out, but if they decide to go I completely understand that. I know it's not the same as not coming, but I guess I just have a different view of people missing the reception. If my siblings blew off the ceremony then I'd be mad, but just because they can't or don't want to attend the reception doesn't mean they don't care about me,respect me or love me.

If there are other problems, that's one thing, but I wouldn't hold such resentment from this particular incident.

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I don't agree at all! I'm sorry but yes having kids is hard and it takes a lot of shuffling. I realize that. But she lives in the same town as the reception hall!!! Seriously... there's no excuses. Your sister getting married should be the exception.

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Posted by ksl268

Oh, my! I would try to talk to her and ask her how she would feel if you didn't go to her wedding.
Why can't they alteast stay for the dinner and leave just a little early from the reception??

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Oh i tried. I emailed her that i was upset with her and so forth. All she did was reply back saying that she didn't have to explain her choices to me.

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Posted by tricia3381

i'm sorry this happening. i think if i was u i would be so mad that i would email to not even bother coming to the ceremony.

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Sounds right up my alley-- I get so spiteful when some p!sses me off or hurts me.

I don't think I could forgive this. She is your sister, not a casual friend. She should be there for you, regardless. It's not like she doesn't have options, like a babysitter.